Silver and Gold
by kkalmm
Summary: Maria wants Jasper back, badly. When she tries to hurt him through the one he loves, the consequences are huge for both vampires and werewolves. Rosalie's life is shattered, and Emmett has to pick up the pieces. Post BD. C/Es, A/J, Em/R, Ed/B & Jacob/Leah
1. Chapter 1: Witness

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language in later chapters**

**Summary: Maria wants Jasper back and badly. When she tries to hurt him through the one he loves, the consequences are huge for both vampires and werewolves. Rosalie's life is shattered and Emmett has to pick up the pieces. A mostly canon, post Breaking Dawn, epic that causes all manner of chaos amongst vampires, werewolves and the Volturi. C/Es, A/J, Em/R, Ed/B & Jacob/Leah**

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta RedSummer, who has the patience of a saint.**

**This Chapter has also been beta'd by Project Team Betas – Izzzyy and SecretlySeverus – and is now validated on Twilighted. Whoo Hoo!**

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**Maria's POV**

I stood at the edge of the forest hidden among the trees. Witnessing, but not a witness to this farce. The Volturi had their own agenda; I had mine. I had seen them during the destruction of the Southern clans, and I had watched as the newborns and their creators were decimated. The gifted always miraculously survived. After that, I'd been careful when I'd created my own army to fill the void left behind, and I made sure I knew as much as I could about the Volturi. I was not gifted, and I had no wish to die.

I was under no illusion that they were here to destroy an immortal child. They were here to destroy the threat that the Cullen clan represented; to acquire the gifted among them and twist them into serving the needs and desires of their leader, Aro. I was sure he had some pretty sinister desires. After thousands of years, his perception of the world was very self-centred. Even the other two Ancients appeared to be puppets to his whims.

I couldn't side with the Volturi; I knew that if Aro touched me I would die. No questions, just instant death for my involvement in the continued wars in the South and for my current newborn army. They probably knew of me anyway – my reputation preceded me, and even without Aro's touch I was on dangerous ground.

So here I was, hiding behind my would-be killers, hoping to salvage something of mine from the ensuing carnage. I laughed softly and continued to watch, waiting. That was the advantage of an eternity, one thing I had was time.

I stepped back further into the trees. The Cullens could only be seen now at the limit of my enhanced vision, through the leaves and branches of the intervening forest. The wolves, _werewolves_, were a surprise; their very scent caught in my throat and triggered some deep instinct to fight in the back of my mind. The presence of the werewolves alone was enough to cause the Volturi to pause.

I looked across the Cullen lines again and was certain now that the one I wanted was not there. He was the only reason I'd followed these so-called witnesses to the killing ground. I couldn't care less about the others, Aro could have them, but I wanted Jasper back and somehow, as yet undecided, I was going to get him.

The dark-haired girl, his _wife,_ was a problem. I was sure Aro wanted her. How could he not with her visions of the future? However, if she lived she would see that Jasper had been taken and not killed. She would come after him; not a threat, but an annoyance. Jasper would only return to me once his heart had been ripped from his body, once his resolve was broken and his love destroyed. He would never rejoin me willingly. Somewhere in there was the soulless monster that served me well for all those years, and I was determined to pull it, kicking and screaming, back to the surface.

This was not going as Aro had planned, that much was clear. He stood in the centre of the two groups accompanied by a small guard. Edward, his newborn bride, the child, a huge vampire, and a werewolf stood opposite. Aro appeared to be delighted as the child touched his face. Masked hope and relief showed in the expressions of the Cullens and their witnesses.

Had I heard him say daughter? Edward's daughter? A half human, half vampire hybrid? This could not be! He could not be thinking of letting them live? I'd been relying on his need to acquire, to judge first and not bother with the questions at all.

Why? _Why?_

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of all the wolves snarling and growling. A sharp bark from one brought silence crashing down again and their focus back onto the Volturi.

Interesting…

I looked again. Aro would not deign to count his witnesses amongst his number, including only the Volturi and their guard. By counting the wolves with the Cullens and their witnesses, he was outnumbered. Aro called his guard forward, causing the Cullens to drop back to their group. The gap between the contingents was so narrow now that they could be on each other in a fraction of a heartbeat, metaphorically speaking. The heavy beats of the wolves' hearts seemed so slow that it could all be over within one or two of their heartbeats.

The three Ancients discussed their options – certainly a situation I doubt they had ever been in before. What excuse would they use to force their hand? Suddenly, Caius pulled a vampire forward; she refused to accuse the wolves or the Cullens, and so denied the Volturi their justification for a massacre. The Volturi guard descend upon her, smothered her, ripped her to shreds and burnt her remains. It happened so fast I could watch the shock as it rippled through the Cullen lines.

I tensed, ready to run. If Jasper was not here, I would not get caught in the aftermath. Two of the Cullen witnesses leapt, snarls ripping from their throats, desperate to avenge her death and provoked into starting the fight that would end the Cullens and play into Aro's hands. But they were held back, protected and calmed, comforted even, by the Cullens. By their friends? How could vampires show such loyalty, such restraint, when one of their own was destroyed before their very eyes?

Almost as one, the Volturi guard crouched ready to fight and the tension in the air became palpable. I watched as Aro dismissed them and strolled calmly, calculatingly, to talk to some of the Cullen witnesses. He had a plan, some trap he wanted to manoeuvre them into, to corner them with their own words.

I was intrigued; this had turned into a very interesting afternoon.

One of the Cullen allies hurled accusations back to the Volturi's own witnesses. Aro allowed it, trying to twist it to his advantage. The Volturi witnesses were unsettled; some began slipping away through the trees in ones or twos, melting from the edges of the once bloodthirsty mob that stood at the edge of the field. I moved silently through the trees, away from the paths of the retreating vampires, and closer to the field to listen.

The end was near now. Aro, Caius and Marcus stood with their hands joined in conference. This was when Aro's false sentence would be passed and the Cullens destroyed whilst incapacitated by the guards' powerful gifts. I looked at Jane, crouched and hissing, and at Alec, with his concentration focused on the group before them.

They should be deaf and blind, immobilised, or writhing on the ground screaming in pain. Not calmly, in infinite emotional agony, by the looks of it, saying their goodbyes and kissing their loved ones – some passionately, for the last time. This was not a group under any illusion that they would be treated fairly. They knew that they would soon be fighting the hardest fight of their lives. Squaring their shoulders, they finally focused on the Volturi guard before them.

Picking targets?

I saw the slight shimmer then, the edges of Alec's desensitising gift, drifting across the narrow divide. A sudden wind whipped the snow against it and a fissure opened in the ground before it, but it did not slow in the slightest. The Cullens, it seemed, had some interesting gifts on their side of this fight, too. This I would watch; if I could identify who the gifted ones were, maybe I could do some acquiring of my own once the fight broke out.

Inevitably, the shimmer reached the Cullen group, but moulded and shaped around the area where the Cullens stood. It rose, high into the air and surrounding a dome of – what? No one I knew of had a shield that strong. Alec's face dropped into a mask of disbelief and then one of intense concentration. The shimmer roiled around the edges of the shield, searching for non-existent weaknesses. Edward's bride smiled then, a huge grin that caused Jane to shriek and snarl. It seemed that Edward's wife, the newborn, was the shield.

How a newborn, one obviously so young, was not a howling, crazed, bloodthirsty monster was beyond me. I had seen so many pass through the early stages, and I'd controlled them only because of Jasper's gift. How did she manage to stand there with the child actually in her arms, blood pumping inches from her mouth and nose, and still maintain a shield immense enough to cover that many vampires and their foul werewolf guard?

Aro seemed intent on continuing this farce, trying to salvage some scrap of dignity from this train wreck of a confrontation. I knew that the Volturi witnesses would not live long; what they had witnessed was a liability to the Volturi. I smiled to myself then, at the situation Aro had backed himself in to. He could not win! If he fought and tried to slaughter the Cullens, their own numbers would also be decimated. If he backed down he would lose the power he ruled over the rest of the vampire population, power that he thrived upon. He would lose that anyway even if he fought, because enough witnesses had escaped to pass on the story that the Volturi justice was merely a ruse.

Aro offered clemency to the gifted and places in the Volturi ranks; he was "merciful," he'd said. Now we came to the crux of it; finally the truth was out there, the real reason that they had come. With sudden finality, as if fed up with this game, Caius announced that the child should die. My eyes shifted to Marcus, who appeared bored as ever. He believed that there was no immediate danger and she should be allowed to live for now. This decision rested, as it always had, with Aro. His face darkened into a grave mask of pity as he prepared to speak.

Edward appeared to smile then, actually smile! He asked a question that seemed to bring him relief and victory filled his voice. If they knew, without doubt, that the child's future was no danger to our existence, would she be allowed to live? I tensed again, anxious. I sensed that not all was what it seemed. Aro conceded that the child could live and they would part in peace if, and only if, they knew without a doubt what her future would bring. A look of triumph spread across Edward's face.

Footsteps could be heard running through the forest and then Alice, Jasper and two unknown vampires burst from the trees, jumped nimbly over the shreds of Alec's shimmering attack, and ran forward to join Edward. I hissed and snarled; the sight of Jasper was a physical blow to me. He had become a softened version of my ultimate warrior. It took every scrap of my self restraint to force myself not to charge into that field and take him back. With immense effort, I brought my focus back to the proceedings. Unlikely though it was, the Volturi might still fight; I might still have that chance to regain my prize.

One of the unknown vampires was a hybrid like the child; calm, controlled and immortal. Her potential future personified. All Aro's posturing was at an end; it seemed that the Cullens had won this particular round. There was no way he could attack now. Not without cause, with irrefutable evidence in the Cullens favour, and Aro's rash promise to leave peaceably.

The Volturi backed down, their witnesses fled, and with a few last words the guard started to depart.

I needed to think. The chance to reclaim Jasper had passed. I looked once more through the leaves, across the field that divided us, and at the man who belonged to me, the man I had made, the man I had once owned and would own again. He looked down at the dark-haired girl beside him and smiled. Before my snarls could give me away, I ran.

The sounds of cheers, howls and celebration rose from the field. It faded quickly behind me as I put distance between us; the fury and bloodlust drove me fast through the trees. Had I been paying attention I would have noticed sooner the burning sensation in my throat and the irresistible smell of human blood. The hunting instinct took over and before I knew it I had killed the man I had almost run into.

The hot blood quenched my thirst, soothed my bloodlust and cooled my fury. Frustrated, I looked at the crumpled body at my feet, mangled and broken in my frenzy. What was I? Some out of control newborn, or the most feared leader of all the Southern clans? I kicked the body into the bushes and slumped at the side of the path.

Think, plan, but don't decide or she'll see it, the prescient little _bitch!_ How the hell was that meant to work? Something unplanned, impulsive, or spur of the moment – that was the only way I wouldn't get _seen_ and stopped before I got my chance. How could being impulsive give me a hope against the Cullens?

I needed a little time for their guests to depart and for their guard to drop. If I happened to be in the right place at the right time, then I could be impulsive. But I was only one and they were eight, plus their damn pet dogs.

Their scent was heavy in the area, so it was not a good place to wait and hope to remain unnoticed. I could smell their usual hunting range, so I moved through the landscape until their scent faded, still present, admittedly, but very old. However, there were other tantalising scents. Miles from any town or road, this meant they wouldn't be noticed for weeks and their disappearance wouldn't forewarn the Cullens. Maybe a little local muscle would come in handy.

I quickly followed the trail and spotted two men, heavily built and powerfully muscled, perfect for my needs. Before they even knew what hit them I had bitten them, gathered one under each arm and ran far from the trail. The screaming would alert any other humans in the area, so I put them in the back of a cave to muffle the noise and left them to the transformation.

I just waited and listened; there was no point spending the time planning. Even half-formed plans might trigger a vision of a possible future and prepare the Cullens. Instead, I dwelt on the Jasper I knew, the one I wanted back by my side; ruthless killer and vicious monster, a manipulator of moods. He had been an invaluable tool in my Southern army, and he would be again.

~o~

Eventually the screams lessened and the heartbeats started to race. It wouldn't be long now, and I hoped they wouldn't kill each other. I hadn't really looked at the men when I'd grabbed them; it was a moment of being impulsive rather than decisive. Now, as they neared their new awakening, I studied them.

Both of them had the weathered look of men who spent a lot of time in the wild; well worn, sturdy clothes, rough beards and tangled, slightly too long hair. But they weren't scrawny; they were either very good at living off the land or hadn't been back in the wild for long. The dark haired one appeared slightly taller and broader than the red head, but both would be formidable newborns once I had them under my spell.

The red head's heart stopped first. He lay unnaturally still and breathed in the scents in the cave. The darkness would calm them a little, but newborns were so damn jumpy. I had to wait for him to notice me or he would be catapulted into a frenzy and I'd have to kill him – such a waste of time when that happened.

He opened his eyes, shut them fast, and opened them again. Even in the dark I knew he had seen me clearly. I raised my eyes to his and smiled; a gentle, non-threatening, charming, oh-I'm-so-glad-you're-here-to-protect-me smile. He blinked and smiled tentatively back, and then his hand raised to his throat as the thirst hit him. Panic filled his face and his eyes darted everywhere like a cornered animal.

"It's okay," I said softly.

His glare swung round and fixed on me, unblinking. "I can help you with that – the thirst that you feel. I'm here to help you, guide you, look after you." He looked confused. Ah, yes, I'd forgotten that the human male was the next step up from a caveman sometimes: Big strong man protects woman, woman does not protect big strong man.

"You've changed; you're something different now, a Vampire. So am I. You're more powerful now, stronger, faster, but there is a lot to learn. Help me and I will ensure you get to satisfy that thirst."_ Disobey me and I will destroy you. _"Calm now, be still. Your new brother is awaking. If you startle him you will probably die." With one last surge the other man's heart raced, faltered and stilled.

"W-What?" the red head stuttered.

The dark haired newborn sprung up and pressed against the back wall. He crouched, hissing and snarling; his eyes were wild trying to take in every new thing at once. The red head had the sense to freeze; understanding even in his confusion and desperate thirst that if he moved, or made another sound, he would die instantly and probably painfully. It took me much longer to soothe the dark haired newborn, but at least they were both alive and not at each other's throats – yet.

Their names were Red and Buck, how damned original.

"Come with me. Let's get you some food." I beckoned them to the entrance of the cave and then jumped down onto the forest floor. I started towards the nearest town. Well, the nearest other than Forks – taking them there would have been too conspicuous. I heard the trees smash and fall as the newborns discovered their strength and speed, but obviously not the grace and coordination that usually came as part of the package deal.

I scented a small hiking group that had camped not far from where I had picked up these two. In the early morning light, before the humans were even properly awake, the tents were ripped open and the occupants quickly and messily dispatched. The end result looked like a fair approximation of a bear or mountain lion attack. Thank goodness I didn't plan on keeping these guys for long. Subtle and discreet would never be part of their vocabulary.

I returned to an area that the Cullens had used in the past. Faint traces of their scents were barely discernable on the foliage. I settled on a cliff which gave me a high vantage point overlooking the trees, but was protected from the direct sunlight. This would be a good place to sit and wait; a place to ponder.

Time passed, and suddenly the sound of footsteps and muffled laughter cut through the quiet of the forest, racing towards me through the trees from upwind, well away from our own scent trails. I sat taller, tense and listening. The newborns heads shot up too and they came to crouch closer to me. I didn't want to look too soon in case I unconsciously made a decision and sent them scattering away from us.

They ran beneath the cliff. As they passed, I glanced down to see short, dark hair and long, blond hair whip past. My stomach clenched, venom filled my mouth, and fury rose up my back. As I turned to the newborns I heard the steps below me falter.

"KILL THEM! Rip them apart!" I snarled.

The shriek rose from below as I jumped.

"Rosalie! EDWARD! Oh God, NO!"

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	2. Chapter 2: Rending

******Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language**

******Thank you to my very patient Beta RedSummer – especially with this chapter, as my punctuation went out the window!**

******This Chapter has also been beta'd by Project Team Betas – Edwardsfavoritebrunette and StoryPainter – and is now validated on Twilighted. Whoo Hoo!**

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**Edward's POV**

The last guests had departed the previous day and the reality of our escape was slowly sinking in. I didn't want to let Bella and Nessie out of my sight, knowing how close we had come to losing everything. I unconsciously squeezed Nessie closer to my body. She was sleeping, sprawled across my chest, her cheek over my heart. If it could beat, it would be the soundtrack for her dreams. Her mouth was slightly open, dribbling on my shirt, a slight snore on every breath. Not the most charming of images, but cute enough to break my heart. I breathed deeply, inhaling her scent, pressing my nose gently into her hair. Bella caught my eye, and the sparkle in her eyes reflected the love I knew was present in mine.

Jasper and Emmett were playing chess, one of their monster games – eight boards laid out against the back wall. Jacob watched, ribbing and joking with Emmett. I was sure it wouldn't be long before those two were testing their strength, wrestling. I could barely comprehend the thought of seeing a vampire and a werewolf play fighting! We would definitely need Carlisle to patch them both up after that one. Neither had the temperament to back down and after all we had been through, neither would really want to see the other badly hurt.

Jacob was still slightly wary of Jasper, who had been absent during the intensity of the past month. They hadn't got the measure of each other since the dynamics had changed. Despite the werewolf stench, Jacob had become part of this family, drawn always to Nessie, but now he was included and welcomed. Standing shoulder to shoulder with him, facing certain death, and knowing he would do anything, absolutely anything, to save my very reasons for living tended to change a person's perspective.

Esme and Carlisle were curled up on the sofa. He was holding her tight in his arms, enjoying the scent of her hair just as I was enjoying Nessie's. Half formed thoughts of love and contentment whispered through his mind. Esme still needed the closeness and comfort of his touch after coming so close to losing her family. We were all her children, loved so intensely that it did not matter that we were not her own flesh and blood. Venom – that was the bond, Carlisle's venom. But that wasn't completely true. Alice and Jasper, with no blood or venom to bind them to us, were equally loved; they were just as much Esme's children. It was Esme that truly bound us. She was our mother.

Rosalie and Alice had gone "hunting"; they didn't really need to feed, but boy did they need to get out of the house. They needed to talk. Rosalie was still furious with Alice for making us think she'd abandoned us, betrayed us. Jasper had put his foot down and sent them out together; he was fed up with the sharp hits of antagonism, resentment, confusion and love that flew whenever they caught each other's eye. He had said it was worse than getting a shock from Kate. We hoped a bit of girly bonding over a few angry grizzlies or mountain lions would ease the mood. Leah and Jacob had picked up no fresh scent nearby. The Volturi guard and witnesses had long gone, heading south mostly. Rosalie and Alice planned on going in the opposite direction. Whether they hunted or not, the atmosphere in the house could only improve.

I closed my eyes, drifting and contented, in the closest thing there was to sleep for a vampire. I cast my mind out to see if the girls had got over it yet. They were at my limit, not talking, but racing, trying to out-do each other. God, they could be as bad as guys sometimes!

A flicker of a vision formed in Alice's mind, but it was unclear, then images formed of rending flesh and fire. A piercing, mental scream forced one from my own lips. "ROSALIE! ALICE!"

I almost threw Nessie into Bella's arms; her eyes were wide with shock and Nessie woke violently from her slumber. Emmett's and Jasper's heads whipped around, searching for an explanation as I leapt straight through the glass of the living room window. They would follow; my actions conveyed the desperate urgency. The cacophony in my mind drove me to my physical limits; panic and fear behind me, agony and blinding terror in front of me.

Bloodlust and fury, satisfaction and revenge.

Three more minds became clear. "MARIA!" I called and pushed even harder, driven by Jasper's projected torment, "and two newborns." Jasper's snarl echoed off the surrounding hills. There were enough of us with my brothers, Carlisle and Jacob; further back Leah and Seth had picked up our panic from Jacob's mind as soon as he had phased. We were close, but not close enough.

Rosalie and Alice were fighting for their lives.

Through Maria's eyes, I saw Alice holding her own, but only because Maria couldn't get hold of her; it was a dance of death, prescience against experience. Through the newborns' eyes, I saw Rosalie twisting, ducking, and attacking as if she were fury personified. But there were two against one; even with their crude fighting newborns were immensely strong. Caught between them, Rosalie faltered, overpowered by the fledgling vampires as they wrapped their arms around her, their hands tight upon her body. I heard her screams both from a distance and piercingly clear in my head.

"NO!" I shouted. Was it possible to push my body even harder?

The images flooded my mind of Rosalie being torn limb from limb, immense pain engulfing her; Alice's horror distracted her from her own fight, and I watched as Maria finally got the upper hand and shrieked with delight.

I was in the lead as we burst through the trees. My body slammed hard into Maria, catapulting her from the clearing and through several trees before smashing into the base of a cliff. In a mere fraction of a second, I found myself in the worst fight of my life. I couldn't listen to the other minds; I had to focus only on Maria. Blurring with speed, destroying the forest around us, causing great chunks of the cliff to fall, this fight was like nothing I had ever experienced. Even with my gift, I was still at a disadvantage; Maria had been fighting so long it was instinctual.

Jasper hit us then, only a split second after I had broken into the clearing, and I saw the monster that he had been; the ultimate killing machine that Maria had honed over all those years. Maria had hurt Alice. Even during the fight Jasper was mentally shouting commands at me and between us we managed to get a tentative hold on her, only to have it broken again and again. My arms were burning from her bites; I knew I had lost fingers, and a chunk or two from elsewhere.

We caught hold of her again, firmly at last, just as Emmett's desolate cry hit us with the force of a wrecking ball, mentally and emotionally jarring us. That moment was all it took. She twisted away from our clasp and disappeared into the forest. We sprung after her, pushing through the trees trying to get close to her. She kept evading our grasping fingers and left us only with snatches of cloth as the insubstantial fabric ripped away from her. We pursued her to the edge of the peninsula where she dove off the cliff without breaking stride, escaping to the sea.

I collapsed to my knees, gasping for un-needed breath. My hand went out to Jasper's shoulder, but before I could touch him he was gone, retracing his steps back to Alice. I looked once more out at the sea before following him. I staggered back to the clearing, meeting the others' eyes. They were glazed, shocked at what had happened, what we had done. Jacob was hurt, but healing fast. Carlisle's hands moved over his body, setting the bones in his leg. I met his eyes, questioning, and saw a mental image of a newborn catching him by the ankle as he surged forward to help Emmett and Carlisle, swinging him around his head and launching him into a tree. "Damn, Jacob!"

I saw Alice then, clasped so tightly in Jasper's arms that only a few spikes of dark hair emerged from his embrace. If vampires could cry, he would have had tears streaming down his face. Pain was written across his features as he unknowingly projected it, adding it to our own. Not his pain, or thankfully Alice's, but the pain he was picking up from Rosalie and Emmett. I could hardly look. It was cowardly of me to have looked to the others first, but what could I do?

Emmett was kneeling among the bushes surrounded by the shredded remains of the newborns. His arms were wrapped close to his chest, blonde hair cascading from his hands. There was no body to go with the head. Emmett was silent, rendered mute by his inability to breathe, his face taut in a mask of agony. His mind was howling what he couldn't voice. I stumbled over to him, collapsed at his side and wrapped my arms around them both.

"We can fix her, Em. We can fix her." My words sounded hollow even to my own ears, and his mental slap was harsh and deserved.

"_And how the FUCK are we supposed to find all of her to put back to-FUCKING-gether? She's everywhere! They're everywhere! There's no FUCKING way to do this… Oh, FUCK….Oh, Rosalie… Rose…_"

He had a point. I looked around, and every surface within a hundred meters was covered with shattered vampire flesh. My few missing parts were over by the cliffs. Rosalie could have been anywhere.

"We have time, Em. All the time in the world."

A snarl ripped through him and I just accepted the backhand I knew was coming. I took out three more trees as I flew from the clearing and crashed to the ground, I just lay where I had landed. I'd deserved that. He was right; the longer it took to put her back together, the less chance there was of her healing cleanly. He didn't want to hear about time, he wanted her back immediately.

Leah and Seth burst into the clearing I had just made and skidded to a halt; their paws scattered some of the discarded remains before they could completely stop. The sight that met them was enough to shock Leah back to human form. She crashed to the ground and crouched naked and trembling as she fully took in the surroundings. She hadn't seen this in Jacob's mind as he had phased back as soon as he was hurt. Carlisle was no vet, and Jacob knew that as soon as the pain really hit he wouldn't have been able to phase.

Leah had thought they were coming to help, not aware that they would arrive so obviously too late. She turned and staggered to the trees, her mind reeling. There was no love lost between Leah and Rosalie, but Rosalie was a familiar face, part of the family that Jacob had thrust all of his pack into by imprinting on Nessie. It was one thing to rip up nameless newborns but quite another to see Rosalie with her head in Emmett's arms like some disjointed doll. Leah threw up again and again until there was nothing left to throw up.

'_Some tough fucking werewolf I am!_'

She untangled her clothes from the binding around her ankle and pulled them on.

'_Right, pull yourself together. Someone needs to take charge here and it sure as hell ain't going to be Jake or one of the stinking bloodsuckers. I'm the damn Beta here. What the hell can we do to clear up this fucking mess?_'

She stood tall and turned with a very good effort at authority as she looked us over.

She turned to me because I was the closest. "Can you put her back together?"

"Yes, if we can find all the pieces. It gets harder for her to heal cleanly the longer she's – apart."

She looked at my hand then and cocked her head. "Is anyone else missing anything?"

I did a quick inventory. "I'm missing three fingers, two chunks of forearm, a bit of shoulder and an ear."

Carlisle shook his head. "Just bites, they're healing." Jasper shook his head too.

"Em," she said gently. "Em, are you missing anything?" Blankly he shook his head, but we could both see that he was missing an ear.

"Right. Seth, you've got the best damn nose in the pack even when you're human. You're on the Cullens. Get the big bits of Rosalie first and give them to Emmett. You're looking for bits of Edward and Emmett too. Go Fetch, Kiddo!"

Seth had been shaking, looking more like a kicked puppy than I ever wanted to see again. The command in Leah's voice roused him and gave him purpose. He could achieve something here. He bounded up to Emmett and stuffed his nose in Rosalie's hair. Emmett snarled at him, shocked by the unexpected action. Then Seth went off, throwing bits of broken flesh away with his teeth.

'_Newborn… more newborn… Ah, Rosalie!_'

He dived into a bush and pulled out what looked like most of Rosalie's torso. He gripped it by the remains of her shirt and brought her carefully to Emmett. Emmett snarled again, not fully comprehending what was happening.

'_Don't take MY head off big guy. I'm just trying to help!'_

Seth dropped his find at Emmett's knees. I watched understanding spread across Emmett's face. He stood then, one hand cradling Rosalie's head and the other reaching out to Seth. He put his forehead on Seth's in unspoken thanks, gratitude coursing though his mind.

"Edward! Stop gawping and make yourself useful." I jumped, not even aware that Leah's attention had been on me. "Clear an area and make a fire. NOTHING goes in without being checked first. If you're not sure, save it for Seth to check. He's a scrawny little pup," Seth put his ears back and growled, "but he's got the best nose in the whole pack." Seth huffed through his nose and continued his search. I snapped my mouth shut, picked myself up, and did what I was damn well told.

Leah went over to Carlisle and Jacob, asking "What's the damage?" She swept her eyes down Jacob's body, taking in the blood and already fading bruises. Then her mind faltered, startling me from my task.

'_SHIT, Jake, you're hung! I did not just think that! Oh God, I did not just think that… he's still a kid… he's my Alpha… he's still a kid… he's my Alpha… get a fucking grip, Leah!'_

Unaware of Leah's inner monologue, Carlisle answered for Jake. "He's broken three ribs, his femur in two places, and fractured his ankle. But he phased quickly and I was able to set the bones before the healing kicked in. A couple more minutes and he'll probably be OK to phase back, but he'll have to take it slow for a while"

'_Great! A couple of minutes and he'll have a front seat view into my mind.'_

"Thanks, Carlisle." Leah smiled and looked up at him. "If Jake carries on like this, you'll have to do veterinary training. That's twice now you've had to patch his sorry ass up!"

"Yeah, right," Jake snarled. He eased himself up.

"Up for clean-up duty?" she asked. _'A nose full of that stench should clear my mind – Fast,'_ she silently added.

"Bring it on!" He stood, clasping Carlisle's shoulder, stretching and easing his leg. Leah turned her back fast, too fast, and caught my eye.

'_No fucking secrets! If it's not the pack mind, it's the bloodsucking mind reader – say ANYTHING and I will personally rip you a new asshole. GOT IT?'_

"Edward, I'm going to phase back now, so is Jake. He can hobble around now without doing any damage. Three noses are going to be better than one. You're translator from now on. Get the others on clean up duty too. If they can walk, they're helping, got it?"

"Got it," I replied to both the spoken and unspoken, but I looked away quickly, since she didn't bother going to the trees to strip. It was a small courtesy considering what she was doing for us. She loped off to the newborns' remains and started carrying them towards the fire. Jasper finally released Alice then, placed a kiss on her forehead, and called after Leah.

"You sort 'em, Darlin', but I wanna throw every damn piece of those bastards in the fire. Got it?"

'_Sure thing, Cowboy.'_

"She's got it, Jasper," I translated.

Small arms snaked around my waist as a familiar head of dark spiky hair pressed against my chest.

"Thank you, Edward." She breathed the words, so I could hardly hear them. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight, too tight, but she clung to me.

"Oh, Alice…"

"You came so fast. I thought that was it, I thought we'd be dead – ashes – by the time you got to avenge us." She breathed deeply and shuddered against my chest. "I didn't see it. I didn't see them! No warning, only moments before they dropped on us. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

"Hush now. You've no reason to be sorry. I should be apologising to you. We should have been quicker. Maybe we shouldn't have let you go alone."

"But –"

"No 'but's! You couldn't have seen her if she hadn't decided, if she had no fixed plan. You'd said that she wanted Jasper back, but she's been thinking that from the moment she found out he was with you. You can't possibly expect those visions to have warned you about today. You saw as soon as she decided, you must have run straight under her feet. You warned us as soon as you knew. No more 'sorry's, OK?"

She looked up into my eyes. "But we weren't good enough…"

"Bullshit! I saw you fighting through their eyes, heard their thoughts; you two were demons! You didn't give them the easy ride they were expecting, and they were amazed you held out as long as you did. Alice, you just held your own in a fight for your life against one of the most feared leaders of the Southern Clans. Most wouldn't have stood a chance. You held out, and you're alive. Even Jasper and I together could hardly touch her."

Alice grabbed my shirt and sobbed into it. "But Rose!"

"Rosalie held off two newborns all by herself. Newborns who were fierce, feral, and built like Emmett. I remember what he was like and I can't imagine facing two of him at once. They thought she was some avenging angel come to drag them to hell for what they had become!" I pulled Alice's face up towards mine. "Look at me, Alice." Her eyes reluctantly met mine. "She WILL be OK. We CAN fix her." I kissed her forehead gently. She looked so fragile. "Now let's do as we've been told and help clear up this mess. Got it?"

"That's getting old now, but I've got it. Got it?" She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

As she moved up to the fire to stand next to Jasper, Seth dropped a large chunk of newborn at her feet. He huffed through his nose as if to rid himself of the scent and then cocked his head towards the fire. Alice's smile was pure evil. "Willingly," she said, and picked up the chunk, hurling it into the flames.

Carlisle and I moved up to Emmett. For all his size he looked like a little boy lost. Rosalie's torso, arms, most of her legs and one hand had been found, but the pieces were still separate around him.

"I… I… don't know what to do… I don't want her to hurt while we're doing this, I don't even know if she's hurting now. I don't want to make it worse. Carlisle! What do I DO?"

"I don't know, Emmett. It's not something I have experience with. I've never known anyone who has been through this. Jasper may be your best bet as he's fought in so many wars; he must know of someone who has been put back together. I've been very seriously damaged, but my head has always been on my shoulders. That was very, very painful, but I was conscious the whole time. My only guess is that when the head is – disconnected – that the messages from the rest of the body cease so, in theory, we should put her body back together first and reconnect her head last so that she doesn't feel the missing parts. BUT, that is a theory. I don't know what she is feeling now."

Inevitably all eyes rested on me. I knew exactly what was going through her head, as much as a tried to block it, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let them have the whole truth. Rosalie was a screaming, gibbering wreck, terrified out of her skull, and in immense pain. On top of that, she was worried about Emmett and Alice, and, scarily for me, now waiting to hear my answer.

"She's conscious and can hear us. She can't feel anything below her neck but can feel the wound."

'_Understatement of the fucking year there, Edward… 'Can feel the wound'… too fucking right I can. Just hurry up for FUCK'S SAKE!'_

Emmett looked shocked. "She can hear?"

"Yes, Emmett, and feel you stroking her cheek. She's keen to get her body back to put it mildly."

Seth came up with another part then, an ear, but he gave it to Emmett instead. Not my ear then. Emmett looked puzzled. "It's yours," I told him, "you get to be the guinea pig for our first lesson in how to repair a vampire." This time we all looked at Carlisle. "Over to you, Doctor."

"Venom – you've got to use your venom to reattach it."

I guess that made sense. We used our venom to heal smaller wounds. I grabbed Emmett's ear, licked it so the broken surface was covered in venom, lined it up and stuck it back on. Emmett hissed and slapped his hand over it. "Fuck it, Edward, what did you do? That stings like hell!"

'_Oh, joy… this IS going to be fun… Shit, Edward, can it get any worse?'_

I wished Rosalie hadn't heard that.

Jasper came over then. "Vampire venom does sting; wouldn't be much of a weapon otherwise, would it?" I think we all looked at his scars with fresh eyes, something that didn't pass him by. "It eases," _after a few days,_ "once you've fed."

Thank God he didn't say that out loud. Apart from the few caustic comments in my direction, Rosalie was still freaking out.

Leah came up with a couple of fingers then.

'_I'm never going to let you forget this, you know.'_

I grabbed them eagerly, licked them and steeled myself for the sting as I re-attached them. Nothing. Emmett was obviously watching out for my flinch – the flinch that didn't come.

'_What the?'_

"Oh, yeah. Your own venom doesn't sting," Jasper added. Emmett glared at me. Leah came up with my ear then; realisation dawned and we both lunged for it.

'_Careful, fuckwits, I've still got some bits of you to find, so play nice, boys!'_

Leah skipped out of the way, dropping it on the ground slightly nearer to Emmett. I lost, Emmett re-attached my ear, and this time I hissed despite every effort not to for Rosalie's sake.

'_Just fucking great. I get a choice do I? You attach my body, I scream in pain until I've licked every part that needs to go back on; or you put my body back together, then attach my head and I scream in pain at all your fucking venom in my system. NOT MUCH OF A FUCKING CHOICE IS IT? Do you want to scream in pain or would you like to scream in pain? The only reason I'm not screaming in pain right now is because I haven't got any FUCKING LUNGS!'_

I winced; what a choice. "How do we do this, then?" A question for Rosalie as well as Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper.

'_Just put the damn thing back together. I DO NOT want to see this, I do not want to do this, I do not want the memory. Please…'_

The others looked at me. They were waiting for Rosalie's answer. "We do it."

"Right, let's move her to a clear area then we'll know that everything we have is Rosalie. OK, Emmett?" Carlisle spoke softly, unsure whether he would let us touch her body at the moment.

"OK, but my venom. I'm not having you licking her body whether she can feel it or not." He was still cradling her head as he walked away, dazed.

We grabbed all the pieces that we had and followed him. When the area was finally clear of newborn remains, he dropped to his knees. He tucked Rosalie's head in his lap, grabbed her torso and started undressing it. "Sorry, Babe, there's no way to do this discretely. Let's start with the big bits, arms and legs."

'_Mmmm… you do that my Monkey Man… and as soon as I'm in one piece I'm going to wrap my arms and legs round your horny ass!'_

"Em… Don't put her in your lap!"

'_Don't you fucking dare, Edward! It's the first time I've been distracted enough not to be screaming and if I want to THINK about being whole and with Emmett again, then you can just put up with it you fucking prude… maybe I'll get creative and you can take notes for your non existent sex life!'_

Images assaulted me – unwelcome, too damn clear – Emmett's face as he came.

I stiffened. Just because we didn't break things didn't mean we didn't…

"Forget I just said that."

Emmett looked at me in confusion before realisation spread across his face and he smirked. He stroked Rosalie's hair and then held her tighter into his crotch for a moment.

'_Mmmm… you just wait my Monkey Man…'_

"Let's get this done. I do not want to be seeing images of your bony ass any longer than I have to."

We pieced Rosalie's body together and Emmett used his venom to join the parts. Seth came over regularly with more pieces; these were getting smaller and smaller as the area was cleared. We had her mostly complete, just missing bits around the major breaks where she had shattered.

"What about the holes, Jasper?" Emmett asked. I was wondering that too.

"We need to find and fill as many of these as we can. They'll hurt more, and scar, unless we can fix them now." I guess he knew all about that.

Seth padded over then, a gangly boy in cut off shorts. His hands held two dozen tiny pieces. He laid them carefully on the remains of Rosalie's shirt. "Jigsaw puzzle time! I think there's more to find." He returned two more times.

Shit, that was one hell of a jigsaw puzzle.

Alice joined us, dusting her hands on her jeans. "All gone. Can I help?"

We knelt around Rosalie's body, working silently as we tried to replace those last elusive bits. It took far too long even at vampire speed. Leah had found the last missing chunks of my flesh and I fitted them back into the craters they'd come out of. Maria's venom was still stinging in my body, but the ferociousness of the fight had increasing my own venom, dulling the pain she'd inflicted. It was my ear that hurt most, the one Emmett had fixed for me. That was distracting enough. What on earth would Rosalie feel?

At last, her body was whole – it wouldn't be without scars, but we had done everything we could up to that point. Emmett slipped off his shirt and dressed Rosalie's body. "She wouldn't like to be seen this way."

I was confused. Rosalie had never been shy; she loved showing off her body, but, admittedly, a little more dressed than she was at the moment. She was a strong and forceful whirlwind, confident, and acidic if she put her mind to it. Emmett looked at my face, he being the mind reader for once.

"Vulnerable, Edward. She'd hate to be seen vulnerable." It was so low I could barely hear, but I understood. She'd been there before; beaten, raped, almost destroyed. She'd never shared those details, not even with Emmett, and neither had I.

Jasper grabbed Alice's hand. "Come on, Darlin', we gotta hunt… What's her favourite?" They shot into the trees. "Wait till we get back," Jasper called to us.

We sat silently, staring at each other over the body, Emmett stroking Rosalie's hair absentmindedly. Her erotic mental barrage had stopped. The fear had crept back into her mind. Despite the pain she was in, she was terrified it would get worse, much, much worse. She didn't know if she had the strength to get through it, even knowing Emmett was there for her, knowing he would be with her every second. Mentally she was sobbing like a child, wanting to curl up small and wish it all away. Oh God, did I second that wish…

Leah nudged me then; I was oblivious to her mental prodding for a change.

'_We're going back to the house. Jake's going to warn Bella, Ness and Esme. You can't just carry her back like that without giving them a proverbial heart attack.'_

"Thanks, Leah. Be gentle with them."

'_Yeah, yeah. I'm not a total bitch you know.'_

'_Wanna bet?'_ Jacob's mental voice cut in, followed by a wolfy snigger from Seth.

She spun and nipped their haunches. They skipped out of reach, yelping and headed to the house.

'_No damn respect…'_

She set off after them, catching them easily. She settled into the Alpha's running position. Until Jacob was fully healed and willing to take it back, she was the authority figure and she was going to do her best. Jacob and Seth settled into stride beside her. Respect in their actions but never their thoughts. They continued ribbing her until they were well out of sight.

Alice and Jasper returned carrying two large bucks and a mountain lion. They laid them close to Rosalie and nodded to Emmett. He was just as terrified of the pain he was about to inflict upon his beloved, but he lifted her head, softly kissed her on the forehead, licked her neck and attached it to her body.

Her whole body arched as if shocked; she drew in a deep breath and finally screamed aloud the pain she'd been feeling. Still screaming, she rolled into Emmett and threw herself into his chest. He held her tightly while murmuring into her hair. The screams subsided to sobs, but her body was still shaking, wracked with pain. "You've got to feed, Babe. Jasper said it would ease it." Emmett gently lifted a buck towards her. Still curled in his lap, she grabbed it and drained it, both bucks, and the lion. Her shaking subsided a little, her eyes turned from pitch black to golden and the marks on her limbs seemed to fade into her skin.

Emmett lifted her in his arms, cradling her. Without a word, we all set off to return home.

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**Thank you for reading - Please, please, review :o)**


	3. Chapter 3: Consequences

******Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language**

**Thank you to my Beta RedSummer, who has corralled my commas, eliminated my ellipsis, and taught me how to punctuate speech.**

******This Chapter has also been beta'd by Project Team Betas – Lezlee and onlybythenight1 – and is now validated on Twilighted. Whoo Hoo!**

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**Jacob's POV**

I found some shorts and a t-shirt at the edge of the forest. I guessed the shredded remains I'd left in the living room when I phased were a bit of a give away. Leah and I dressed quickly and headed to the house, but I sent Seth back to the others so they knew what had happened. I took point and Leah dropped back into second with relief. I had one hell of a Beta, but I damn well wasn't going to tell her that.

Esme had the door opened and was across the lawn before we got two paces. I'd never seen her drop her human façade so completely around us before. She hadn't needed to ask, I saw it in her eyes.

"They're okay. Everyone is okay now," I told her. She took a deep breath – it was unnecessary but was a sign she was calming.

"Rosalie is hurt, but she's healing. Alice is shaken but unharmed." From the front steps Bella let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Let's get inside and then I can explain everything."

I sat on the sofa, Nessie curled up in my lap, Bella and Esme opposite with their hands clasped together.

"Okay, they're going to be back soon so this is the short version." They nodded in understanding; we'd talk more on this later.

"Maria was waiting in the forest to the north, just outside your usual range, and she'd had two newborns. Rosalie and Alice literally ran into them and Maria made a snap decision to fight. Alice managed to warn Edward, and that's when we all shot out the window after him."

If it were possible for a vampire's face to get any paler, both Bella's and Esme's would have. Nessie tensed up in my lap and clutched tight to my t-shirt.

"Edward got there first. He took on Maria who was fighting Alice. Jasper joined him but she got away. They chased her into the sea. Edward had to be patched up a bit afterwards, but he's fine. So are Jasper and Alice."

Bella collapsed into Esme's arms.

"Emmett and Carlisle went for the newborns and destroyed them. I got caught by a newborn and ended up being hurled into a tree, but Carlisle fixed me up. Emmett and Carlisle are fine. Emmett had to have his ear put back on, that's all."

Esme sat taller then. "You're holding something back, Jacob. What happened to Rosalie?"

I looked at the floor. Nessie started trembling so I held her tighter. Leah put her hand on my shoulder and that seemed to scare Esme more than anything else.

"Just before we got there the newborns overpowered her. She was torn apart."

Esme crumpled. I rushed to continue.

"After the fight we found all the pieces and put her back together. That's what took us so long. She's in one piece now and they're bringing her back."

_Oh God, I hope she's still in one piece._

Nessie was sobbing into my chest, she loved Rosalie intensely. I stroked her hair and planted a kiss on the top of her head. Bella held Esme in her arms now, comforting her tearless sobs. It must be tough not to have that release.

Bella looked over Esme's head. "There's more, isn't there?"

I nodded. I'd heard the screams, but they were too far from the house for Bella and Esme to have heard.

"She's in a lot of pain…" I said in a small voice.

I watched Esme sag further into Bella's arms. I didn't have a clue what to do. I felt useless.

"I want to hug Grandma Esme," Nessie's little voice whispered against my neck.

I carried her over and knelt on the floor beside them. Before I knew what was happening I had all of them in my arms, Esme clutching me tightly as if she might get washed away by the force of her emotions. Bella was still holding Esme, and Nessie got sandwiched in the middle with her arms around both. I squeezed them tightly to me and then impulsively kissed all their heads, lingering on Esme's as her need was so obvious.

"They're nearly here," Leah said from the window.

We broke apart and Bella and Esme composed themselves. They had no tears to dry or red splotched eyes to hide. Nessie, however, was a mess; I dried her eyes, wiped her nose, told her she looked beautiful and tucked her tight into my chest.

Carlisle was first through the door and Esme hurled herself into his arms. Alice and Jasper came next followed by Emmett with Rosalie cradled in his arms. Edward came in last, looking really drawn – like death warmed up – but without the warm part. He pulled Bella to him and breathed in the scent of her hair.

"We need blankets," he said softly, and Bella became a blur as she rushed to retrieve some from upstairs.

By the time Emmett reached the sofa there were heaps of blankets and cushions to make Rosalie comfortable. Emmett laid her down with infinite care. She looked as fragile as a porcelain doll. When she flicked her eyes open they were pitch black and full of pain.

"I thought you'd hunted for her?" I asked concerned.

"We did," Jasper said.

"And twice on the way back," Edward continued.

_Holy Shit! That explained the drawn look then. Normally these guys lasted weeks._

"I thought you knew about these things?" I threw that comment at Jasper. He flinched as he caught my unintended stab of animosity as well.

"It always worked before," he said defeated.

"Well? What the hell is different now?" I pushed.

From the slump of Jasper's shoulders and the pained looked Emmett shot me I could see this was a conversation that they'd already had on their way back. I was surprised at myself for arguing so harshly on Rosalie's behalf, normally I hated the bitch with such intensity you could almost see it in the air.

"Human blood," Jasper whispered.

_Ah yes, the 'normal' vampire diet._

"We've still got donated, there's some put aside for Nessie." I turned to go; I knew where it was kept. I'd refused to prepare it for Nessie, preferring to stick to 'human food' when I was with her, but right now I wasn't going to let Rosalie fall apart in front of our eyes.

"No…" I barely heard it. I stopped and turned.

Rosalie was looking at me. "No…human… blood…"

"WHAT! Are you MAD?" I shouted, furious all of a sudden.

I could not understand the complaisance of the vampires around me. I looked at them all; closed faces and sagging shoulders.

_SHIT, another conversation they had already had._

"No…human… blood…" Barely a whisper, but adamant.

I remembered she was the only one who'd _never_ tasted human blood. Even Carlisle had tasted it, if only when he turned his family.

"So you're just going to let yourself fall apart again? You can't live like this!" I was shouting again, beginning to shake, I was so angry with her.

Bella came and took Nessie from my arms; she'd begun to cry. The look in Nessie's eyes nearly killed me.

"NO, NO, NO! You can't do this to your family!" I shouted, gesturing towards Nessie in particular. Tears and snot covered her face, absolute desolation sounded in every cry. The only thing she wanted in this world right now was for Rosalie to be okay. It tore me apart not to be able to give that to her. It was a deep and physical pain.

I paced between them, Rosalie and Nessie, trying my hardest not to phase right there in the middle of the room. I hadn't had to fight that hard for control since I was new – a pup, as Sam had called me when I was being insolent.

I dropped to my knees beside Rosalie. "Why?"

"If… I taste it… I will want it… again… I might… kill… a human…" She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, the breath shuddering out of her again. "Not… going to… risk it…"

"FUCK-IT Rose!" I hit the sofa with my clenched fists and Jasper had to forcibly restrain Emmett.

I paced again. If I lost it anywhere near Rosalie again Emmett would finish me off. I looked between Nessie and Rosalie with tears running down my face. I made up my mind and Alice collapsed into Jasper, a vision clouding her eyes.

I strode across to Rosalie and held out my wrist.

"I am NOT human. I am immune. I heal fast as long as you don't take it all. Now for FUCK'S SAKE will you DRINK!"

There was not a sound in the room; my shout seemed to echo off the walls. I held my wrist closer to Rosalie's mouth looking straight into her darkened eyes.

"Please…" I pleaded softly.

She reached out and held my wrist in her cool hands, her eyes confused. I guessed she knew just how much I hated her, but at that moment it was the only way to stop the pain that Nessie was suffering. This was something I could do, and I would do anything for Nessie, absolutely anything.

I nodded to Rosalie, a firm reply to her unspoken question and I closed my eyes as Rosalie's lips closed around my wrist. Her teeth were sharp and the bite painful, but I'd had worse and knew I'd heal in minutes once she was done. The sensation of having the blood sucked out of my body was completely surreal. My heart raced and my head began to swim.

I slumped forward, only for strong cool arms to hold and support me.

"That's enough, Rosalie. Stop now." Carlisle's gentle voice was close to my ear.

I let my head drop back onto his shoulder as Rosalie's lips left my arm. I flicked my eyes open and saw that the transformation was amazing. She lay there with her eyes closed, a slight flush of pink in her cheeks. All the scars seemed to have vanished into her skin. I hoped that this rejuvenation lasted more than half an hour.

"Come on, Jacob, let's get you lying down." Carlisle lifted me to my feet and my head swam alarmingly. He gently manoeuvred me onto the other sofa and surprisingly it was Emmett that brought blankets over for me.

I opened and closed my hand. The sting of the bite wasn't fading as fast as I thought it would. I guessed the blood loss had slowed down my healing. I opened it and closed it again. The sting was getting worse, creeping up my arm, starting to burn.

"Shit," I muttered, fear brushed the edges of my mind.

Edward was at my side in an instant. "The truth. Now!"

"Burning… up my arm…" I managed through clenched teeth.

"No way! We're immune!" Leah's voice was sharp. "I've been bitten before and this never happened."

She was at my side, her hot hands on my body close to Edward's cold ones.

_Fire and ice… am I losing it?_

I groaned.

"Your immunity – does it matter what you are? Wolf or Human?" Edward asked Leah urgently.

"I don't know! It wasn't mentioned in the legends. No werewolf has ever been crazy enough to offer themselves up to a vampire before. Normally one whiff and we phase!"

"Can you phase, Jacob?" Edward's voice again.

"No…"

_Not a hope in hell._

"ARRRGHHH!" I arched my back, fighting the pain and failing.

Bella ran over, Nessie in her arms. "You saved me before, Edward. Can you do it again? Can you suck the venom out?"

Cold hands grabbed at my wrist and turned it over to see the wound.

"Oh, damn, werewolf healing. It's sealed. I can't suck the venom out without making another wound and putting more venom _in_. He hasn't enough blood left to cope with that. He's barely got enough as it is." Edward's voice was edging towards panic now.

"Stupid DAMN WEREWOLF!" Leah shouted.

_Is she actually crying? Oh damn… It seemed like such a good idea at the time._

"Love you, Nessie." I managed to force the words between my clenched teeth. It might be all the goodbye I got. I was pretty damn sure that vampire venom wouldn't turn _me_. Not a werewolf, a supernatural enemy. This would be death.

Nessie landed on my chest then and grabbed my arm out of Edward's hand.

"I'm not venomous." Her small clear voice was like song in my ears. I nearly laughed.

I hoped I had enough blood left in me as her small sharp teeth bit into my wrist. For the second time I felt the blood being sucked out of me, but this time the burning went with it. Darkness closed around me as I blacked out.

~o~

**Rosalie's POV**

The pain eased immediately. Jacob's blood was like a cool balm, soothing the burning venom in my body. I closed my eyes, finally relaxing as it spread blissfully though my system. I could actually feel the scars healing.

I heard them take Jacob to the other sofa, eternally grateful for his selfless gift. I was sure the others were exasperated that I wouldn't have the donated blood; I could be a stubborn bitch if I chose to be, and on that point I would not budge.

I heard Jacob's muffled expletive and listened in mounting horror as Jacob started to burn with my venom. I sat up and watched, sickened, as he writhed trying to fight it as it spread. Nessie leapt, her words hardly registering in my shock at what I'd done. No principle was worth this, no matter how closely held.

Carlisle disappeared, returning in an instant with arms full of medical equipment. He waited, poised, by Jacob's side.

"It's clean." Nessie barely got the words out before she was whipped off his chest. Carlisle was straight to work setting up drips and lines. Within moments two bags of saline were running into cannulas on Jacob's hand and the crook of his arm, a third and forth were being set up on the other arm, simply trying to get enough fluid into his body to carry the last few meagre blood cells around.

Nessie ran to me, curling into my chest as I cradled her in my arms. Her eyes never left Jacob.

"Will he be okay?" Such a tiny voice, full of fear.

"Nessie, Carlisle does this every day at work, he's the best. He's the absolute best there is." How could I promise he'd be okay? I didn't know.

He looked awful. He was deathly pale, his normally russet skin was a sickly yellow and his lips were blue. I could hear Jacob's heart beat as it stuttered and struggled compared to the other two heartbeats in the room. Nessie's thrummed and Leah's raced, both audibly reflecting their anxiety. I was sure Nessie could hear it too.

Bella returned with four bags of O negative, part of Nessie's supply. I hadn't even noticed she'd gone.

"The other bags were different blood types. I didn't know what we could use." She spoke quickly handing the bags to Carlisle, the strain in her face evident. She was only a few months old and I could smell the blood from here. To have been able to sort through the bags must have taken immense control. Luckily, that wasn't something Bella had a problem with.

Carlisle rushed to set up the blood as the saline emptied, but the uneven beat of Jacob's heart stumbled to a halt. Nessie whimpered, digging her hands into my arms. I turned her face into my chest as I watched Carlisle haul Jacob off the sofa and onto the floor, heedlessly ripping out the drips and lines. He started compressions immediately.

_No, please no… this could not be happening._

Some flicker of sense returned to my fuddled brain and I remembered the defibrillator and adrenaline that we'd got in when Bella was pregnant. It was not one of the manual hospital ones, but one of those small automatic ones you saw everywhere now, something Carlisle had brought home 'just in case'. I was suddenly immensely grateful we still had it in the house. I threw Nessie onto my back and ran to where I had last seen it. Nessie held tight, her weight was negligible.

Edward was resetting the cannulas and connecting up the blood when I returned. I ripped open the packaging and stuck the Defib pads to Jacob's body. I worked around Carlisle as he continued CPR. I was glad we'd practiced for Bella, but never in a million years did I think we'd need it now, not after she'd been turned. The spoken instructions on the Defib were at human speed, excruciatingly slow as it checked for his heartbeat and then charged. Nessie clung tighter, reminding me of her presence on my back, and her small body began to shake.

I stepped back letting Carlisle and Edward have the space they needed; scooped Nessie into my arms and retreated back to the sofa where we'd been before. She was rigid with shock, her wide chocolate eyes filled with terror. Carlisle leant away from Jacob as Edward pressed the button to deliver the shock. Jacob's body shuddered. I held my breath hoping for the sound of his heartbeat.

Nothing…

Carlisle continued CPR, cycles of thirty compressions and two breaths. The defibrillator's automatic two minute wait between shocks was the longest two minutes of my life.

"JACOB! Don't you dare! You promised me you'd always be here… you promised! JACOB!" Nessie went frantic, pitting her strength against mine as she struggled desperately to get down and go to him. I held her tightly.

"Let them work, stay here. Going to him won't help." I tried to soothe her, but my own fear was too much.

"NO! Oh, Rose. I've killed him… I've killed him… ROSALIE! LET ME GO!" she started screaming and biting me, fighting my grip. I had a dozen small bite marks healing on my arms when the defibrillator's mechanical voice finally announced that the shock could be delivered. Nessie froze on my lap and we watched Edward press the button, shuddering Jacob's body for the second time.

The sound of Jacob's heartbeat as it filled the room was amazing. Nessie dissolved into sobs. She wasn't the only one. I cried tearlessly into her hair as she clung to me. Leah was hunched up small, crying at the edge of the room. Esme sat near her, close but not too close. One hand stroking Leah's back, offering the only comfort and support she thought she'd be able to accept. I could see that Esme wanted to hug her and soothe away her pain, but Leah still kept herself at a distance and the fact she let Esme touch her at all showed the depth of her distress. Leah's father had had a heart attack, but he'd died, and now Leah had just seen Jacob go through the same thing.

_What a nightmare. What a completely fucked up nightmare of a day._

The next half an hour passed slowly as they struggled to stabilise Jacob enough to move him off of the floor. Nessie's eyes never left him for a moment, taking in every move that Carlisle and Edward made. I guessed she was another doctor in the making.

"I think that is all we can do now. He just needs time. His blood pressure is rising slowly now and his healing is beginning to kick in." These were the first words Carlisle had spoken during the whole frenzied episode. He'd not needed to voice anything as he'd worked beside Edward. These reassuring words were for us and I breathed deeply, knowing we were past the worst.

"Someone needs to stay close to him until he comes round. He's going to be very sick, lightheaded and weak for a while," Carlisle explained.

"I'll do it… I'll look after him." It was the least I could do. It felt wrong for someone else to nurse him through the next few hours, especially as it was my fault. Me and my damn principles.

Bella came to take Nessie and stopped short, staring at me. "Wow, Rosalie! Take a look at your eyes. They're amazing, they're silver!"

All heads snapped around to me.

"Cool, Babe! They're certainly something." Emmett grinned widely, and came over to kiss me, breaking the stares that had me pinned to the spot.

"Come on, come and see." He dragged me down the hall to the bathroom and stood me in front of the mirror. All of a sudden I was afraid to look. Worried I wouldn't look like me.

I raised my eyes and caught my breath. As Emmett had said, they were certainly something. Metallic grey with bright sliver highlights. They sparkled.

"Wow!" What else was there I could say?

By the time we returned the living room had been tidied. All evidence of the near death trauma was gone, and the gaping hole in the living room window had been taped over with plastic sheeting. I guessed we'd have to get someone in to fix that.

Jacob lay covered on the sofa, a single drip still in his arm. He still looked awful, but the blue had gone from around his lips, and he wasn't quite as pale. Nessie was lying on his chest, arms and legs wrapped around his body. She had a determined look in her eyes that seemed to say – "Don't you dare ask me to move." I didn't think anyone had the heart to move her anyway. Jacob and I were very close to her, and in the last hour she'd watched us both nearly die.

There was an empty bucket positioned by the bed. Its location directly below Jacob's head made its use immediately apparent. Bella was gently wiping his face and the bits of his chest she could reach around Nessie. He appeared to be shivering and sweating, its smell was sickly and off. The donated blood and saline were messing with his usual scent. I guessed I must smell a bit 'off' too after all the werewolf blood.

"Let me do that, Bella. Please. I need to do this for him." For a moment it looked like she wouldn't let me, but in the end she handed me the flannel and moved away.

"It's not your fault you know. It's not anyone's fault. We didn't know, and without that knowledge we couldn't have stopped it. No-one is going to be taking the blame for this; because if it happened all over again, we'd probably do exactly the same thing." Bella spoke to me, but the words were also for Nessie who pretended not to listen behind her back. She still blamed herself, when in fact she was one of the ones who saved him.

"Thank you, Bella. Deep down I know that, but it doesn't stop me feeling bad right now. I can't stop myself from thinking what would have happened _'If only I'd…'_ but it didn't happen, and I'll deal with it. The truth is, he saved my life, or if not that, then he saved me an awful lot of pain. If I can look after him now, then I'll feel a lot better about the whole thing." I didn't know if there was a message in there for Nessie too, but I tried to be honest, and that seemed to be the best thing to do.

She pulled me into a tight embrace. I could feel her shaking slightly. It had been a very intense afternoon, not one we could ever forget.

"You look astounding, Rosalie. You are positively glowing. Whatever is in his blood, it's done you a power of good, even if it has made you stink!" Her smile belied the gibe in the words, and I aimed a playful slap at her as she left the room.

I wiped Jacob's face again, and then sat down not far from his head. I listened to his breathing and the strained beat of his heart. I listened a long time, trying to detect an improvement in the sounds.

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	4. Chapter 4: Recompense

******Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

******Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language. ****Lemons - If you don't like, don't read.**

**Thank you to my Beta RedSummer.**

******This Chapter has also been beta'd by Project Team Betas – StoryPainter and ShowtunesJesus – and is now validated on Twilighted. Whoo Hoo!**

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**Jacob's POV**

Something tickled my nose. I tried to move, but a wave of nausea hit me. I rolled and threw up over the side of the sofa. Nessie hit the ground with a thump. She'd been curled up on my chest, and it was probably her hair that had been up my nose.

I opened my eyes but shut them again fast. The brightness was painful; it seared though my retinas.

A cool flannel wiped my face and mopped the sickly cold sweat from my body. I groaned as another wave of nausea hit me, but there was nothing left to throw up, and I ended up retching over a bucket. A cool hand soothed the back of my neck, and my head swam as I slumped back onto the sofa.

I didn't recognise the smell of the vampire next to me. Something was off about it. The cool flannel wiped over my face again, and I didn't care as I drifted off once more.

~o~

My throat was so dry it felt as if my tongue had doubled in size.

"Water…" I managed to mutter around the obstruction.

A straw was placed gently between my lips. "Just sip it."

I did as I was told and sipped. The relief was instant.

"Rosalie?" The voice had sounded like hers, but soft without all the sharp edges. The scent certainly didn't smell like her at all.

"Yes, Jacob?"

_Blimey, a new nice version of Rosalie, am I dead?_

"You smell… wrong."

_Why did I say that?_

She laughed a strong, happy laugh. "Yeah, blame that on the stinking carrion I had as my last meal."

_Ah, now that was more like the Rosalie I know._

"Not dead yet then?" I asked.

"Not yet, neither are you by the looks of it," she said, her voice soft again.

I opened my eyes. The light wasn't so painful now. I looked at Rosalie, but she wouldn't meet my gaze, staring at the ground instead. Her cheeks still had that slight flush of pink, and the scars had vanished completely.

"So, apart from the smell, are you back to normal now?" I asked

"Not quite…" she said hesitantly before looking up at me with sparkling silver grey eyes.

"Wow!" That was different. They changed her face and seemed to suit the new, softer Rosalie who was sitting at my side.

Carlisle came through the door with a gentle smile on his face. "Welcome back, Jacob. You had us scared for a while there."

"Had me scared, too." I tried to sit up, but my head swam again. Carlisle's cool hand held me down.

"Not yet, Jacob. You lost an awful lot of blood. Your heart is still working too hard. You're on a saline drip, and you are healing faster now, but you've got a way to go before you can sit up again."

"How long has it been?"

"Remarkably only three hours – it's about midnight. I wasn't expecting you to regain consciousness until tomorrow morning, even with your accelerated healing." His hands checked me over; temperature, pulse – as if he couldn't just hear it – and the cannula for the drip.

"Your body keeps healing over this and pushing it out, which doesn't help when we're trying to keep you hydrated"

"Damn awkward mutt," Rosalie muttered.

"Have you been here all the time?" I asked.

"Yes, I figured I owed you one for helping me. When you're up on your feet again, this truce will be over, and all bets are off." She tried to sound harsh but just couldn't seem to pull it off.

"Oh, I've got one for you. Have you heard this one?" I watched as the softness in her face seemed to harden just a little. "How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?"

She narrowed her new sparkling eyes at me. "There's someone who has been waiting to see you. I'll go and get her."

"Come on, have you?" As I spoke, she turned her back and walked away.

_Now that was more like it._

"Shine a flashlight in their ear." I laughed.

"Original, Mutt, really fucking original." She opened the door.

A small, bronze-haired missile launched herself across the room and landed on my chest. Her little arms and legs wrapped around me and her head tucked under my chin. She didn't say anything, she didn't need to. I drank in her scent and wrapped my arms around her body.

"Nessie…"

Her head popped up then, those startling chocolate brown eyes staring straight into mine.

"I love you too, Jacob." My heart melted.

She tucked her head under my chin again, and I closed my eyes, contented.

"Now, Nessie, Jacob has got to sleep. Sleep _lots_ if he's going to get well again." Carlisle's voice was stern.

"I know, Grandpa, I need to sleep too. Can I sleep with Jacob tonight?" I could hear the fatigue in her voice. It must have been a long day for her too.

"But –" he started. We both stared up at him. "Oh, okay. I can't stand puppy-dog eyes from both of you!"

"See you in the morning." He walked quietly out of the room and turned the lights off after him. I wrapped Nessie closer and drifted off to sleep.

~o~

I woke again just before dawn by the look of it. The edges of the sky were just beginning to lighten. I squirmed uncomfortably and then heard Nessie snuffle sleepily on my chest.

_Ah, damn!_

It was all well and good keeping me hydrated, but all that liquid had to go somewhere.

"Rosalie?" I whispered.

"Yes, Jacob?" She was still there, sitting quietly in the dark, right by my head. She was taking this pay-back thing seriously.

"I need to go to the bathroom."

"Okay."

A moment later, I felt Nessie gently lifted off my chest and heard the soft sounds of her being tucked into blankets on the other sofa.

"Come on; sit up really slowly this first time."

Rosalie's hands guided me up and held me securely as my head swam, but the feeling passed quicker this time. I went to stand and she pulled my arm around her shoulders, my head spun alarmingly and I staggered towards her. I was momentarily surprised she could hold my weight, and then I remembered she was a vampire that could probably pick me up and carry me like a baby.

_How on earth could I forget Rosalie was a vampire?_

After a moment, my head cleared, and I started towards the one room in this house that, to a vampire, was almost as useless as a kitchen.

Rosalie waited outside as I went in. "Don't lock it. I don't want to take the door off its hinges if you keel over in there."

I mumbled under my breath… this was going too far.

"Yes, nurse!" I answered sarcastically and heard a hearty laugh from the kitchen, probably Emmett.

"You can role play later if you want to. Once I've gone home!" I shot back. This resulted in more laughter from the kitchen and a snicker from outside the door. I wasn't far off the mark then. I really did _not_ want to be in the house when these two were going at it. I finished up and felt a whole lot more human than I had a couple of hours before.

Rosalie fell into step beside me, my supernatural minder, and I headed back to the living room. I collapsed back onto the sofa. The effort of the walk had drained me more than I could have imagined. Moments later, the warm weight of Nessie was put back in my arms, and I snuggled her close. I didn't hear Rosalie leave or sit down, but I guessed she wouldn't be far.

~o~

Nessie sneezed and woke me up with a start.

"Sorry, Jacob." She appeared to be wide awake and raring to go.

"What time is it?" I asked sleepily.

"Just before 1pm," Rosalie answered from her spot on the floor by the sofa.

"What?" I sat up fast, pulling Nessie into my lap for a tickle. She wriggled and squirmed under my onslaught, laughing loudly until she was gasping for breath.

"Feeling better then?" Rosalie peered at me with those disconcertingly gentle silver eyes.

"Hell yeah!" I answered back with one of Emmett's favourite phrases. "I think you have discharged your duty admirably and we are now even. Truce over and all bets are off. Thanks, Blondie!"

The smell of bacon, eggs, and pancakes hit me. My stomach grumbled and bizarrely, so did Rosalie's.

"Breakfast time for the werewolf?" she asked, cocking her head in the direction of the kitchen.

"Hell yeah!" I answered as I slung Nessie over my shoulder and headed off in search of breakfast.

Alice had, of course, seen Nessie's return, having got used to the haze that surrounded those visions. As we stepped through the door, the last of the plates were being laid at the table.

I sat Nessie on her chair next to me, and, surprisingly, Rosalie sat on the other side. Normally, she couldn't stand the smell of 'human food' and stayed at the back of the kitchen if she came in at all. Before I could think about that any further, Alice came around the table and started in on me, smacking my shoulders and clipping me round the back of my head.

"OF ALL THE STUPID ASS IDEAS YOU COULD HAVE COME UP WITH! You scared the hell out of me. All of a sudden half my family disappears from my visions, blank spots and haze over the rest of us. Whatever you have done has changed the future IRRECOVERABLY. And that's not even including the fact that you nearly died, YOU FOUL STINKING WEREWOLF!"

I ducked under her blows and ran away from the table. She followed me, still raining slaps around my body, now unable to reach my head.

"Rosalie has VANISHED completely. Last night, I thought that meant she HAD DIED. How could you do that to me?"

The blows stopped. Alice was wild eyed and panting, hands on hips, obviously expecting an answer. She wasn't going to get one. There wasn't really one to give. I picked her up, gave her the tightest squeeze I could manage, kissed her squarely on the lips, and set her back down before she could hit me again.

"I love you too, Alice. Now, please can I have breakfast? I'm starving, and it would be a shame for it to go to waste." The look on her face was priceless; the one on Jasper's was pretty special too.

Nessie had loaded up a plate with all my favourites, and I tucked in with relish. Nessie had some egg and a bit of bacon – she could eat 'human food' but preferred the vampire diet. I thought she was just glad we were all here together, whole and healthy. Next to me, Rosalie's stomach grumbled again. She looked uncomfortable and confused.

"Werewolf blood getting the better of you there? Fancy some breakfast?" I asked.

I jokingly held up a fork full of bacon for her. She looked at it briefly then leant forward and took the whole lot in her mouth. She chewed carefully, swallowed, then grabbed the fork out my hand and started helping herself to more.

Nessie had stopped with a fork full of egg halfway to her mouth. Everyone else was stunned into silence. Esme recovered first; she simply reached into the cutlery draw and handed me a new fork. I speared the last bit of bacon, and Rosalie actually hissed at me.

"Would you like me to cook some more?" Esme asked hesitantly.

Rosalie came back to herself and looked embarrassed. Everyone in the room was gawping at her. I swear she almost blushed.

"Umm… I'm good, thanks." She left the table and went to her room. Emmett followed straight after but not without some trepidation. The new Rosalie was a whole different animal and nobody knew what to expect anymore.

Carlisle's mouth snapped shut, and he gave me a very calculating stare.

"Jacob," he started hesitantly. "Would you mind if I took a much closer look at your blood? There is a lot going on here that is totally beyond my experience."

"Err… how about tomorrow? I've only just got this lot back." I needed to think about this.

"Of course! Sorry, Jacob."

We sat in silence while I finished up my breakfast.

"Would you stay and play this afternoon please, Jake?" Nessie asked tentatively. I thought she had been more than a bit shaken up by the past day. I knew I had.

"Sure thing, Nessie. What do you have in mind?" Her favourite was usually running through the trees or hunting, but I didn't think she'd want to do that for a while.

"Games in the house? Chess or something. Maybe one of Emmett's games?" No surprise there then.

"Sure thing pip-squeak!" Emmett called down the stairs, "You choose and set it up. I'll whip your ass!"

Nessie grinned and hopped off her chair. She held out her hand for me. "Coming?"

In the end, Emmett won one game, lost one on purpose, which wound Nessie up no end, and was then soundly thrashed two times in a row. I watched Emmett's discomfort with delight – he wouldn't do that again in a hurry. Jasper and Rosalie ribbed him mercilessly about being beaten by the Pip-squeak as he'd called her earlier. It was good to hear laughter in the house again.

Rosalie looked tired for some reason. Emmett scooped her up in his arms and with a cheery, "Goodnight!" headed up the stairs. If ever there was a cue to leave that was it, but, for some reason, we all stayed chatting quietly until Nessie finally fell asleep on my lap. I handed her back to Bella, slightly reluctant to let her go.

"We need to head off now. She needs to sleep in her own bed tonight," Edward said quietly. He rose to say goodnight to the others, then held his arms out for Nessie. Jasper caught hold of Alice's hand and stood to leave too. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked at us self-consciously.

"It's best to warn you that after nearly losing Alice yesterday, I'm…" He looked down, shy all of a sudden "…not going to be holding back. You might want to leave the house, sooner rather than later." With that, they too disappeared up the stairs, with Alice grinning widely.

Edward grabbed Bella's hand and started off to their cottage immediately. He muttered something about getting Nessie out of the house as soon as possible.

_What the hell was going on?_

Carlisle and Esme snuggled down on the sofa seeming amused. I just looked at Leah, bemused.

"Perhaps I should explain," began Carlisle, obviously seeing we didn't have a clue. "When Alice and Jasper first joined us, we had a few problems when they spent time together… as a couple."

Esme leaned forward and whispered, "he means having sex."

"You know that Jasper can project the emotions and feelings that he and others close to him are having. But, sometimes, he can project them further and more powerfully than intended, especially if he's distracted and not holding back."

"If you get caught unexpectedly, it can take your knees out from under you," Esme added, obviously speaking from experience. Carlisle took her hand and led her quickly to the stairs.

A wave of love with a hint of lust washed over me. Realisation hit hard.

"RUN!" I shouted to Leah.

~o~

**Rosalie's POV**

Something in Jacob's blood had shaken me up; I wasn't quite the same as 'normal'. Not that I imagined anyone could feel normal after the day and a half we'd had. It was good to see Jacob well again. I knew why he'd let me have his blood, not for me, but for Nessie. Seeing her so distraught, thinking that she'd killed him, had hurt me deeply. I knew that feeling; I thought I'd killed him, too. I guessed that meant I'd do anything for her as well, even if it had been nursing the stinking mutt back to health.

_Who was I kidding? That was for me. I actually cared for the stupid dog now. No question._

I felt amazing, even more alive than before our little incident with Maria. Outwardly, the eye colour was the most obvious; it had certainly given everyone a turn when they'd noticed. The breakfast thing creeped me out a bit, too. What was with the human food? But, at the time, it smelt amazing, and I really wanted to have some. I guess I'd deal with the consequences later, and I really did not want to think about that!

I was more relaxed by the evening, not as conscious of being watched constantly, as if to see what else was different. Although nursing Jacob had formed a new affinity between us, we still took every opportunity to have a dig at each other. He'd even managed to come up with a blonde joke I hadn't heard, so I'd have to try harder to find a suitable put down for the mutt. Jasper was most aware of the changed feelings between us, but, as a true southern gentleman, I knew he wouldn't say anything.

I snuggled against Emmett, but was starting to feel very heavy for some reason. More werewolf influence probably.

"Bedtime, Babe," he whispered in my ear and scooped me into his arms. With a cheery, "Goodnight!" he headed up to our room, shut the door quietly behind him and laid me gently on the bed. Emmett shuffled round to lie beside me, gathered me in his arms and held me tight.

"I never – _ever_ – want to go through that again. You mean too much to me. I couldn't begin to know how to live without you. I really don't think I could." Emmett's face was pained, trying to express in words the emotions he normally displayed more physically.

"I love you, Rosalie. I love you so much."

He kissed me deeply, intensely, but without the wild frantic urgency that usually accompanied his expressions of affection. I melted in his arms and let myself get washed away by the feelings of being so profoundly loved. He undid his shirt, the one I was still wearing, slowly and carefully, button by button. He traced his hands down my body with infinite care and exquisite gentleness. He barely grazed the skin under my breasts with his fingers before kissing lightly along the very same path and sending quivers through my body. I arched into him, uttering a soft moan.

He had somehow lost his shirt in the intervening moments. He crushed me to his naked chest and smothered my neck and throat with small gentle kisses. The gossamer touches drove me wild. I reached to undo his jeans, but he pushed my hands away.

"I want to do it all tonight." His voice was quiet and gruff with emotion, almost a growl. I gave in as he kissed his way down my body and carefully shimmied my jeans down my legs.

The new slow and gentle version of Emmett was intoxicating. His feather-light touches and barely there kisses made my body hum with anticipation. I shuddered with the electricity of each touch as he worked his way up my legs. After the longest time, he finally reached my core and gently, so slowly it was almost painful, he pushed two fingers into me. I bucked against him, moaning into his chest as he slowly pulled them out again. He continued slowly working me, curling his fingers inside me, creating sensations that drove me wild, begging and frantic in my need for him.

"Please, Emmett. Oh God, please! I can't bear this any longer. I need you!"

He moved over me, supporting his weight on his arms as he kissed my face, my neck, my hair. Finally he pushed into me, slowly again, each small movement magnifying the intensity of what I was feeling until I could have wept I was so tightly wound. Two more excruciatingly slow thrusts and I was gasping for unneeded breath.

_Oh, you have to be kidding… this couldn't possibly get more intense._

He pulled my thigh up high on his body and changed his angle just enough. Gasping and moaning, I was at his mercy. He pushed deep inside, holding me close. He thrust deeper again and again, not breaking contact with my oversensitive bundle of nerves, merely rocking against me as he drove me closer and closer to the edge I so desperately craved.

I flung my head back and growled from deep in my chest as his gentle control slipped and his trusts became wilder. I came undone, wrapping myself so tightly round his body that he could feel every shudder, every spasm of my release. He plunged hard into me as he came with his own deep growl and pulled me so hard against his body it was as if we could become one.

We lay on the barely rumpled bed, panting in each other's arms. The gentle lovemaking, and comparatively quiet climax, was so out of character – a product of the trauma we'd been through, and a reflection of our deepest feelings for each other.

I listened to Emmett's breathing, to the sounds in the house; the gentle closing of Alice and Jasper's door, the voices in the living room. I felt a gentle wave of love and lust wash over us and heard Jacob's startled warning. Emmett lifted his head and smirked at me as the front door slammed and the sound of running feet changed to paws as they neared the forest.

"I wonder if they make it in time? Because I think we're in for the ride of our lives!" I smiled at his words. It had been a while since Jasper had really let his hair down, so to speak, and even the memory of it made my toes curl in anticipation.

"I think I can handle it," I replied.

The wall of emotion took my breath away. Love, arousal, exquisite pleasure. Emmett grew hard inside me and his growl took on a slightly animalistic edge. Desperate need, and amplified animalistic desire, slammed back through us as I arched my back and dug my nails into Emmett's shoulders.

The distinct sound of smashing furniture came from down the hall followed by a deep growl.

"Ah… Ohhh… ESME!"

Unfortunately, even two sets of soundproofed walls didn't do much in the face of vampire hearing. How the tables had turned.

The sound of more smashing furniture came from the other end of the hall.

"It's going to be like that then is it?" Emmett's eyes were dark with desire. I couldn't have cared less if the house was demolished around us as overpowering arousal and intense lust washed through the room.

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	5. Chapter 5: Overpowered

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. All mistakes are mine. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language. Lemons - If you don't like, don't read.**

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta RedSummer who has corralled my commas, eliminated my ellipsis and taught me how to punctuate speech. Thank you :o)**

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Leah's POV

We made it out of the house and phased on the fly. We ran into the forest and headed for the most direct route back home. I pushed my speed as we raced through the trees and away from the house, and Jacob actually kept up with me for once. I leapt over a fallen tree and was hit by such a powerful wave of love, arousal, and exquisite pleasure that my knees literally collapsed under me – and when you had four legs that meant you went down _hard_. I tumbled twice over and found myself human, naked and trembling as more waves of emotion swept over me. Desperate need, animalistic desire. I rolled onto my back and moaned. I couldn't help myself.

I looked back to see Jacob as he picked himself out of the dirt, he'd obviously been hit as hard as I had and been hurled back into human form too.

_Oh my God, what a human form it was!_

He looked stunning naked, and was seriously aroused. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I licked my lips, the intense desire made my mouth dry. I met his eyes then as they finished their rake up my naked body, dark and intense with just a hint of confusion. He hadn't shown any desire for me up until that point; we'd only recently managed to achieve cordiality. However, under Jasper's influence, he had the hard-on of all hard ons, and didn't really know what to do about it. Oh, the irony!

Overpowering arousal and intense lust hit us. I didn't stand a chance. I threw myself towards him and caught him in my arms, attacking his lips, kissing him deeply as he kissed hard in return. The borrowed sentiments coursed though us. I couldn't get enough of his body. I ran my hands down Jacob's back and dug my nails into the back of his thighs. He crushed my body into his and trapped his impressive erection between us. My own arousal was intense, I was so desperate to be touched that I could have exploded.

I hitched my leg over his hip and pulled him closer, unintentionally tripping us to the ground. Jacob landed on top of me, so close to where I needed him to be. I moaned and arched my body into his. He ducked his head and took my nipple into his mouth as he sucked and nibbled it with his lips.

"Oh, God. JACOB!"

He ran his hand down my side causing ripples of pleasure to rock through my body. I opened my legs wide for him, begging for his touch as he ran his fingers tentatively over my folds, before slipping one finger into me. An animalist howl of pleasure tore from my throat and he pushed into me again.

"More – I need more!"

He slid a second finger inside me and I almost lost it right there. As he pumped his fingers into my core the pleasure was intense, coiling around me as I thrust onto him to deepen the sensation.

"Oh… Jacob… Oh, Jacob… FUCK!" I screamed out my orgasm, riding his fingers and clinging to his body for dear life.

I reached down to grab Jacob's erection in my hands, rubbing along its velvet length. He groaned with pleasure against my chest and I felt his back arch to push himself further into my grasp. I couldn't bear it any longer. I pushed him onto his back and straddled him, lifting myself up and impaling myself on him.

_Oh, that felt so good, it had been far too long._

Jacob's head was thrown back in ecstasy as a deep moan escaped his lips. His hands grabbed my hips as he pulled me down harder. I lifted myself up almost to his tip and slammed back down again. It was too much for him, he flipped me in a heartbeat and pinned me to the ground. His hands moved up my back to hold my shoulders as he thrust hard into me again and again and again. He moaned his pleasure against my neck. The intensity in the air held us, just prevented us from peaking as we desperately ground into each other. The release when it eventually came rolled over us in powerful waves. I screamed out Jacob's name.

We were gasping and sweaty, our bodies slick with it. There seemed to be a lull in the emotional onslaught, just a pleasant post-coital buzz. I looked into his eyes and felt suddenly awkward; I could still feel him inside me. This was not something either of us had planned on doing, _ever_. He pushed away gently as he pulled out of me, sitting back on his heels and putting his hands over his face, rubbing it, as if trying to figure out the situation. I felt suddenly empty, and very exposed. I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest.

"What the hell just happened?" Jacob's voice was rough and low, as if the raw passion had not quite left his system.

Mine was no better, I could hardly get the words out. "I think Jasper happened."

"No shit…"

"Sorry, Jacob."

"Yeah, well. It's not as if we had much choice – I've never felt anything as intense as that before."

"What, never?"

_Shit, shit, shit! Oh no, please he didn't just say that? I damn near raped him and it was his first time! Oh my God, I know werewolves mature fast, but – was he even legal?_

"Leah," he sighed and looked lost for words. "Let's just go, OK."

He stood and held out his hand to pull me up; I took it and stood shakily, keeping a tight hold. He looked at me as quizzically.

"What? My legs are still shaky. You don't want me to fall over and knock you on your ass again do you?"

Then it hit us again, less animalistic but still a potent combination of deep arousal, yearning, and desire. My legs collapsed. Jacob caught me. Bad move.

"Oh my –" I managed to croak out.

"Shit, Jasper. Give us a chance!" he pleaded.

Hunger, yearning, exquisite pleasure again, but different somehow – deeper but more manageable. Jacob crumpled and brought us both to the ground, his head fell back with a deep groan, his back arched and he pushed his iron hard erection into my chest. Maybe the pleasure was a little more focused on a different piece of anatomy this time. I smiled and thought I knew just how to repay Jacob for my deplorable lack of control the last time. I slid down his body and knelt over him, ducking my head to run my tongue up the length of his shaft.

"Uunnngh, Leah!" he moaned. I circled his head with my tongue and pulled just the tip of him into my mouth.

"OH FUCK, LEAH!" He didn't know what to do with himself.

His hands grasped at the ground trying to find something to hold onto as more waves of uncontrollable pleasure, with just a hint of smug satisfaction, washed through us. I took him in as far as I could go; my hands worked what my mouth could not. Then I pulled up again and sucked, twirling my tongue around him. Fingers of one hand snaked into my hair caressing the nape of my neck as he followed my movements, not trying to control me. I hummed in pleasure which caused more deep moans from Jacob.

I cupped his sack in my hand, it was so tight his balls were drawn up right against his body. I squeezed gently, fondling them, and rubbed just behind them where I could feel the very root of his erection. Both hands flew to my hair; deep feral groans escaped him with every breath. He started to thrust against me as his arousal climbed.

Suddenly those hands grabbed me under my arms and slid me over his sweat soaked body until he could reach my hips. He slammed into me as I pushed back onto him. My hands grasped at his well honed biceps for balance as his powerful thrusts lifted me off the ground. The pleasure swept through me, never ending, it just built and built. He rolled over on top of me and wrapped his arms around my back, pulling me tight to him as he rose to his knees. I sat astride his lap, and as he began thrusting again I leant back, safe in his embrace, until my head and shoulders were nearly on the ground again. The change of angle did new and powerful things to my body. I screamed out my pleasure as the release finally enfolded us.

Jacob pulled me upright and held me close to his chest, then he collapsed backwards onto the ground as his body shuddered with the aftershocks. "Leah! Oh God, Leah."

Words defied me too, but some small hint of sanity in the back of my mind made me realise we _had_ to get moving. I pulled away and stood slowly.

"Come on, we've got to get a move on." I held out my hand to Jacob.

"I can't… I don't think I can stand yet," he said as he sat up. His head hung forward as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Trust me, Jacob. You need to. I've got a theory about this."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, vampires don't need to sleep." I held out my hand again and this time he took it, making it as far as his knees.

"Uhh, so?"

"They don't get tired either." I pulled him to his feet and he held my shoulders to steady himself.

"Uh-oh, I think I can see where this is going."

"And I think there's still about six hours until morning."

"Oh, fuck! Can you phase yet?"

With immense effort I shivered into wolf form and dropped onto four slightly shaky legs. I was immediately assaulted by Embry's mental shout.

"_Thank Christ, Leah! At last! Where have you been? The last we saw you were running like hell from the Cullen house – What the hell is going on? Is everyone alright? Where's Jacob?"_

_Geeze, guys! Give me a chance! Everyone is fine, no one is hurt, and nothing bad is going on. Jacob's fine – He's trying to phase back now._

I watched as he shivered into wolf form, I felt him in my mind, that Alpha vibe.

"_TRYING! When's the last time he had to TRY and phase? What the hell is going on? You've been gone two hours!"_ Quil shot back

_Two hours! That explained the shakes then._

"_WHAT?"_ From both Quil and Embry.

"_I'll explain, but not right now – we've got to run," _Jacob replied. He nudged my shoulder pushing me into a sprint. I pushed it as hard as I could on weak legs.

"_You know about Jasper's gift? His power as a vampire?"_ Jacob asked the others.

"_Sure! Mood control. He can pick up the moods and feelings around him and also send them back out to the people nearby. We've all felt it before when he's used it to calm us,"_ replied Seth.

"_Yes, but it is actually a lot more powerful than we thought. He's normally got it tight under control, but tonight he hasn't, and we didn't get away in time."_ Jacob was carefully counting his footsteps. I joined in and counted my own. There were some things I never wanted Seth to see.

Quil and Embry laughed in our minds. _"What _are_ you hiding? It can't be that bad?"_

"_Yeah, what don't want me to see?" _Seth asked

It hit us again then, but swept, via us, straight though the whole pack mind. Passion, desire, intense lust. Seth vanished.

"_Oh, Christ! What the hell was that? Seth looks like he's just been gut punched." _Embry's mental voice shook slightly, as if he'd only just managed to stay wolf.

_That was Jasper. _I answered them as I stopped running; I had no wish to face-plant on the ground again.

"_That was mild, he hasn't let rip… yet." _Jacob added as he stopped beside me.

Then Jasper let rip. Desperate animal need, lust, intense arousal.

"_What the –"_ Shocked understanding registered in Quil and Embry's minds. Boy was I glad Seth had phased.

I tried to pull myself under control, but my back legs went from under me.

_Shit… can't phase!_

"_**Phase back guys!**__ This ain't going to be pretty."_ Jacob actually used his Alpha voice, but I thought they'd still got the glimpse of naked flesh that shot through his mind before they went.

I writhed on the ground and stuck my haunches and tail up in the air, whining.

_Ah fuck, what now? It was hard enough as a human without the damn wolf instincts kicking in too._

"_Oh shit, Leah. You smell fucking amazing!"_

Jacob growled a deep rumble and the lust seemed to intensify, duplicated and multiplied by the pack mind thing.

"_FUCK-IT! Wanna do it doggy style?"_

_Oh, GOD. Bring it ON!_

He mounted me and bit my shoulder, sounds of deep pleasure rumbled in his chest.

"_Oh my God, oh yeah… I need you so bad… shit, you certainly know how to break a guy in… oh geeze that smell is driving me wild… how the hell do we do this… God I need to be inside you… Oh fuck, OH FUCK, ARGHH…Thank Christ Jasper's got a handle on this otherwise I think I might have just lost my shit altogether… Fuck, that's so good!"_

His paws were over my hips, pumping into me, more desire and passion slammed into us.

_Pack Mind, Jake. Pack Mind! _

I reminded him, he rumbled again and bit my shoulder a little harder

"_Like I can help it! You ain't so quiet yourself."_

I growled in pleasure, he had a point.

_Oh, yeah. Deeper, I need you deeper…. Uunnngh… YES! Right there, keep hitting me right THERE… OH GOD! So fucking sexy… That feels so good… Oh yeah, here it comes… Faster, harder, please… Oh, God! Please let me come! I'm dying here… More, I need more… FUCK, JACOB!_

We were howling, literally howling, when the release eventually hit us, surging through our bodies and our minds with such intensity. We experienced first hand each other's orgasms, shared in the pack mind, there's no way you could even attempt to hide or block that.

Panting, Jacob tried to lift himself from my back. He managed to get one front paw down, but he couldn't withdraw.

"_What the fuck?" _

He pulled harder, and I felt him clamped tight inside me, the tension uncomfortable.

_Careful, Jake!_

He twisted and somehow managed to get all four paws down.

"_OW shit! Now what? Don't move, Leah. You'll pull the damn thing right off!"_

_Oh, great! It's a Wolf thing. Jake. They stay – coupled – after mating._

Just what we needed, we need to run before Jasper started up again. I didn't think could survive any more.

"_Phase back! Do you think that would work?"_

_Worth a go – after all, what have we got to lose?_

"_It's what I've got to lose that's concerning me!"_

_Shit, we can't be any worse off – I'm phasing back._

For just an instant it felt really weird, Jake had phased a moment after me. But being – disconnected – meant that we could phase and run for it again, and boy did I run.

I saw Jacob's house through the trees at last. We went right up to his window before phasing back. Jacob opened the window and hopped through it. He rummaged though his clothes and found a t-shirt for me and shorts for himself. He sat on his bed, head hanging with exhaustion. I was dead on my feet. The thought of running home was beyond me. I rested my head on the side of the house and struggled to find the will to move.

"Come on, sleep here. I don't think there is actually anything left for us to be embarrassed about."

He reached out the window and pulled me inside. I fell on top of him on the tiny bed. As I sprawled across his chest, one arm draped across my back, the other rested on my thigh. He was asleep within minutes. I lay awake longer.

_Shit, why do I always pick the ones that imprint? Was I such a sucker for punishment?_

I shut my eyes and breathed in his scent. This would be the last time we ever got this close if I could help it.

**Emmett's POV**

We lay in the dishevelled remains of our bed. I cradled Rosalie in my arms, her head resting on my chest. By the sounds of it Jasper was going to have to fork out for three new beds, but I didn't think he'd be at all repentant. I had forgotten how intense he could be – not that vampires could forget, I just hadn't bothered remembering for a while.

There were gentler emotions swirling around the room now, an interlude of tenderness maybe, before the passion kicked in again. I kissed Rosalie's forehead, I had enjoyed our gentle lovemaking earlier and thought that some more would be a pleasant way to pass the night.

"Mmmm, Em… can I just snuggle for a bit?" Her voice was warm and heavy, still so damn sexy after our recent ecstasy.

"Sure, Babe." I pulled her closer and revelled in the thoughts of how lucky I was to still have her with me. Rosalie's breath was gentle and rhythmic against me, relaxed. I tried not to listen to the other sounds in the house, but obviously the others had had the same idea as me. That was a turn about, the others at it when we weren't! I had a sudden urge to look into Rosalie's disconcerting silver eyes and see the love sparkle in them.

"Rose?"

"Rosalie?"

Fear fluttered around the edges of my mind. I sat up to look at her. Her cheeks still had that just fed glow, her breath was soft and the scars were still hidden. I moved her from my arms and she flopped limply onto the covers.

Right, now I was scared.

My breath stuttered and I leapt to the door nearly taking it off its hinges in my haste to get to Carlisle. I didn't care what they were doing in there, I had to speak to him immediately. Esme, however, would mind if I just charged in and I managed to stop long enough to knock.

"Carlisle? Carlisle! I need to talk to you now!" Even I heard the panic in my voice.

Alice's hand brushed my back, and Jasper soothed me. He must have felt my panic and they came immediately. That meant something to me considering what they had been doing moments before. Carlisle's door opened and both he and Esme joined us in the hall. Esme and Alice were wrapped only in sheets, they'd not even taken the time to dress.

"It's Rose, she's gone all floppy and isn't answering when I call." It sounded lame, but I was really frightened.

"Let's have a look at her."

I rushed back to our room and crouched beside Rosalie, Carlisle on her other side, the others waited at the door. Vampires didn't need doctors, we didn't get sick. The only possible damage was physical and visible. What on earth could he do? He couldn't take her temperature or check her pulse, the usual starting points for humans. Carlisle gently ran his hands over Rosalie's body, checking the recent scars and joints for signs they were returning, he felt the limpness of her limbs. She was the picture of vampire health except that she wasn't conscious.

"Rosalie!" he called firmly, loudly.

She started, gasped, stirred, rolled onto her side and settled again, her breathing softened. Carlisle gently took the covers and pulled them over her, tucking them around her as if he were putting Nessie to bed.

Carlisle looked at me stunned. "She's asleep."

This simple statement rocked me, I felt relief and confusion. "How?"

"I don't know. Jacob's blood? The eyes, the food, and now sleeping?" He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair, a gesture so like Edward that they could really have been father and son. "I need to study this, study his blood."

He joined the others at the door. "There's nothing we can do until she wakes up, or until Jacob comes back."

Suddenly I was really, _really_ keen to see Jacob jog across the lawn. "When is he going to be back?"

Alice searched, her gaze glazed over. "It's not looking like he'll be here before the afternoon. I can't see him so I don't know for sure, but it's looking rather like he didn't make it far enough in time." she turned and hit Jasper.

"Shit, poor kid. I wouldn't have wanted to ride that one out alone!" I laughed despite the seriousness of the situation.

"He wasn't," Alice replied acidly, staring harshly at Jasper.

"Oh, Jasper! Shot yourself in the foot there haven't you! It's going to be a _real_ nice emotional atmosphere around those two now." I was stating the obvious, but hey, that's my job.

I looked at Rosalie, sleeping, and suddenly I got why Edward had spent so much time watching Bella sleep.

"See you guys in the morning," I said pointedly and they took the hint and shut the door behind them.

I slid under the covers next to my very own sleeping beauty. I longed to kiss her awake like the prince always gets to in the stories, but for the first time in nearly eighty years she needed to sleep. All tension had been wiped from her face and a gentle smile spread across her lips. She was dreaming, actually dreaming. I propped myself on my elbow and watched her eyes flickering under her lids. I wished I could see what she was seeing.

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Thank you for reading - Please Review :o)


	6. Chapter 6: Awkward

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. All mistakes are mine. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta RedSummer :o)**

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Leah's POV

I woke up with a massive erection in my stomach. "Good morning to you too, Jake," I whispered in his ear, and then I pushed myself up to sit straddling his thighs. His arousal was straining against his shorts.

"Yeah, sorry. It's a morning thing. Can't blame Jasper this time." He shot me a knowing look. "And I've actually got something to base my imagination upon now."

He certainly had. I couldn't help but smile at the memories. There's no way I'd be able to run with the pack until I'd locked those images away nice and tight. Mentally I kicked myself for breaking the promises I made only hours ago, then I reached out and ran one finger up his length, it surged invitingly under my touch.

That was the moment the door opened and Billy rolled in. I snatched my hand back and Jacob grabbed the covers to hide his erection. Billy's eyes went wide and in his haste to retreat he caught his wheel on the door frame and fumbled the door. Jacob was wrong about there not being anything left between us to be embarrassed about. I quickly slipped off his lap and sat on the side of his bed, my head in my hands. Could it actually get any worse?

"The joys of being a teenager still living at home." He tried to make light of it, but I was mortified.

"A word, Jacob." Billy's voice cut through the quiet from the kitchen.

"Sorry, Jake." I hoped he didn't go too hard on him. I wondered how much Jacob would say.

Jacob stood and re-arranged himself in his shorts. I guessed your Dad coming in certainly sorted out problems like that, and fast. He walked to the door and stopped with his hand on the handle.

"I'm going up to the house later. You don't have to be there if you don't want to be. I'll catch up with you in a while." He looked at me, and then slipped out the door. There's no code of etiquette for the morning after accidently fucking your friend's brains out repeatedly. I buried my head in my hands and groaned.

"Jacob." I heard Billy's deep voice through the thin walls, he didn't sound angry at least. Maybe Jake would escape with his hide still intact. "What the hell is going on?" I'd lost count of the number of times I'd heard variations of that one asked in the last twenty four hours.

"Embry came round last night looking for you. He was in a right state. Said he'd last seen you legging it from the Cullen place like your tail was on fire. Then you vanished out the pack mind." I heard a deep sigh. "I don't hear you come back until the small hours of the morning. Then I find you damn near … with Leah." He couldn't say the word.

The sound of a fist hitting the table. "Damnit, Jacob. You've _imprinted_. You know what happened with Sam. You can't do this to her again and that's not even considering the fact that you're sixteen. You're still a kid for Christ's sake! Shit, in some states that would be statutory rape!" The sound of tyres squeaked across the kitchen floor. "I need some answers."

"We all do, Dad. It's been a really fucked up day. I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you."

"Try me." His voice was almost a growl.

"Where would you like me start? Where Rosalie gets ripped apart by a maniac of a vampire and two newborns? Or where we rip them to sheds in retaliation? How about the hours it took to put Rosalie back together? Or where she nearly falls apart again?" I could hear Jacob pacing. He wasn't pulling any punches.

"No. It really starts where I offer my blood to heal Rosalie, only to nearly die as we're not immune when we're human. Then, once I'm fully back to health I have to make a run for it as the damn empath was feeling horny and needed to release some pent up anxiety. He flattened a half mile radius and we didn't make it in time." He flung himself back down in a chair again by the sound of it.

"So the fact that Leah fell asleep in my bed last night is damn near inconsequential compared to the day we've just had."

"No, Dad… I would never intentionally hurt Leah. I know she's your best friend's daughter, but even without that, we've only just managed to be 'kind of' friends and I don't want that to change. She feels as awkward about this as I do."

There was a very long silence. I dared not move. I wasn't sure I wanted Billy to know I was listening in. Jacob would find out soon enough, I was no good at hiding things from him.

"Um, OK. How about we start with the 'you offered her your blood' bit, and work our way forward from there? Why on earth would you do such a thing?" Billy was holding it together remarkably well. He was expecting a horny teenager discussion, and instead he'd got Armageddon.

"Nessie loves her," Jacob said. Really that was all the answer he'd needed to give, damn imprinted moron.

"It was killing her to see Rosalie dying because she wouldn't drink donated human blood. I thought it would be OK."

"But it wasn't?"

"It seems we're only immune when we've phased, when we're wolves. The venom from her bite started attacking me and it needed to be sucked out, like a snake's. Only I didn't have an awful lot of blood left by then. Carlisle had his work cut out keeping me alive long enough for the healing to regenerate my blood. Rosalie didn't leave my side for a second, she nursed me though it all."

"I guess it worked then."

"Like magic! Nessie was so relieved, but seriously pissed off with me for nearly dying!" Billy laughed, a short bark of a laugh that meant it really wasn't funny, but what else could you do.

"Carlisle wants to have a closer look at my blood. He's intrigued by the differences between being wolf or human." The chair scraped as he got up. "I'm going to have a shower now."

"Hang on. What about the thing with the empath?" I cringed at Billy's question. "Is that going to be a problem for us?"

"No, Dad. I'm not going to make it a problem. Jasper did warn us, I just didn't appreciate the warning for what it was and didn't run in time. Jasper would never knowingly unleash that on anyone who didn't choose to be there." Interesting side-step there, Jacob.

"Unleash what?" Oh God, Billy. Why did you have to ask that?

"Can I not answer that one?"

"No, Jacob. Harry's gone now. He's been my friend for a very long time. We're all looking out for his family now. I do not want them, any of them, hurt. Please don't make me ask outright."

He knew what had been unleashed. Maybe Embry had slip. I felt humbled, he was protecting my honour! If only he knew how fucked up my insides were. He wouldn't have to worry.

"Dad," Jacob pleaded.

"Did you? Yes or no?" Billy was firm, Jacob would have to answer.

"YES, OK! Are you happy now? Yes, and YES, and YES, until I couldn't fucking walk anymore!"

Too much information, Jacob! Shit, that's your dad you're talking to.

"OK, ok! Did you take precautions?"

"No, it wasn't intentional, not something we ever in a million years planned on."

"Shit, Jake, what if –"

"'What if' nothing, Dad. She can't – it's the wolf thing"

Ok, so now he knew.

"Oh…"

Yeah, Oh. Poor Leah. Don't you dare look at me with pity next time Billy Black.

"Can I have my shower now?"

"Sure, sure."

I slipped out the window and made my way home. I was absolutely no clearer as to what Jacob actually felt about all this. Hell, I wasn't sure what I felt. I just knew that I really, really, needed to have sex that intense again. What must it be like to be a vampire and not need sleep and not get tired? Why would they ever want to stop? I guess that finally explained Rosalie and Emmett then.

**Emmett's POV**

The darkness in the sky had eventually lightened, but Rosalie slept on. I couldn't get enough of her. I watched her as the morning passed us by. Occasionally she'd murmur and shuffle, until her hair was spread across the covers in a fan of gold. She was breathtaking. This was a new lesson in restraint; I wanted so badly to kiss her. Eventually her breathing changed and she became a little restless. She stretched her arms above her head and arched her back. My restraint failed and I kissed her awake.

"Good afternoon, Sleeping Beauty. Did you know that you are almost irresistible when you're asleep?"

"Mmmm… what did you say?" her voice was husky with sleep.

"I said, I like watching you sleep." Her eyes flickered open and locked on mine. The sliver caught me by surprise again.

"What?" Shock registered briefly in her face. "Does that explain why I feel so good right now?" she stretched again.

"Feel so good? I wouldn't know. Look so good? Hell yeah! You are _so_ sexy, you can carry on sleeping at night for as long as you like." I pulled her close to me, pressing her against my body.

"Sexier than me awake?" she asked, a teasing smile on her lips.

"Never, but close – beaten only by you just as you're waking up." I bent and kissed her deeply.

Someone knocked hard on the door. "Cut it out in there! Carlisle wants to talk to you. Get your ass downstairs," Jasper called.

_Bastard…_

Rosalie's stomach grumbled at the smell of bacon wafting up the stairs. I laughed. If yesterday was anything to go by I didn't stand a chance against bacon.

"Come on then. Breakfast time for the –" She kissed me suddenly then and flitted away to get dressed and head downstairs. For the vampire? Breakfast for the vampire and the hybrid? Hell, maybe they were both hybrids right now, they seemed so much alike. It was amazing how much your world could be rocked in just a couple of days.

When I came downstairs I saw Jasper sitting alone in the living room looking very uncomfortable.

"Jacob's back then?" I asked, but it was obvious that there was one hell of an atmosphere that he was picking up. "It's your own fault!" I laughed.

As I walked into the kitchen I realised it wasn't just Jasper, everyone was feeling the discomfort. Right, this was my forte. Let's break this and see if I could get Jacob to laugh. Subtle as sledgehammer I could be. Thankfully Nessie wasn't there so I could be as crude as I liked.

"Morning, Jacob. Pleasurable evening, perchance? Jasper's certainly something isn't he?" Alice cringed, Jacob looked embarrassed, and Esme looked away. Right on the button!

"Aww, come on! You must have got caught. I barely had time to catch my breath! Invigorating wasn't it?" Rosalie ginned at me and Esme had to leave the room. I couldn't tell whether or not she was laughing.

"More like a baptism of fire," Jacob mumbled quietly into his breakfast. Too quiet for a human to hear, but no problem for me. He shifted uncomfortably on his seat.

"No way? I guess I'll have to stop calling you Kiddo!" I had to try and make him feel a little better, and what better way than massaging his ego. I had a sudden thought.

"Oh, no! That howling last night, that wasn't you was it? Not as WOLVES!" I tried really hard to look aghast and failed as I burst into laughter. Jacob looked like he was about to take my head off.

"Respect!" I smiled widely and punched him on the arm. Despite himself he grinned and tried to get me in a headlock. I flipped him off his seat, but he managed to keep his feet under himself and we crashed into the wall.

"Take it outside!" Esme called from upstairs.

"Yes, Mom!" I replied cheekily, and let Jacob go.

"Later, Jacob. You and me, outside!" Now this could be fun.

"You're on!" he laughed. "I'm going to put teeth marks in your butt for that." He sat down to finish his breakfast. The atmosphere in the room was certainly lighter now.

Alice actually looked shocked, she walked out past me. "I am so glad I couldn't see _that!_" she hissed, just loud enough for me to hear.

It did add a whole new layer of meaning to 'doggie style', and it added a whole arsenal of verbal weaponry in my never ending quest to wind people up. Edward and his staid sex life were going to catch a break for a while. Jacob on the other hand, he was going to have to grow a backbone, and fast. I wasn't sure about Leah though, she might really try to take a chunk out of my ass. I might have to play that one by ear. Unconsciously I rubbed my ear, it still stung.

Carlisle swept into the kitchen looking focused and fired up. He always did when he had a particularly interesting or thorny problem to sink his teeth into. Anything 'new' after three hundred and fifty odd years must have been a real bonus for him.

"You've certainly stirred things up, Jacob. Have you heard about all the drama last night?" Carlisle asked.

Jacob looked cornered and I had to laugh. "Not_ that_, wolf boy! Rosalie – she fell asleep." I explained.

"Gave us all quite a turn," Carlisle added, flicking me a questioning look. No way was I going to explain!

"Who are you and what have you done with the real Rosalie?" Jacob asked staring a Rosalie with an amused expression.

"Good question, Mutt. One I think Carlisle is desperate to find an answer to." She cocked an eyebrow back at him.

"I must admit I am fascinated. Firstly, the difference in your reaction to venom when you're wolf or human. This really points to a much greater change in your physiological make up when you phase than first appears. I'm sure there must be a link to the other symptoms you describe – accelerated maturity, halted ageing, and rapid healing. Now there is the added fascination of the effect your blood has had on vampire physiology. The changes we've seen in Rosalie even in the last day." He was pacing and gesticulating widely as he spoke, the enthusiasm evident in his every move.

"There is no president for any of this, everything is new. Rosalie, I would very much like to study your venom. To see how it has changed and to compare it when you are back on your 'normal' diet." Rosalie nodded, smiling at his eagerness.

"Jacob, you know I've looked at your blood before. Without your knowledge or consent, and I'm very sorry about that, it was unethical of me. But this time I would like your consent, and co-operation, to do a much deeper study." He sat down opposite Jacob, his excitement barely contained. I guessed the description 'like a kid at Christmas' wouldn't have been far off the mark.

"But, why? What is the benefit of all this?" Jacob asked.

Carlisle looked flustered. "Umm, I guess there is no direct benefit. Just professional curiosity. This is new and intensely interesting for me, and after so long it is exciting to find something that fires my imagination to this degree. I'm sorry, Jacob. I realise I have overstepped myself even asking this of you, especially as it is only to satisfy my own curiosity." He visibly slumped. It looked like Christmas just got cancelled.

"Look, Carlisle. You've done a lot for me, patched me up a couple of times already. Saved my life last night. I can't say I'm completely comfortable with the idea, but if it means so much to you I can let you have an armful of blood to 'play' with. It might be reassuring for Rosalie and Emmett too."

This time I was stunned, how could I have ever hated this boy. This man, I corrected myself. Carlisle smiled hugely, Christmas was back on. Even Rosalie had let her guard drop a bit and her expression had softened. Whether that was because Jacob was doing this to please Carlisle, or whether it was to reassure us – I didn't know with Rosalie at the moment. God damn sentimental… I breathed deeply and suddenly needed to break the moment.

"Right, Jacob. Outside – Let me take that arm off for Carlisle!" I backed away from him smirking. "Here Boy!" I called, slapping my knees as if to call a dog. He leapt. I turned and ran outside at full vampire speed, laughing every step of the way. I saw Edward, Bella and Nessie coming up the path from the cottage. I raised my hand in greeting and was flattened by a ton of snarling, russet, horse-sized werewolf. He got his teeth in my shoulder and flung me solidly into the ground.

_What the fuck? No way is he that fast!_

I was up in an instant. I blurred with speed as I entered a crouch, and then circled the growling monster in front of me. Snarls were ripping through my body. Nessie screamed. Her little hands over her mouth in shock and fear.

_Don't worry, baby girl, just got to teach this puppy a lesson._

Edward was laughing so hard and exuberantly it caught me by surprise. He was holding onto a tree to keep himself upright. He rarely relaxed his serious exterior. I glanced at him and caught a blur of russet out the corner of my eye.

I twisted and ducked, caught Jacob's lunge and flipped him over me. He contorted in the air, landed on all four paws and immediately sprang at me again. I dove under him and aimed a kick at his haunches and missed. He landed and scooted out the way.

_Shit! No being complaisant around this mutt._

The snarls were echoing off the house, vicious and feral, both his and mine. His body was tense and poised to fight, his hackles were up and his fur bristled. Everything indicated death on four legs, except for his eyes which were laughing at me.

"Nessie, they're not going to hurt each other, not too much anyway – they're _play_ fighting." Edward could hardly speak for laughing.

He called across to Jasper, "I've got a hundred on Jacob actually getting teeth into his butt!"

"No bet, Edward. I'm not throwing money away on a given," Jasper laughed back.

_The bastards! Betting against their brother and siding with the mutt… No damn way… Time to eat dirt DOG!_

We crashed together, rolled, snarling and smashing into the trees. It was no play fight; we each had a point to prove. It was like fighting Jasper. Jacob was everywhere and nowhere all at once. I managed to get my hands on him and overpower him occasionally, only to find myself at a disadvantage the next moment. It was damn close. Neither of us could quite get the better of the other. The pup had earned my respect.

He lunged and caught my hip, ripping a chunk from my flesh, just as I grabbed his foreleg and hurled my weight upon him knocking him to the ground. There was a sickening snap and he whimpered, phasing fast. We lay tangled on the ground, breathing heavily, cursing our respective wounds.

"I think we'll call that a draw shall we?" Jacob forced out before his head dropped back in pain.

"That's definitely the closest damn draw I've ever had!" I grabbed the chunk of my flesh from the ground, licked it and fit it back into place. The scar evident through the rips in the cloth. My dear brothers were not going to let me forget this, ever.

I hauled Jacob to his feet as he cradled his arm against his chest. "Let's get you back to Carlisle before that starts healing"

"Already on my way!" I heard his voice through the trees. "I thought it might come to this."

I lowered Jacob to the ground again as Carlisle came into sight. He gave Jacob enough morphine to down an elephant and then set his arm quickly. A simple sling was all that was required while the healing did it's job. Carlisle threw a pair of shorts at him without comment.

"Just this once I'm going to let this pass. But if you EVER take it this far again I will rip a chunk out of each of you myself!" His look was stern, but his warning was unnecessary. We'd got the measure of each other and there was nothing left to prove. I think he knew that too, his fierce look wavered and a grin spread across his face.

"Now, Esme. I don't think she's going to be quite so forgiving – You have completely demolished her garden, ripped up most of the lawn, and taken out a trail of trees. There's a very high likelihood that you two are going to be on gardening duty for the next week!"

We both groaned dramatically and walked back to the house together. The most unlikely brothers in existence.

"Oh, man!" Jasper wailed as we came into view. Rosalie held out her hand as Jasper reached for his wallet. His black credit card was snatched quickly and smugly from his grasp. Alice bounced up and down excitedly, clapping with delight.

"What did we miss?" I asked.

"We all figured that Jacob would get a piece of you, and that you would draw blood on Jacob. No-one was willing to put money on THAT! But Rosalie was insistent that you'd break something," Jasper replied. I raised my eyebrows at Rosalie and she smiled back innocently as she pocketed Jasper's credit card.

"You were over confident," Edward laughed, "and he had something to prove. You didn't stand a chance!"

"I still can't believe you bet against me. I am mortally offended." Hands on hips I stared at Jasper, he just shrugged. Still staring at him I smirked and called over my shoulder. "Come on, girls. Who wants to go shopping? It seems I need some new clothes," Jasper's head shot up, "and a new bed."

"You wouldn't? Damnit, Emmett. Not all of them!" Jasper looked alarmed.

"And me! I want to come too!" Nessie's little voice was shrill with excitement.

"We'll be taking two cars then. Alice? Would you mind? Carlisle, can I take yours?"

"Arghh!" Jasper gave up and stomped into the house. I looked at Jacob; he was flexing his newly healed arm already.

"Tell you what, Jasper. If Jacob gets his teeth into your butt I'll hand over my credit card. I'd pay good money to see that any day!" A win–win situation if ever there was one. Jacob laughed loudly.

I shot upstairs to get changed. My clothes were shredded. By the time I got back downstairs the girls were ready to go. Even Esme joined us, after all, she needed a new bed too. Revenge was sweet.

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Thank you for reading - Please Review :o)


	7. Chapter 7: Frustration

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. All mistakes are mine. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta RedSummer :o)**

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Maria's POV

I came ashore somewhere east of the Olympic Mountains. My clothes were shredded and I'd lost my shoes. I was furious.

I'd been so near to succeeding. I'd actually had my hands on her, tight in a grip that would have destroyed her if I'd been left just a moment longer. We'd been too close to the damn mind reader. Even those few fractions of a second after I had made my decision had been enough for the fucking clairvoyant to warn him and bring them all running. How the hell did he manage to hear her from so far away? I'd have to be careful if that was his range.

The newborns had at least managed to put the blonde, Rosalie, out of action for a while. If only they'd got a fire going, that would have been one less Cullen to worry about. The newborns' crude fighting was no match for the Cullens, and the chances of them having survived that encounter were non-existent. How long Rosalie was incapacitated would depend on how quickly the Cullens found all the pieces to put her back together again. Either way it wouldn't be long enough.

Jasper! He was perfect in his fury. A pure evil fighting machine. That was _my_ Jasper. He hadn't lost his edge, and I'd nearly found that out to my cost. I'd barely evaded him and the damn mind reader. Only their flinch as Emmett had cried out had allowed me to break from their grasp and head for the sea. I'd only just made it there ahead of them.

I needed to find out what the hell was going on at the Cullen's after my botched attempt to kill Alice. I had no idea if Rosalie was in one piece, or if they were planning on coming after me in revenge, or even if they were packing up and leaving.

I looked around the beach where I stood. I needed to feed and I needed clothes. I could see the lights of Seattle across the bay and decided that there would be a good place to start. I headed for the nearest road. Where there was a road, there were people, and there I could at least see to my more immediate requirements. It didn't take long to break through the trees and onto the tarmac. It was silent and dark in both directions so I started running down the road towards Seattle.

Eventually I saw lights approaching, so I pretended to stagger as if badly hurt. My dishevelled appearance must have helped as the car slowed and stopped. I fell to the ground and cried out as if in pain. I heard the car doors open and two women ran to my aid. Within a heartbeat they were drained, their blood revived and warmed me. I dressed in the best of their clothes and flung their bodies deep into the woods. I nearly threw the car in after them, as if they'd crashed at speed, but the softly purring engine spoke of power. I hadn't had the chance to drive for a while, and the little Ferrari looked like fun.

A bag lay on the car seat displaying makeup, sunglasses, and a well stocked wallet. I spent a few moments brushing my hair, and applying a touch of unneeded making up. I tucked the sunglasses on top of my head to push my hair off my face. My new look was complete.

When I put my foot down, the car roared.

I reached the outskirts of Seattle in a disappointingly sort amount of time, and parked the unlocked car on a darkened street with the keys in the ignition. It would be stolen and crashed or sold before the night was over. I moved onto the brighter, more populated, streets and searched for inconspicuous prey. Long legs and high heels as bait for the kind of low-lives that would not be missed.

I sensed him before I saw him, another of our kind hunting in the area, watching me. I remained aloof, and put on a show for both hunter and prey alike.

"Alright, Darlin', you wanna good time?" Two inebriated young men accosted me. They weren't what I had in mind, their clothes were designer and their blood stank of expensive drugs. They would be missed, and investigated, and in all possibility the Cullens forewarned. I crossed the street and continued past them.

"Aww, come on Darlin', I got some good stuff here. You look like you could afford it. It ain't the crap that the street scum are selling round the corner." They followed me and I realised that they wouldn't give up easily. As they were selling so vocally I would be able to pass it off as 'drug related crime' or whatever the current police buzzwords were.

I stopped, cocked my hip at them, and looked from under my eyelashes. The streetlight was not strong enough for them to make out the red of my eyes, seeing it only as the dark of desire.

"You're not street scum then? Standing there in your cheep clothes, hawking badly cut hard candy?" I turned and walked into the nearest alley and stopped just on the edge of the light. I looked back over my shoulder at them, and they followed like puppy dogs when I moved deeper into the darkness. They already had fucking hard-ons, I could smell their arousal over the drugs and alcohol. I was tempted to toy with them, the frustration of the failed attempt to get Jasper still rankled, but my watcher moved closer, onto the roofs above.

I stopped and put my back to the wall, watching the men in the gloom. Their eyes took a while to adjust, but I could see their every stumble. What a shame, they were actually quite good looking, probably family money. The first of them came and stood close to me, almost touching my body. I could feel the heat of his erection radiating through his clothes. He licked his lips and ran his hand up my thigh, feeling my stone cold granite flesh. He looked confused and his hand stopped just under my skirt. I turned and pushed him into the wall, pressing my body against his. The temptation to play with my food rose in me. He was so warm. I suppressed it with difficulty, I had nowhere to take him.

"Don't you want to play anymore?" I asked teasingly as I ran my fingers up his thigh. He shook his head as the primeval urge to run battled with the desire to just give in to my voice and my scent. I could feel him trying to push me away. A futile effort which I put an end to by exhaling my intoxicating breath straight into his face. I could feel his body melt against mine as his will dissolved. He groaned sensually. I lowered my lips to his neck, and ran my fingers in his hair, for all outward appearances embracing and kissing him. I quietly crushed his spine and drank from him. The taste of drugs tainted his blood. I needed to find someone cleaner to clear the bitter aftertaste. He slid down the wall with a startled look on his face as I pushed away from him.

"She too much for you? Fancy passing out before you even get the chance to –" His friend laughed loudly and held himself up against the wall.

"Do you want the other one then?" I called to my watcher. "It would be a shame for him to go to waste now."

The friend stopped laughing and looked again at his mate slumped against the wall. I wondered if my watcher would take the bait, literally. The man turned and fled towards the bright lights of the road, but he didn't make the end of the alley. My watcher dropped on him and fed without taking his eyes off of me. When he finished he crouched silently over the body.

"What's your preference? Beat them up and leave them in the alley? Or stick them under a rock in the sound?" I asked conversationally, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

My watcher snapped the man's neck and took out a blade, cutting his throat and disguising the bite. He wordlessly threw the knife to me and I copied his actions before I threw the my discarded body into a dumpster and set it alight, he threw his own mutilated body on top.

I leapt onto the roof and waited for him to follow. He landed gracefully the other side of the alley and stood tall, staring at me. Without a sound he held out his hand for the knife. I studied him. He was tall and dressed in a smart but understated way. Dark jeans and shoes, mid grey shirt, and a jacket in darker shade. Nothing remarkable, nothing too noticeable. His shoulders were broad, and he looked as if he were well muscled beneath the layers. His dark wavy hair was caught back in a small pony tail. His jaw and cheekbones sculptured.

His face was closed and his burgundy eyes wary, as he studied me as intently as I studied him. The fire in the dumpster had caught, and engulfed the remains of our meal. It began to bring unwanted attention. I heard sirens in the distance.

"We should move," I said.

"There is no 'we'," he hissed in reply.

"My mistake," I apologised as I threw him back his knife. I could use him if I didn't antagonise him. "I didn't intend to intrude on your territory. I'm just passing through."

"Southerner," he observed.

"I give myself away so easily?" I was surprised.

"Only Southerners keep territory to defend."

"Are you a nomad then? Is this your normal range?" I could hear the sirens getting closer.

"I've been here long enough." He looked to the horizon and there was a light band to the East.

"May I follow you to shelter? Or am I on my own for today?" It would be useful not to have to search for cover, and as a companion he looked like he could be interesting.

The firetrucks pulled up at the end of the alley, their flashing lights sparkled weirdly off our skin. The nomad shrugged and vanished. I raced to keep up with him, he hadn't said not to, and that was good enough for me.

Instead of heading to the more derelict districts, he guided us to a well lit suburb. We came down off of the roofs and walked to a small shabby hotel. The sign said it was closed, but the nomad unlocked the door and entered anyway. We came to a reception area where a very old man sat behind the desk. He reached over his body and took a key from the rack behind him. He threw it at me, and then went upstairs. The key he had given me was for the room next to his.

"Goodnight, Ms Southerner," he said as he unlocked his door, entered, and shut it behind him. I was completely thrown. I stood there agape for a long time. From inside his room the sound of a shower started. He really hadn't been joking. I unlocked my door and entered the run-down room.

It was chintzy in an old fashioned way. Too many flowers, with matching everything: bedspread, cushions, curtains, and even wallpaper, but faded and discoloured around the edges. The little bathroom had a seventies pink suite and even pink marbled tiles. Yet more matching flowers were to be found in the shower curtain and towels. I returned to the bedroom and looked over the street at the rising sun. I drew the curtains closed.

"Great, just great," I said to myself as I threw myself on the bed. He had barely spoken a dozen words to me. I had no idea who he was, where he was from, where he was going. Nothing. He had asked nothing of me either.

I could still hear the shower running next door. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea after my impromptu swim. I stripped quickly and turned my own shower on. It was surprisingly good, and I enjoyed the warmth as I washed the salt from my skin and hair. I only got out when the water turned cold, and then I dried and put my stolen clothes back on.

When I looked out the window again the sun was masked behind thick low clouds, a thin misty drizzle swirled through the air. I opened the curtains and sat looking out. I wondered what was going on the other side of the Olympic park.

I heard a soft knock at my door. "Come in," I called without taking my eyes from the view. I listened as the door opened and the nomad entered my room.

I stared into the distance, my mind fixated on the Cullens. I thought about their annoying gifts, and the frustrating complaisance of the wolves. I had no idea what bound them, and that was a problem if I intended to break them and get Jasper back. I had heard it was only love that kept them together, but how could that stand against power?

"Lost in thought?" The nomad asked from near the door.

"I was," I said turning to him.

He had changed; pale blue jeans and trainers, t-shirt and shirt. He held two coats in his hands.

"Would you care for a walk?" He said, holding a coat out to me. I didn't need it, but it would draw attention if I only wore my flimsy cardigan out in this weather. Humans needed to wrap up.

"OK," I replied. I had nothing better to do. Obviously conversation was not his strong point. I had never met someone who had so little curiosity. I reached for the coat he held out and slipped it on.

"Are you going to tell me your name?" I asked.

"No, not yet," he replied, and turned and walked out the room. I shook my head to myself. Some companion he turned out to be.

We walked silently down the empty streets, our coats pulled tight around us, the hoods pulled up to hide our eyes. I grew more frustrated as time passed and not a single word was spoken. I could generally manipulate people in the course of a conversation if I wanted to, but this was impossible. As soon as it was dark I would move on from this bizarre stranger.

"Why are you so far from home?" he finally asked.

"It talks then?" I replied sarcastically. My patience had long since been used up.

"Yes, it talks. When it chooses." He was completely unruffled by my tone.

I stayed silent a long time, contemplating my answer. I wasn't sure if I could use this man, he seemed so aloof. There was nothing to bend to my will. I looked at him. He gazed into the distance, it would obviously make no difference to him whether I spoke or not. In the end I decided to talk, the silence was getting to me.

"I followed the Volturi, they were confronting a powerful family here and I wanted to see the outcome. It didn't go as I hoped. I hung around afterwards to see if I could figure out what was going on, but they confronted me and chased me into the sea." I explained.

The silence stretched between us. So much for opening the conversation. I gave up and turned my mind back to the Cullens. I wondered briefly what Edward would make of this strangely quiet nomad, or Alice or Jasper for that matter. He gave so little away that he could have been thinking, feeling, or planning anything.

"I followed them too." He actually made me jump, so unexpected was his reply. "I watched from a distance. I didn't want them aware of my presence."

I waited him out this time.

"The child is interesting. I never knew that was possible."

I waited again. This was going to be a very long drawn out conversation.

"The Cullens have a lot of gifted among them."

"As do the Volturi," I countered.

"Not as many, not as powerful. One or two they use consistently as weapons, but without them they are weak. The Cullens and their allies proved that."

"Their shield is strong, but she is young," I pointed out.

"Then she will only grow stronger."

He had a point there. I thought about that. Bella's protection was against mental attack. The wolves' protection was against physical attack. If those two layers of protection were removed then they were still left with a formidable defence. They were all very proficient fighters, Alice and Rosalie had proved that simply by surviving long enough for the others to reach them. Jasper had no doubt trained them as hard as he'd trained any of our newborns. The only weak point might have been Esme, she was an unknown quantity. The mother figure to their family, but like a mother bear protecting her young, she would probably be unpredictable in the lengths she'd go to defend them.

"Even without her, they have many layers of protection. They have had to defend themselves before and are proficient fighters. Aro would have been in trouble had be not backed down," I stated.

"Then it would have been trouble of his own making. The Cullens' strength is that they do not wish to attack. They defend." He pointed out.

"So you support the Cullens?" I stopped walking and stared at him.

"I support no one. I was merely pointing out that the Volturi were weak purely because Aro thought they were so strong. The gifts were taken from two of their number and they were rendered powerless. If you could have taken the gifts from everyone in that field the Volturi would still have been massacred."

"It would have levelled the playing field though," I observed before walking again.

"No, it would have stacked it massively in the Cullens' favour. The binds that tie them are not artificially generated, or manipulated. They are not part of a gift that could be magically wiped away. The Cullens would stand together and the Volturi would dissolve before their eyes, their artificial ties obliterated."

"If only gifts could be magically wiped away. It would make my life so much easier!"

This time he stopped and stared at me. "How so?"

"The Cullens are hiding something and I desperately want to find out what it is. With the prescient and the mind reader I need only to think of doing something, and they'll have already come up with a plan to avoid it."

He nodded and carried on walking. Conversation over.

As night fell we separated to hunt. I found a runaway that still had clean blood, and that took the chemical aftertaste from my mouth from the day before. I returned to the hotel well before dawn and settled into my room for the day.

I went over our conversation again in my mind. Was it really true that the Cullens' love for each other, the true bonds that they had formed, were greater than any advantage vampire gifts could bring to a fight? It would certainly have been interesting to see what would have happened if all the gifts in that field were 'magically wiped away' as he'd put it.

I heard him return then, straight to his room and into the shower. After a long time the water turned off and his room fell silent. I didn't hear a sound from him until the afternoon, when he again invited me for a walk. We didn't talk, more accurately, he didn't talk. All my attempts to get some answers from him failed, and he must have got all the answers he wanted from me in that first conversation.

Frustrating as it was, that same routine filled the following days. Hunt alone at night, sit in the room alone during the day, and walk together but in silence in the afternoon and evening. Nearly two weeks had passed and I still hadn't decided if I was going to return home, or try to get to the Cullens again.

There was something in the quiet routine that lulled me and allowed a lot of time to think. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that separating the Cullens was no easy task. My fight to get Jasper back was going to have to get very dirty to even have a hope of breaking through the protective layers that the Cullens had formed around themselves.

We walked again as the day faded and returned to the hotel at dusk. The nomad unlocked the door to let me in, but this time instead of following he handed me the key.

"Keep it locked. Stay if you want to. I'm going to find out." He turned and walked away.

"What?" I called after him.

"I'm going to find out what the Cullens are up to," he replied.

"Why?" I was flabbergasted.

"I'm curious," he answered, and that threw me as he'd shown no curiosity whatsoever in the previous two weeks. I still did not know his name, and he did not know mine.

"But they'll see you coming," I pointed out, exasperated.

"That won't matter. I'm magic." Without any further explanation he disappeared.

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Just after I first wrote this, I thought I'd search and see if I could find a picture of a male model with dark hair to fit the description of my nomad. Google came up trumps. I've put the link on my proflie as I couldn't get it to work here. Have a look and tell me what you think!

**I've kind of caught up with myself now. Everything I've got beta'd I've posted, so it might take a little while to get ahead again and post something new. But don't despair I'm writing like mad and I'm currently on Ch24!**

**Thank you very much for all the reviews - it makes me feel GREAT to see them in my inbox. Thank you very much for reading - Please keep reviewing :o)**


	8. Chapter 8: Revelation

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. All mistakes are mine. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta RedSummer :o)**

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Emmett's POV

Rosalie had slept less and her appetite had diminished as her eyes had got darker, but they seemed to stay sliver for a long time. Even after two weeks she didn't really _need_ to hunt. I'd had to go out earlier in the week.

"Charlie's coming round for the game later. Are you still good?" I asked.

"I'm fine. I think I can cope with a bit of male bonding in the house. Why you guys think shouting at the screen makes any difference I'll never figure out! I'll spend some time with Alice. I might even sort out your wardrobe."

I groaned – it could be an expensive game.

Rosalie blanched then, actually went paler. She sprinted from the room in a flash and I heard retching in the nearest bathroom.

"Babe? You OK?" I called as I waited at the door. Rosalie wasn't good with vulnerable.

A reaction to breakfast maybe?

The door eased open and she leant against the frame. "Maybe I will hunt with you. I'm not feeling quite right at the moment."

"Come on then, we can nip out now." We managed to find a grizzly for me, and a lion and a deer for Rosalie. Her eyes changed to a mesmerising gold with silver highlights.

We made it back just before Charlie and the others turned up, and helped put snacks and beer out; props for the afternoon. Our kitchen had never seen so much use and Esme was in her element.

We shouted and groaned and cheered our way through the game. It made no difference, they still lost, but it was a man thing, even if only one man in the room was actually human. The girls drifted back into the room to join us, Rosalie, Alice and Nessie floated down from upstairs. I dreaded to think what they had ordered on _my_ card. Esme, Sue and Bella came in from the garden. The last of the damage from our fight had been repaired and was beginning to show new growth.

Our living room always seemed to be full these days. We were going to have to buy another sofa if we carried on like this. With the nine of us, plus Charlie and Sue, Jacob, Seth and Leah, it was pretty cosy in here. Leah had been a bit more reserved, if that were possible, since the night Jasper had let loose. But in the interests of remaining joined to certain parts of our anatomy, none of us had mentioned a thing when she was around, not after the first day, it was safer that way.

Jasper had picked up massive embarrassment, uncertainty, anxiety, and a definite streak of barely restrained violence. The vindictiveness had peaked when she saw Jasper for the first time, and he visibly flinched when I aired my first 'doggie' reference of the evening. Edward had quietly explained what kind of revenge she was planning if I didn't shut up – in vivid detail. I had no wish to spend a month putting a certain part of anatomy back together again. I may be strong, but she was fast, faster than Jacob. According to Jasper she was right on the edge, so in all likelihood she'd snap and have bitten it off and crunched it up nice and small before I even had a chance to defend myself. Not good for marital harmony, that's for sure!

Rosalie curled into my lap. "They lost then? I never would have guessed."

Nessie jumped on Charlie and squeezed herself between him and Sue. "You were so loud, I bet everyone heard you." She looked at Sue for confirmation.

"Even from the end of the garden," she said, and that was saying something for human hearing.

Rosalie groaned quietly and suddenly dashed out the room, trying her hardest to keep the run to a believable speed until she was out of sight. I heard the bathroom door slam and followed her as fast as I could. This time I did not wait outside and found her hunched over the toilet throwing up the results of our hunt. I cleaned her up, then the bathroom, and wrapped her in my arms. She looked small, vulnerable; it wasn't a look that suited her. Her eyes had gone silver again, just a slither around the edges of her dark pupils.

"I think we need to speak to Carlisle," I said quietly.

"WHAT!" I was stunned. Carlisle could have hurt me less if he'd ripped my limbs off. I looked at Rosalie and saw confusion, hope and pain in her eyes, those beautiful hint of silver eyes.

"How?" Rosalie's voice was soft, controlled really, considering she'd just found out that she'd got her dream, but that it was going to be snatched from her grasp again in the cruellest possible way.

"I don't know yet." Carlisle was pacing, strain in his features.

"PREGNANT?" I had to check I wasn't in some twisted parallel universe. It was impossible. Physically, totally, completely, impossible for a vampire to get pregnant. Never changing meant that nothing could ever change, _ever_. But now Rosalie had the equivalent of a three month old foetus growing in her womb.

"Yes," Carlisle said. His voice was soft in the face of my disbelief and anger, a tone he used so often in his day job to calm overwrought relatives. Who'd have thought he'd have to use it on me?

"But it's going to die?" I threw back at him. Rosalie's womb was crystallising around it, its growth being stifled by our never changing vampire nature.

"No, it's just going to stop growing, it won't die, it just won't develop anymore." Carlisle knew what this would do to Rosalie. She'd been through so much recently. How could fate deal such cruel cards? After eighty years of longing she was finally pregnant. Only for it to fail and to have to carry a child in her womb that would never be born – carry it for the rest of eternity.

"There has got to be an answer. How could it even get this far?" I was desperate.

"I DON'T KNOW YET!" Carlisle's calm facade was slipping. "Nothing like this has EVER happened before, and all of a sudden I'm meant to have all the answers?"

I could see I was being unfair, pinning it all on him, but he had the best hope of figuring it out. "You and Edward, you've got medical degrees, there must be something there that we can use?"

"Unfortunately not, they're a little light on vampire physiology."

"Especially a vampire tripping on werewolf blood…" Jacob's comment slammed into all of us.

We stared at him as he stood in the open doorway. It was so obvious once he had pointed it out. Sleeping, food, digestion even – Rosalie had hated that particular side-effect. Her body had been changing for two weeks, but then it had worn off. Alice's comment from that first morning sprang into my mind – _"Whatever you have done it has changed the future IRRECOVERABLY!"_

"I need to speak to Sam." Jacob had probably guessed what was going through our minds, and he knew that the consequences of his actions were far more cataclysmic than any of us could even have imagined.

The rest of the family stood at the door of Carlisle's office. Charlie having taken the others home when they'd heard Rosalie was ill. They moved aside to let Jacob go. We hadn't been discussing this quietly and no amount of soundproofing would prevent a concerned vampire from listening in.

_What could they say? What could any of them say that would make this better again?_

I pulled Rosalie to my chest and held her tight. I could feel her falling apart under my embrace. She sobbed tearlessly into me and I wished I could cry too.

By the time I looked up again Esme had gone. Alice was wide eyed, her face blank. Jasper appeared overwrought by her emotions, by all our emotions. He caught my glance and gently pulled Alice away. Bella stared up at Edward, he had his head resting against the door frame, and his eyes were tight shut against the onslaught.

_Edward, let Bella shield you. We've all got a lot of thinking to do. It'll be easier for you if you don't have to face our thoughts too._

He opened his eyes and twisted to look at me. He didn't lift his head from the frame.

_We'll be fine. Go._

He shut his eyes again and then lifted himself from the door frame, pressing his forehead to Bella's instead. I could tell the moment she shielded him, you could watch the immense strain lifting from his face. She took his hand and led him and Nessie quietly away.

Carlisle's hand squeezed my shoulder. His presence was an anchor that grounded me. I wanted to take Rosalie away from all this, but that was not an option. I had to face it, and I couldn't do it with a better man at my side, but right then Rosalie and I needed some time to talk, alone.

"We'll be fine. Go." I repeated my mental words out loud, but Carlisle looked torn.

Esme's anguished cries came from upstairs, it sounded like she was going to break something. The pounding stopped suddenly, and I realised we were at last alone. I held Rosalie close, not really listening, but I heard the sounds of the house anyway. Muffled conversation in strained tones, I couldn't talk here.

"Come on, Babe. Let's get out of here for a bit." We dropped out Carlisle's window and headed for the forest.

**Esme's POV**

I had known that Rosalie had been sick that morning, but wasn't overly concerned. It was something we'd all had to do at some point after eating human food. I figured that Jacob's blood was 'wearing off' so to speak. Rosalie's eyes had been nearly dark, not enough that she'd had to hunt, but obviously enough to cause her to reject breakfast. She'd looked happy and healthy when she'd returned from hunting, golden eyed, with just a hint of sliver still sparking in there.

It was a huge relief to see her back to normal. Although she was obviously healthy after Jacob's blood, I couldn't say I was completely comfortable with the changes it had wrought. Carlisle, however, was in his element. He'd turned half of his office into a lab full of equipment I couldn't name. Splitting, separating, and whatever else these gadgets did. Minutely studying both Rosalie's venom and Jacob's blood. He'd spent virtually every hour there that he wasn't at work.

I resented that slightly, after all the angst of the past month or so. We'd only really had that night that Jasper had – caused me to let go somewhat. Not that we hadn't had time together, but that was more guarded, more restrained. With everything that had happened I still felt keyed up, still as on edge. Carlisle was so distracted he hadn't picked up on my mood, something he was usually so good at. I needed another chance to let go, to expend some of the anxiety. I'd felt completely free of my mothering role that night, I actually wanted Jasper to let loose again.

Hot embarrassment at my thoughts surged through me; at once I was grateful I couldn't blush. But Jasper knew, he looked up at me concerned and confused. I must have painted a very conflicted emotional picture right then. I was sick with worry about Rosalie, resentful of Carlisle's time, aroused at the thought of Jasper letting loose, and embarrassed that he would know that.

They'd been in Carlisle's office a while, it hadn't taken long for the house to clear. One look at Emmett's face as he'd come back into the room was enough to kill the relaxed mood. He'd called Carlisle 'Dad', a sure sign of his worry, said that Rosalie was sick and could he please come to his office to reassure her. I hadn't seen them since.

Charlie took Sue, Seth and Leah home soon after. Sue tried to reassure me, but she knew more about us than Charlie. She knew that we couldn't get sick. Charlie still maintained his need-to-know attitude, but over time he had learnt more and more. Falling in love with the mother of a couple of werewolves was a bit of an eye-opener for him. It was a huge relief for Bella, if he became involved with the werewolves then there was no reason for the Volturi to target him for knowing about vampires. When he finally decided to fully embrace what was going on around him, Bella could tell him the truth.

I looked around the room; everyone was sitting rigidly waiting on news from upstairs. Some obviously worried, some lost in thought. We'd had so much to think of recently. Alice was nearly beside herself at not being able to 'see' what was happening. She hadn't 'seen' Rosalie at all since she'd drunk Jacob's blood. More worryingly for her, both she and I had become hazy, sometimes dropping in and out of sight.

I needed to know what was happening; I couldn't bear the uncertainly that hung over my family. They were my life now, even the werewolves. Especially Jacob, who had become a surrogate son to me the moment I found out he had no mother, that she had died when he was so young.

"WHAT!" Emmett's shout shattered the silence permeating the room.

My stomach lurched in dread and I concentrated hard to hear what was being said. Even with the soundproofed walls it was still possible to pick up conversations if you listened hard enough. Normally a shut door and common courtesy were sufficient to afford the privacy we so desired, but right then I was desperate. I wasn't the only one. All the faces in the room had turned at the shout. Jasper had even shot to his feet in reaction to some perceived threat. We listened harder.

"How?" Rosalie asked. The word barely discernable she'd spoken to softly.

"I don't know yet." The strain in Carlisle's voice was obvious to my ears.

"PREGNANT?" Emmett burst out again.

My mind started to reel. Scorching jealousy shot through me, followed by sick shame that I should have felt that at all with Rosalie so obviously ill. I inadvertently crushed the arm of sofa that had been under my hand.

"Yes." Carlisle confirmed that one of my deepest desires was actually possible, but his voice was soft and pained.

"But it's going to die?" Emmett's anger caused Jasper to flinch and my breath to suddenly become stuck in my chest.

"No, it's just going to stop growing, it won't die, it just won't develop anymore."

I felt as if a hole had been punched right through my stomach as I imagined myself in Rosalie's place, the harsh reality of his words screamed across my brain. She'd have it inside her, alive but never growing. Forever. I moaned with the depth of pain I felt for Rosalie.

"There has got to be an answer. How could it even get this far?" Emmett pleaded.

I looked around the room, foolishly thinking that the answer would be right there. That someone, anyone, could fix this and suddenly have all the answers. Everyone looked shell-shocked, Alice's face mirrored my internal pain, and Jasper's reflected Rosalie and Emmett's. Jacob's head hung as he traced Rosalie's scar on his wrist repeatedly, as if trying to wipe it away. Bella was clutching a very quiet Nessie in a tight embrace; the bright youngster knew that then was not the time for questions. Edward stared at Jacob in horrified disbelief.

"I DON'T KNOW YET! Nothing like this has EVER happened before, and all of a sudden I'm meant to have all the answers?" Carlisle was cracking under the strain.

Suddenly Jacob leapt up, striding towards the stairs. Edward shot after him, but one glance from Jacob, a silent reprimand, prevented Edward from stopping him in his tracks. Instead Edward followed him up to the door of Carlisle's office.

I had to be there, I couldn't bear not knowing what was going on a moment longer. I was not the only one who gathered at Edward's shoulder as Jacob opened the office door.

"You and Edward, you've got medical degrees, there must be something there that we can use?" Emmett was standing between Carlisle and Rosalie, his gaze flicking between the two. His expression switching between concern for Rosalie and frustration at Carlisle.

"Unfortunately not, they're a little light on vampire physiology." Carlisle ran his hands through his hair, pulling it into a fist.

"Especially a vampire tripping on werewolf blood…" Jacob spoke quietly, but the effect was as if he'd shouted.

Carlisle's head whipped round, comprehension dawning in his eyes before reality crashed down upon him, closing his face as he brought his inner turmoil under tight control. Rosalie's face filled with hope and Emmett's with desperation, before they too caught up with the truth. That had been why Edward's face had been so horrified. Jacob had figured it out, and figured out the consequences. It seemed obvious to me then too – more werewolf blood, lots more werewolf blood. That was the only thing that would make this possible, and that in itself was where the impossibility lay.

"I need to speak to Sam." His voice was emotionless, his face hard.

I saw then just how much the boy had had to grow up in one short year. He'd transformed from gangly teenager most notable only for his skill with cars; to the largest, strongest of all the werewolves; Alpha of a pack of his own, survivor of two fights to the death, and now standing here with the weight of all our hopes, dreams and deepest desires riding on his shoulders. Natural enemies, unlikely allies, tentative friends, now part of our family.

We parted silently to let him pass.

Emmett pulled Rosalie into his arms and she crumpled as he held her, sobbing into his chest.

I don't think I could have taken a breath even if I'd wanted to, a tight constriction filled my throat. I turned and walked silently to my room and closed the door with the softest of clicks. I walked to the bed, curled up foetal style with my legs pulled tight into my chest under me, and buried my head in the pillows we never slept on. The hole punched in my stomach earlier had become a yawing crater of pain, a gaping void in my womb where my baby had been, where Rosalie's…

I only succeeded in pulling in a ragged breath, the screams and crying meant to follow it were trapped, searing in my chest.

Foggy human memories resurfaced then, breaking through the previously impenetrable barrier that had been erected in my mind. I pulled a pillow into my lap, balling it up and trying to fill the void. I hunched over it, the softness crushed beneath my granite body, leaving me feeling no more complete than I had before. I remembered him then, my little angel.

…_soft flutters in the base of my stomach. I paused, waiting for it to happen again. Dismissing it as the minutes passed. Again, that slight ripple, a whisper of movement. Was it? Could it be? I waited again concentrating on the feelings in my body. There it was again, my heart raced and my hand snatched to my belly, my baby. Blissful happiness that this little bundle of unknown had been the catalyst to make my escape. It didn't matter that we were alone now, rejected by friends and family alike. We would be together and just knowing that he or she was there made the future not only bearable but something I actually welcomed…_

…_my belly had expanded, becoming softly rounded. The gentle ripples grew into something that I could feel under my hand… _

I clutched my hand to my empty barren belly and dug my fingers into my unyielding flesh.

…_I delighted in lying on my back watching, staring at my naked belly as he, I was sure he was a he for some reason, squirmed and pushed in his contained little world. The unevenness of my belly's once perfect curves revealing feet, elbows, a bottom or a head, it was impossible to tell, but the corners testament to the fact he was there, strong, healthy and growing in my womb… _

I snaked both my arms around my waist, and held tight lest I should break in two.

…_the gentle tightenings I had been feeling grew, the certainty of his imminent arrival made itself felt in the base of my belly and down the backs of my thighs. Pain, excitement and fear washing over me as I sent for the help I would need…_

…_soothing murmurs, the midwife sponging my shoulders, wetting my gown and cooling my overheated body… _

…_supporting hands as another contraction rose, filling the separate little universe that my baby and I resided in. Time had no meaning, the feelings of pain changing to ones of pressure; I didn't know what to do with myself. Trying to rise, change position somehow, anything in that moment._

"_There, there, Esme dear. Settle down, it just means your baby is ready to be born now. When you feel the need you can push, keep breathing, and let your body go with it, I'm here." Her disjointed voice breaking into my world…_

…_surging, burning, and pushing. Sweat ran down my back, my breath ragged. "I can't. I can't do this anymore!"_

"_You're so close now, feel. Give me your hand." I felt the slick curls of my baby's crown hot in my hand. A new surge and he pushed into my palm. I bore down as the burning intensified. Peaking._

"_Well done, Baby's head is out." I clutched the midwife for support, my head spinning._

"_Breathe now, keep breathing, just one more." I gulped air and rode the next surge, trusting all my weight to the midwife as I focused only on getting through this. I felt slick gush and the warm wet body was placed in my arms, I could still feel the cord pulsing where it lay across my belly._

"_A little boy, Esme, dear." I lay back, feeling his small frame against mine before I even dared to look. I stared down into the dark eyes gazing unfocused at my face, his fist was in his mouth, the perfect little nails on his fingers far too long, dark fuzz of damp chestnut hair coating his head. Love, complete and unconditional, swept through me and I would have been happy never to move from that place, to always be staring into his eyes…_

A moan escaped me. I wanted only to be in that moment forever.

…_My breasts felt lighter as he dropped his head back, flushed as sleep overtook him, my milk dribbling from the side of his mouth. The midwife looked over at him, but her smile looked false. His soft breaths sounded a little ragged, his perfect lips slightly blue…_

"NO!" I was not going to remember that. I sat up and started punching the pillows trying to drive the pain away, only to come back to the moment and remember why I was here. My daughter was pregnant with a child that would never be born. My daughter would have this little vampire life inside her, never growing, in stasis, like us. Was she far enough along that she could feel it move? The thought was sickening, having to face that forever, knowing that it could never…

"NO! NO… No… No."

My hands fisted needing to punch something, damage something, to try and express externally the pain inside. I pounded the pillows again, but needed a firmer target for my blows. I pulled my fists back only to feel firm hands clasp them and wrap them around my body. My arms became part of his embrace. I didn't need that. I needed to release my anger. I twisted out of his arms, turned and beat my fists against his chest until he pulled me close to him, trapping my arms and stilling my blows.

"NO!"

I struggled against him, frantic, desperate, all sense leaving me. He slid his arms up my back, locked his fingers in my hair and held my gaze with his own. The love in his eyes seared into me cauterising my emotional wounds. Something inside me snapped and in that moment I found myself pulling myself closer to him, curling up into a ball in his arms, needing him to be my anchor in this world, needing him to show me why we were here when the life we led could be so cruel. Needing him, just needing him.

I sat sobbing in his arms, the release a catharsis for the emotions in my system. Tearlessly I cried out my pain; the loss of my baby, the inability to carry another, the empathy for Rosalie, her curse to carry hers forever, the knowledge that there was a way to salvage all these hurts, but that the price was so high, the cost to those we respected inconceivable. Hours, Carlisle held me for hours, and eventually the sobs came to an end.

"I love you, Esme. I love you with all that I am. I will always be here for you. No matter what." He breathed the words into my ear, and then stroked my cheek, brushing a non-existent tear away.

"Let's hunt. We will need to be strong, emotionally and physically, to get through these next few days. Can you do that?" He said with concern in his eyes. He hadn't needed to ask what my tears and tantrum were about. It was part of me, the very essence of me, to want to bear him a child.

"With you by my side I can do anything," I said, and held his hand as he pulled me from the bed. It was true, I felt stronger. We dressed quickly and dropped out the window, unable to face the rest of the family until fortified and prepared.

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Thank you for your patience, it still might take a little while to get ahead again and post something new. But I'll put something up again as soon as I can.

**Thank you very much for reading - Please keep reviewing - it makes me feel GREAT to see them in my inbox :o)**


	9. Chapter 9: Contemplation

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. All mistakes are mine. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta RedSummer :o)**

**Sorry for the delay - Couldn't upload my latest chapter. I've finally found a work around on the forum (thank you MysteriousAndChaotic) and fingers crossed it works.**

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**Emmett's POV**

Running through the trees in the cool evening air seemed to clear my head. Well, not exactly clear it, there were too many thoughts going round and round and smashing into each other for that, but it seemed to calm it. The circles weren't so quick, the changes in direction not so violent, eventually I was able to pick up the strands and try to follow each thought to its conclusion.

Without realising where we'd been heading, we came to one of 'our' spots. A place we came to get away, where we could be loud without intruding on the others. A place that looked serenely beautiful; the perpetual clouds had cleared and a full moon lit the sky. To our vampire sight it was as clear as day. I sat against a broad tree and Rosalie sat between my legs leaning back against my chest. The scent of her hair was losing that werewolf tang, but she was still uniquely mine – my angel. Without conscious thought my hands drifted to her stomach settling over her pubic bone, over our baby.

"Sometimes I think I can feel it move. Just a little flutter every now and again," she sighed.

"Oh, Babe." What had I unknowingly done to her, what torture would she have to endure from this point on?

"You've given me what I've always wanted, Emmett. Don't ever be sad about that." She put her hands over mine. "This is our baby, even if it does have to live out its vampire life cocooned in my body. I'll always know it's part of you growing, living, inside of me."

"Do you want to ask them? Ask for more blood just until it's born?"

"Desperately! More than anything in the world. This is everything I've ever wanted, other than you." Her hands squeezed mine tightly, underscoring her words.

"Me too. I'd do anything if they'd only agree."

"But… I don't think I could ask – it's too much to ask." She shifted around to look at me, until she was sat straddling my lap, her head hung so that her golden hair swung down around us both.

"The whole reason they exist is to destroy vampires, it's in their genes. They're here because we're here. They're here to protect their tribe against the scourge that are the Cold Ones. Us. It was only because of Bella and Jacob that they agreed to fight with us against Victoria, and because of Jacob and Nessie they stood with us again against the Volturi. We are the most unlikely allies in existence, but deep down we are still mortal enemies, even if some of us are now friends. Their stench makes my venom rise if I get caught unaware, although it's far more familiar now. If I catch the scent of one of Sam's pack it almost burns my nose and I have to really control the urge to fight. I'm sure it's the same for them.

I don't think I could ask them to bring another vampire into the world, they only let us turn Bella as Jacob was in love with her. He is the highest ranking Alpha and he overruled the rest of the pack to save her 'life'. This child is nothing, maybe even a liability to them, to everything they stand for. I'd rather keep this child safe in my belly for eternity than risk it being torn limb from limb by the pack."

She held my hands tight and looked into my eyes. "I don't want to ask. Do you understand that?"

"Totally. I've been thinking similar things. I have a lot of respect for Jacob now, for Seth and Leah too. Without them I wouldn't have you and that means a lot to me. They were there when we needed them, above and beyond, and they've had fuck all in return. I completely support you for not wanting to ask, I don't want to risk offending them or being offended in return if they say no. The only way this would work is if they offer off their own backs."

"Not very likely."

"No, but the only way."

"What would you do if they did?" Her voice was hopeful, but I couldn't let that thought continue.

"There's not a reason on earth that they would offer to actively support us. We'd be setting ourselves up for failure if we let ourselves go down that path. Painful as it is, I couldn't let you think there was hope. Hope would only eat away at as until we were hollow shells of ourselves, always resenting the werewolves who have become our friends."

"I know that… but if they did?"

"Then I would move Heaven and Earth for you, Babe." I pulled her close. She turned around and snuggled against my chest again, placing my hands over our baby. I breathed in her scent, saturating myself with it. I watched the moon travel across the sky until it became obscured by clouds and the far edges of the horizon began to lighten.

Rosalie sighed deeply. "It's Esme I really feel sorry for. I've always wanted a baby, but as part of the bigger picture. A husband, a nice house, a family. I've got so much of that with you now." She squeezed my hands under hers. But with Esme it's much, much more. It's as if the yearning for her baby has come with her to this life. Amplified and intensified, like Carlisle's compassion and your strength. I think Esme's ability to love so freely, to need to mother us, is all part of that. It's an integral part of who she is, to desperately want to bear Carlisle a child.

She's had years to come to terms with it, to be angry, resentful, disappointed, and now finally accepting. It's one of the fundamental realities of being a vampire. A bit like gravity – it just is, and it cannot change. Just as we are the way we are, and we cannot change. We cannot get pregnant.

Right now, it's like gravity has shifted, turned right on its head and put the world completely upside down. Everything we thought we knew is different now. What was impossible is now a reality – achievable, but only at a cost so high that it becomes impossible again. It changes things, that knowledge."

She sat quietly watching the sky lighten for a while. "It's going to be hard for Esme now. Knowing that I'm pregnant and she's not. Even though nothing will come of it, it's going to hurt her deeply. Just to know that she _could_ carry a child. I'm not sure I know how to be with her right now. I feel awkward because she'll hide how much she's hurting, but still love us anyway." Her breath hitched as if weeping. I felt for Esme, for all of them. I was pretty certain Alice would be feeling this too.

"Come on, let's go back. There's no point putting this off and we need to tell the others before the wolves get here." Her voice was stronger. The certainty of our decision had taken the edge off the strain. She pulled me to my feet and we followed the familiar path home.

**Esme's POV**

We cut through the darkness of the forest in search of prey. I normally took down the gentler herbivores, but today I needed to find something that fought back. I needed the violence of the kill to expend the anger still in my system. I'd cried out most of my frustration, but it went so deep that I knew I'd be battling the conflicting emotions for some time yet. I wished it was me that was pregnant. I'd even have willingly gone through the pain of being torn to shreds, even the pain that that would have caused Carlisle.

I looked over at him as he crouched some distance away, scenting the air. My stomach lurched and I realised just how selfish I was being. I couldn't willingly cause him that kind of pain and the fact that I'd even thought it made me feel guilty. My anger at the situation grew again and I channelled that into the hunt. I could sense Carlisle moving upwind of me and crouched quietly, listening intently. I heard the rush of his body through the trees and the muffled crunch as he landed, crushing his prey.

I caught a new scent in the air, mountain lion, and moved silently towards its source. I could hear the relaxed heartbeat as it sat unaware of my presence. If I pounced, it would die instantly without a fight. I purposely scuffed the leaves slightly and was rewarded with a low growl and an increase in the animal's heart rate. I moved around it making small sounds so that it knew it was being hunted. The animal's ears went back and a vicious snarl broke from its chest as I stood facing it. I pounced.

The lion fought back violently, but its claws scraped harmlessly over my granite flesh. I overpowered it and heard its snarl of rage as I dug my teeth into its throat, cutting off the sound. I felt the lion's final feeble attempts to push me away fade as the hot blood coursed down my throat, soothing my thirst, but fuelling a new hunger.

I became aware of Carlisle's presence as I let the drained body drop to the ground. He stood in the trees downwind of me, careful not to disturb me in my hunt. I normally hunted alone. It embarrassed me to let my baser animal instincts take over where my family could see. However, when Carlisle hunted with me I sometimes let those animal instincts take over for entirely different reasons. Although the fight had taken the edge off of my anger, it had also left me feeling very much aroused. I turned to Carlisle and saw him respond to the look in my eyes. His own eyes darkened with desire and I leapt.

He caught me in his strong arms and wound his fingers into my hair, kissing me deeply, passionately, and full of need. I found myself ripping his clothes from his body as he leant his weight onto me, not breaking the kiss, but tipping me backwards onto the ground. His hands were still in my hair as he kissed my neck and the scar where he'd turned me. I wrapped my arms around him as one of his hands reached to pull my underwear away. He plunged in deep, filling the aching void inside of me dulling the pain that overwhelmed me, if only for this moment. I pulled myself closer and dug my nails into his back. He hissed and growled, nipping at my shoulder in return. His pace increased and a deep throaty purr rose in his chest. My need built slowly, battling against the emotional blockades that this situation had put up, but as he brought new and overpowering pleasure to me, each barrier shattered and broke away under the force of his love. Eventually my release came shuddering through me and I clung to him.

As we returned dawn was just breaking. I hoped a new day would shed new light on our problems. I changed into clean clothes and headed down stairs to the others. Rosalie quickly looked away, embarrassed and uncomfortable. She must have heard my crying and she understood the reason too. But I would not let _my_ past, _my_ problems, interfere when one of _my_ children needed me so much. I went straight to Rosalie and grabbed her hands, pulling her into me as I wrapped my arms around her.

"No matter what, we'll be here for you." I looked into her eyes, the silver now only a bare hint. "You're MY daughter now. Always know that." She hugged me back tightly.

Over her shoulder I saw Alice hovering in the doorway, she looked uncertain, in such confusion. We'd never really spoken about it, but the urge to have a child must have been just as great for her. Even if it wasn't, our current circumstances must have brought it, and all its implications, to the forefront of her mind. She looked torn. I felt saddened that she didn't feel she could come to us, so I held out my arm in invitation. Rosalie followed my gaze and held out her arm too. Alice ran across the room and slammed into us, sobbing into my chest.

"I'm so sorry, Rosalie. I'm so sorry. I couldn't SEE!" Her arms pulled from me and wrapped around Rosalie. Her embrace was returned a hundredfold.

"Don't apologise for that, don't ever apologise for that. I'm alive because of you. That's what you should remember. Even if things are a little fucked up at the moment."

I normally jumped down their throats for using language like that in the house, but right then I thought she had a point.

Huge arms wrapped around all of us and made me jump. "Can we all join in?" Emmett laughed. He always managed to lighten the mood, and I loved him for it. It must have been a rough night for all of us, but there he was flashing those adorable dimples, melting all our hearts.

Carlisle came into the room and saw us all in a huddle, smiles still on our faces. "I think I might have to have some of that too judging by your smiles!" There was no way he could reach round us all like Emmett had, but he managed to get a hand on Emmett's shoulder, and the other around as far as the small of my back. It was getting silly, but the smiles were a balm and the laughter genuine as he squeezed and tried to reach further around us.

"Enough! Enough already!" Alice's voice peeled with laughter. She was stuck in the middle, getting the brunt of the crush.

"Look, Dad. This is probably a good a place as any to tell you this. Rosalie and I went though it last night. We've decided we won't ask them. It's too much. But, if they offer, then we'd do anything in exchange. I just wanted you to know that." The words were serious, but his actions belied them. He squeezed us all causing Alice to shriek again.

"OK, Emmett. I think I pretty much came to that conclusion too. The decision was never anything but theirs. I will support you no matter what happens." Carlisle looked at me "We will support you."

"Don't you DARE squash me again!" Alice's voice rose from the middle of our bodies. "If you want to get all macho you can wrestle outside. I've not seen you go for it for a long time, DAD!" The emphasis was sarcastic, the love in her tone wasn't.

"What do you reckon, Old Man?" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows.

"Another time," Edward called as he stepped through the door. "The wolves are on their way."

Bella and Nessie followed him in, and Nessie ran to join us. She climbed Emmett's back and Carlisle caught her in one of his arms. She planted kisses on everyone she could reach.

"I hope you've got a lot of food, Grandma Esme. They're ALL coming!"

"Not ALL of them, about half. All of Jacob's pack, and a couple from Sam's," Edward corrected having caught my startled look.

"Enough to eat a LOT of food though!" Nessie was insistent.

"Will you help me get some then? You know their favourites." I slipped out of the group, grabbed Nessie deftly from Carlisle's arms and headed to the kitchen. It wasn't just for show anymore. Every cupboard had something edible in it, and we had a good collection of well used utensils. Despite human food smelling unappealing to me, I had discovered I was actually a pretty good cook.

**Emmett's POV**

Jacob turned up with his pack, plus Sam with Paul and Jared from his own. They all squeezed into the living room with us. Sam was well outside his comfort zone, but hell, we all were at that moment. As he'd rightly pointed out, this could affect everyone. Sam stood up, a brave man to want to start this particular discussion.

"Jacob has explained to me what has happened in broad terms, but I want to make sure that everyone has the same understanding." He paced slowly up the middle of the room. "After Maria's attack Rosalie wasn't healing and wouldn't even have donated blood to complete her recovery. Jacob offered his blood as he wasn't human and would heal fast. This action cured Rosalie, but nearly killed Jacob, as it turns out we're not immune to vampire venom when we are human – only when we are wolves." Murmurs of ascent rose from around the room. No one would forget that in a hurry.

"Rosalie started eating human food and sleeping, and as we have just discovered, became pregnant. As Jacob's blood is wearing off she's no longer able to sleep, can't eat human food, and her pregnancy is also halting as her body returns to its normal vampire state. This means that Rosalie will remain pregnant forever. Have I got that right?" He asked Carlisle, who nodded, letting Sam continue.

"Jacob was the one who spotted the link to his blood and the implications of that. Put simply: if Rosalie continues drinking werewolf blood she would carry this child to term." He looked at Carlisle for confirmation again. He wasn't sugar coating it, and I was grateful.

"Jacob and I also suspect that this child will need werewolf blood to ensure it grows and does not stay as an immortal child. We have all learnt the hard way that that means instant death at the hands of the Volturi." Another nod from Carlisle.

"That's an awful lot of werewolf blood," Jacob added in an undertone.

I realised then that this wasn't just about the pregnancy, obvious to some maybe, but I just hadn't thought that this would have repercussions that lasted years. Our decision not to ask was based on weeks of help, there was no way we could do this if it meant years. This was not just toleration of a mortal enemy, but massive physical sacrifice to bring another one into the world – to sustain it and bring it to maturity.

A werewolf had lasted Rosalie two weeks. If the child matured at the same rate as Nessie it would take about seven years. If they had a similar appetite they'd need over one hundred and eighty 'werewolves' worth of blood. I felt sick, not something vampires ever normally experienced. I looked at the eight werewolves in front of us aghast.

"This is not something we are even willing to consider if there is the slightest chance that our decision will ever result in the loss of human life."

My breath halted. They'd actually thought about it.

"Even if we were to consider it, we would need something just as valuable to us in return, something almost impossible in exchange."

_Shit, they'd do it for the right price! Oh God, name it! If it were remotely within my power I would go to the ends of the earth for them. _

I unconsciously squeezed Rosalie tighter to my side. Sam was under intense scrutiny from every single one of my family.

"When Rosalie first had Jacob's blood, and the differences became clear, you wanted to study the changes in depth. Professional curiosity at the time, but now there is a slim chance that may work in our favour."

_Where was he going with this?_

"We want to understand werewolf blood, understand what causes the changes, what triggers it, how to prevent it and how to age again. Our price is this: Find out what causes werewolves to phase in the presence of vampires, more specifically isolate the difference between vegetarian and non-vegetarian vampires and come up with a way of preventing this change when you return again, but not forfeiting the tribe's protection if others arrive. That is for our grandchildren, the future of our tribe."

_Oh God… no way!_

"For us, we want to age. Not all of us admittedly, not right now, but all the while you are here we are not growing old. Even if you moved away tomorrow the immense control it takes to stop phasing took our ancestors generations to master and the truth is vague about how long it took our own grandparents to stop. Emily is pregnant, I am not willing to watch her and our children grow old and die before my very eyes. I want to grow old with her. Billy and Old Quil are willing to donate some of their blood for comparison, but I want you to isolate that difference. That is for us."

_Why not just ask for the moon? How the hell are we going to achieve that?_

"I understand this may take years to achieve, but time is not something you're lacking." Sam looked straight at Carlisle. All of the werewolves looked at him just as intently as we had been staring at Sam only moments before. "Can you do that? Are you willing to do that?"

"Sam, I am certainly willing to study your blood, our venom, anything, everything, required to try and find the answers you seek. What I cannot do is offer any guarantees. I don't know what I will find, if there is anything to actually find. All I can offer is my assurance that I will spend every available hour working on this until an answer can be found either way. My time at the hospital is coming to an end. I will have to leave before questions about my age start. This will allow me to set up and equip a lab suitable for such research, but I am only one man –"

"No you're not! I'm enrolling on the first medical course studying genetics that will take me." I stood and placed my hand on Carlisle's shoulder, backing his words and sentiments.

Edward stood too and moved to stand at his other shoulder. "I'm reasonably current and should be able to get onto a doctorate course. Will that be enough, that we will put everything into finding the answers you seek? Even if we fail in the end?"

Sam watched us quietly, mulling over our words. We hadn't promised what he had asked. To promise that would have been empty and meaningless. What we had promised was to give everything we could.

"Sam," Alice said firmly, "not all of us are cut out for medical degrees, or working with humans in the way that would be required to get these qualifications. But that doesn't mean we can't study or help in Carlisle's lab. I want you to understand that we'd do anything at all that would help. All of us will work together on this."

Sam's gaze swept slowly over us all, making eye contact with each member of our family. He saw the resolve there. "I think that would be enough. I can't ask for any more than you have offered. If you had promised answers then I would have walked out of here. That is not something you can guarantee and I accept that."

_Oh, God. Oh, God, there was a chance. _

I felt weak, completely weak. I was shaking. Rosalie came and stood by my side, holding me tight. A gentle calm eased me, soothing my manically racing mind and my shaking limbs. Jacob came to stand with Sam, facing us.

"You understand that all human life is sacred to us. That if we help you, and either of you harm a human, anywhere, not just on treaty land, that any agreement we may make is over and the treaty will be broken." Jacob spoke with deep pain in his voice. If the treaty was broken he'd lose Nessie one way or the other. He knew that, it made the force behind his words more powerful.

"Never, never again. For as long as I exist I will honour any agreement made. If… if…" I couldn't even say the words, they stuck in my throat. The thought of drinking human blood was suddenly repulsive. I shook my head to clear it. "If I should fail I will deliver myself to you or your ancestors. I couldn't have my family in danger. Please… not all of them." Not Nessie I meant, but I wouldn't use her as a bargaining chip, that was too low. It would undermine what we were trying to do here.

Sam and Jacob exchanged looks. "OK, not the treaty. Your family will be safe if one of you should fail, but we won't take both of you either." He'd seen the panic in Rosalie's eyes. "I understand the bond of a soul mate is almost as strong as imprinting, but this child should not be without a parent. We won't do that." Jacob was firm. I understood his reasoning.

"The child is a different matter. It cannot give us promises or guarantees. We cannot allow this child to harm a human. You understand that don't you." I nodded vehemently.

"If a human is harmed, killed, or bitten and turned by this child…" he left the words hanging, the end of the sentence to painful to express.

"…you will hunt it down and kill it." I finished the sentence for him. The heavy truth of the words suffocated me.

"No, Emmett." He drew in a shuddering breath and had the courage to say the next words while he looked straight into my eyes. "You will kill it yourself. That is our price."

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	10. Chapter 10: Committed

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. All mistakes are mine. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you, RedSummer, spot on as always. :o)**

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**Carlisle's POV**

I knew the price would be high, but to see Emmett stagger and fall, that really brought it home. He was our rock. He was always positive, he brought laughter to any situation, and he eased many of our awkward moments. But he looked like the bottom had just dropped out of his world. He clung to Rosalie and crushed her to him. This time she was the strong one. She clasped him to her chest and ran her fingers through his hair, then lifted his face to meet hers.

"We can do it, Em. We can raise this child to respect human life as vehemently as the wolves. We can love them and protect them, teach them and guide them. We can be there for them when they need us. We are strong enough. Strong enough to move Heaven and Earth remember…"

He began to breathe again, huge ragged breaths that calmed as her words sunk in.

"Together, always, success or failure. We can do this," she said with certainty, the implication being that if they failed, they would do that together too, all three of them. The knowledge that he would not have to live long after performing his duty seemed to give him the strength to rise to his feet again.

"I except, Jacob, Sam, and on behalf of your ancestors after you. If a human is killed or turned we will kill the child ourselves, but in exchange we would ask you take us too."

My breath stuck in my throat and my mind reeled with the implications of what had just passed. Rosalie and Emmett would have their baby, they would raise it, but if it killed a human they would die. I would lose them all. The thought was too horrific to comprehend. What had we just agreed to? I held my hand out to Esme; I needed her touch to help me be strong.

Sam and Jacob exchanged looks again. "Agreed. But I sincerely hope it never comes to that," Jacob said quietly.

The silence in the room stretched awkwardly as reality sunk in. Jacob turned to his pack and the look they exchanged seemed to galvanise him. "Okay, Carlisle. I guess we have to figure out how we're going to do this. I believe there is another game on later, and by the smell of it, Esme and Nessie have got something good lined up in the kitchen, so why don't we take this to your office and let the rest of them get on with eating you out of house and home?"

"Cool!" Seth enthused. He never seemed to stop eating at the moment. "Come on, Nessie! Show us what you've cooked up today." He grinned broadly and the tension in the room seemed to melt. Nessie jumped up and sprinted ahead of him just as Embry and Quil took off after them, racing to the kitchen and barging each other out of the way in an effort to get through the door first. Paul and Jared just stayed on the sofa looking uncomfortable.

I heard the oven door open, then plates clatter on the table. "Excellent!" Embry exclaimed from the kitchen. He stuck his head round the door to the living room. "You guys have got get in here. There's roast venison and heaps of potatoes and everything. Nessie's made chocolate chip cookies and they're huge!" He vanished again, but this time Paul and Jared followed, still slightly hesitant.

"I best go and make sure they behave in there," Esme whispered in my ear. "I don't want them teaching Nessie bad habits!" She squeezed my hand reassuringly and then smiled at Jacob and Sam. "I'll bring some up to the office for you both. If I don't save you some now there won't be any left at all."

"Thanks, Esme. By the sounds of it, you best be quick. Seth is having a growth spurt _again_, and he's eating anything that isn't nailed down or locked up!" Jacob's point was underlined by raucous laughter from the kitchen and Esme left to get them under control. She amazed me, the only vampire in existence mothering a bunch of teenage werewolves!

"Shall we?" I gestured to my office and followed Jacob and Sam upstairs. The laughter downstairs was muffled as I closed the door behind us and the awkwardness descended again. I rounded my desk and sat down as Jacob and Sam pulled up chairs the other side.

"So, how much do you guys actually drink?" Sam asked, starting with the most important question of the lot.

"That's a very good question, Sam. I'd say we normally drink the equivalent of two to four pints a day, but all at once, every couple of weeks or so. It's down to personal preference really. Jasper feels more comfortable when he hunts more regularly, and I can go longer. Rosalie, however, has not hunted since she had Jacob's blood. It's lasted a long time for her, a lot longer than any of us expected, so even with diet we are in unknown territory right now."

"I would guess that you've got about twelve to fourteen pints of blood in you, Jacob. By the sound of your heart, your blood pressure, and the effort it took to keep you alive, I would say you'd lost over half your blood. Seven pints, or thereabouts. That lasted Rosalie two weeks, but her ability to sleep and eat diminished after the first. I would guess that her needs are realistically about a pint a day at the moment."

"I guess that's manageable," said Sam. "A lot better than four a day anyway. Have you any thoughts about how we are going to do this?"

"Depending on how many from your packs are willing to help, I should imagine that a pint, or maybe two, a week should suffice. Your enhanced healing is more than adequate to cope with that demand as Jacob demonstrated quite effectively. What I don't want to do is leave you depleted. I will monitor you carefully, and I ask that you're honest about any side effects – even the mildest ones."

"I have the equipment required for blood donation here, which means I can take it whenever you, or members of your packs, are available." I had no wish to dictate any of this process to the wolves. If they wanted to come all at once, or drop by on an ad-hoc basis, that decision would be theirs. I was just grateful that they were even willing to consider helping us. Even the thought of the research required in exchange was more exciting than daunting. My biggest hope was that somehow, out of all of this chaos and uncertainty, there would be a way for Esme to get her dream; for us to have a child.

There was soft knock at the door. "Come in," I called. Esme came in with a tray of food and drink for Jacob and Sam and Nessie followed with a plate of enormous cookies.

"Wow, Nessie, and I thought Embry was exaggerating again!" Jacob beamed a smile and took the plate from Nessie, grabbing a cookie before passing it to Sam.

"Thank you, Esme," said Sam as she put a tray on the table and uncovered two plates absolutely laden with food.

"How on earth did do you manage to salvage that much from under Seth's nose?" Jacob joked.

"Vampire speed, and a firm hand helped," laughed Esme.

"And we cooked lots and lots," added Nessie. "We know you too well, Jacob!"

Esme shot me a dazzling smile, took Nessie's hand and led her from the room. I watched as she walked away from me, graceful and beautiful, imagining instead that it was our child she was leading. I was a very lucky man. The door shut with a soft click behind her.

"Earth to Carlisle?" Jacob's chuckle snapped me from my reverie.

"Sorry, Jacob. Where were we?" I brought my attention back to him, slightly embarrassed at the train of my thoughts. They'd agreed to help Rosalie, anything more than that was just wishful thinking.

"How about we start straight away? Rosalie obviously needs to feed and we're all here. I can ask them to come up one at a time once they've cleaned out your kitchen. Let me finish this, and you can start with me. How long does it last anyway?" He pulled his plate towards him and started eating while I answered.

"How long does what last? Donating or the blood?" I asked. Jacob shrugged, his mouth was full. "Okay, donating blood doesn't take long, about fifteen to twenty minutes or so. The blood itself will normally last about a month, but it needs to be treated with preservatives and anticoagulants and stored properly to achieve that. It's better for research to use the blood while it is still fresh, there's less chance of discrepancies."

"Makes sense," Sam said between mouthfuls.

"I'll set up over here. Just come over when you're ready." I left them to their meal and retrieved the blood bags I had stored. I was going to need a lot more of them. I was going to need a lot more of a lot of things. As I set up, I thought about the task ahead of me. It made sense to move from Forks. If we stayed after I left the hospital a lot of questions would be asked. But we needed to be close enough to the wolves, and we'd need space for a lab too. I'd get Esme onto that, she was excellent at orchestrating our moves.

"Are you ready then, Doctor Cullen?" Jacob came over to where I'd set up. "Let's get going then shall we?"

It didn't take long to get Jacob's donation, even though he insisted on giving two pints. I made him drink and rest, which he did begrudgingly, but I could hear from the speed of his heart that the blood was already regenerating. It was only a subtle difference, but it reassured me that the werewolves were robust enough to cope with the task ahead.

"I didn't get a chance to congratulate you, Sam, on Emily's pregnancy. It must be very exciting for you." I started with the 'doctor' patois as Sam seemed nervous now he was in the vampire's lair. It worked, his face lightened at the thought of Emily pregnant with his child.

"Very." He grinned. "But I'm nervous too. It would be reassuring to know if Maria was out of the area, but I'm certainly glad the rest have gone. That was too intense by far! Especially knowing that Emily was pregnant but not being able to tell anyone. She was worried it was too soon. It's due at the end of July. Everyone is excited –" The grin fell from his face. "Everyone except Leah."

"That must be hard for all of you," I sympathised.

"It's manageable with Leah in Jacob's pack now. I'm glad we don't have to run together anymore, but I feel guilty about that too. I still love her in a way, but nothing like what I've got with Emily. Having to see the pain I'd caused every day, and hear it in her thoughts, it made me feel awful every time." He looked away as I inserted the needle and started his donation going.

"She's a bit better now she's away from you too, Sam. Not having to see you and hear you _all_ the time means she can push it away and pretend it's not there. I can't say she's not bitter about the baby, because she is. Badly. But it's not for the reasons you think, she doesn't begrudge you guys at all," Jacob reassured him.

"That surprises me. She must have changed more than I thought. But why?" Sam asked.

"I guess she has changed a great deal. We've had a lot of time to 'talk' while we run, and I think that not having you there in her head has made it easier to work things through. It's kind of awkward at the moment." Jacob paused and shot me a look. I'd heard about that, _awkward_ was a massive understatement thanks to Jasper. "But we've come to an understanding. Emily being pregnant is something that she's got to deal with. The reasons why are for her to choose to share, or not. It's her choice, and I've come to respect that," Jacob replied.

"Oh," Sam looked confused. Jacob shrugged.

I hadn't known Leah before she ran with Jacob's pack, but Sam's reaction was so shocked that I guessed she'd been a lot worse when she was with him. It was a shame that her friendship with Jacob had been so badly shaken. I would have a word with Jasper about that.

It didn't take long for Sam's donation to finish, he'd insisted on two pints as well. After the same drink and rest routine that I'd forced on Jacob, he was free to go.

"Thank you, Jacob, Sam. I'll sort these out. You send them up one at a time when they're ready."

They left and headed downstairs while I gathered the blood they'd donated. It wasn't long before I heard feet charging up the stairs again. Whoever it was they were keen.

"Hi, Carlisle," said Seth as he bounced into the room.

"Oh no, Seth. You're too young, and you're growing like mad right now. You need all the blood you can get!" I watched him slump.

"Come on, please? I want to help and I can heal as quickly as the others," he pleaded.

"I can't, Seth. You're not sixteen yet, and even then I'd need your mother's permission. I know these aren't exactly normal circumstances, but I just can't do it. It wouldn't feel right," I explained.

"If I get my Mom's permission, would you do it then?" He was desperate to find a way around my arguments.

"With your mother's express permission, I will consider it," I conceded.

Seth sighed deeply. "Okay, okay. I get the message. Not today," he acquiesced. He wandered out of the door again visibly disappointed. I hated crushing him like that.

Quil came up next and chatted happily about Claire and what they'd got planned for the following weekend. I didn't need to guess why he was helping us; he had years before he needed to think about ageing again, and the chances were very high that we'd have come up with something by then.

Embry followed Quil and breezed into the room happily. I enjoyed that they were comfortable around us now. "Doctor Cullen, how could you do that to Seth? It's like kicking a puppy!" His smile contradicted his harsh words. "He's gone right now to ask his Mom, so you're not getting off the hook that easily."

"Thanks for the warning, Embry," I replied. "Sit down here and let's get you going."

"I'm hoping you'll have this sussed by the time I imprint. Although we're running out of friends, cousins or nieces I haven't met yet."

"I can't help you there! You've met all my 'cousins' and I think they have the opposite effect to the one you're after."

"You're too right there," he laughed.

Embry's face suddenly went serious. "Carlisle, have you heard about the controversy over my phasing?"

"No, Embry. I haven't. If Edward has heard anything he's kept it to himself," I said.

"I shouldn't have phased you see. My father wasn't Quileute. What that means is that he wasn't my father…" Embry trailed off.

"But that one of the Quileute Elders was?" I asked.

"Yes, but nobody knows who," he revealed. "It's not something you can ask outright without upsetting a lot of people."

"I don't think it is something you can find out through other means either, not without upsetting a lot of people too." I could see where this was going, and I needed to make him think, hard.

"But you could do it?" He asked.

"Technically it's possible. Ethically it's not, not without permission. So please think about this."

He looked down at the line of blood running out of his arm. It did hold the answer he wanted, but not on its own. With nothing to compare it to the answer would remain a secret.

"Embry, a lot more wolves have phased recently. There must be some common blood going back a long way for that to happen. They can't all be direct decedents of the current Quileute Elders."

"Maybe not, but the strongest lines phased first, and I was one of the first."

"But so did the eldest, and you are older than the others. Have you spoken to anyone about this?"

"Ha! In the pack you can't avoid it, especially with Leah throwing snide remarks around the pack mind. They're all awkward about it – I mean, their fathers could have cheated on their mothers and that is painful to think about. That and the fact I could be their brother."

"I didn't mean the pack, Embry. I meant the Elders. Have you had a chance to speak privately with them?"

"No. I haven't had the courage." He sighed deeply.

"Would you like me to have a quiet word with Billy when he comes to give his sample for the research? See what he thinks you should do?" I asked. Billy was the leader of that generation and as an elder he was probably more than aware already.

"That'd be good. Thanks, Carlisle."

I finished his donation, pulled out the needle, and got him to hold the tiny puncture wound for the few moments it took to heal. "Have a drink and rest here for ten minutes or so. When you feel ready you can go back down to the others." I was under no illusion that the pint of blood would slow him down anywhere near as much as the questions would. Embry's heavy tread down the stairs seemed to reflect the weight on his shoulders.

Paul and Jared came up quietly together. I hoped that they would feel more comfortable soon. They had fought with us, and stood with us against the Volturi, but they hadn't spent any time with us or been inside our house before now.

They sat silently while I took their donations. I knew from Jacob that they had both imprinted – he was particularly unimpressed with Paul for imprinting on his sister. I guessed that as they got used to us we'd see more of their characters; Jared a joker and Paul a pain the ass – according to Jacob.

They left as quietly as they came and their footsteps down the stairs were overlapped by a lighter one racing up them again. I didn't have to guess who that was, and sure enough Seth burst into the room.

"I've got it, see?" He thrust a folded bit of paper in my direction and stood panting, waiting for me to take it. He must have run flat out, there and back, to have got it so quickly.

_Doctor Cullen,_

_Please accept this as my permission for Seth to donate blood for Rosalie, and for your research. I can't say I am completely happy with the idea, but Seth is exceedingly keen to help. I am putting my trust in your judgement as to the level of his involvement. Seth is especially keen for to you to find a solution to ageing, an end to phasing and a return to normality. _

_Yours sincerely_

_Sue Clearwater_

I read the note again and looked up at Seth. "I thought you liked being a werewolf?" I asked.

"I do! It's cool. Leah doesn't though. She hates it and what it's done to her. I want you to figure that one out for her."

He waited, looking at me as I shook my head in amazement. For a teenager, he was astonishingly selfless. Edward had said he had a genuine and pure mind. Most boys his age hated their sisters, but he just wanted to help.

"Will you? Can I?" He looked concerned, misinterpreting my actions.

"Yes, Seth. But there are conditions," I conceded. "Only every other week, not every week. Never more than a pint, never on days you patrol, and you _will rest_ afterwards. Do you understand me?"

"Sure thing, _Doctor_ Cullen. Anything you say." He relaxed before my eyes, the anxiety at my earlier decision only apparent now it had gone.

It took hardly any time to get his donation. After running to La Push and back, his blood was almost fizzing out. I forced him to rest for another fifteen minutes and listened to his heart as well as his chatter.

I appraised him again. I always thought of him as a gangly boy, but I realised that that was all relative. Compared to the likes of Jacob and Sam, he was small, skinny and slight. But compared to other boys his age he must have been shooting up and filling out before their eyes. He'd probably grown six inches, and the muscles on his frame were bulking up. His shoulders were definitely broader than they had been. Even his face had matured, his jaw had become more defined.

I realised that his blood might reveal the differences that caused the accelerated maturity in werewolves. What Jacob had been through in the past year, Seth was right in the middle of.

"Before you go, Seth, I'd like to weigh and measure you. You're growing fast at the moment, and that may have a bearing on things."

"Sure!" He beamed at the thought of being more help than anticipated. It would be interesting to see what he was next time. I quickly jotted the figures down.

He skipped down the stairs, and I started packing up. The sound of the door startled me – I'd forgotten how silently they could move if they chose to.

"Leah, you surprised me!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, I know. Why would the grumpy bitch help?" She scowled at me and came to sit where I was working, thrusting out her arm. "Come on then." She spoke it as a challenge.

"Are you sure about this, Leah? I know you are not keen on us."

"That's a bit of an understatement! But you know what? I _hate_ being a werewolf." She looked into my eyes and I could see the depth of her feelings. "If what you're doing can stop that, then you can have my blood any day."

"Okay. Do you want me to just use it for research, or are you willing to let Rosalie have some too?" I could see that she was hurting, and if that option made it easier for her, then it was one I was willing to offer.

"She can have it. I know where she's coming from." She looked away before continuing, "I get the whole genetic dead end thing."

"Genetic dead end?"

I knelt beside her as I inserted the line and set the bag down. She turned back to look at me with pain in her expression, her teeth gritted hard together. Then she exploded, the pent up emotions filled her voice. "Yeah! Not only did the _damn werewolf_ thing take the man I loved, but it's taken any future I had too. I'm never going to imprint because my insides are shrivelled up like _prunes_ – I can't ever have kids because of the _damn werewolf_ thing!"

I kept my gaze away from her as she composed herself. She seemed to be like Rosalie in that way, hated being seen vulnerable too.

"I can help, if you want me to. I've many years experience in all medical fields. It could be reversible," I explained.

"Yeah right! Reverse the menopause? Like that's possible."

"It might not be that –"

She cut me off. "I've had tests and scans! My ovaries have shrivelled up, nothing going on down there AT ALL. How can you fix that?" Her eyes flashed with anger and barely restrained tears.

"I don't know, Leah. But if it means so much to you, would you allow me to try?" I asked.

She looked away, leaving the question unanswered. Unless she expressly told me not to, I knew of a few tests I could carry out on her blood that might give me a few pointers.

"Are you done yet?" She spoke through gritted teeth.

"All done." I removed the needle and she got up to leave immediately. "Please take it easy for a while, okay?"

She shut the door without a word. I put her blood aside. I wanted a look at that before I gave it to Rosalie.

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**Shameless plug: Just in case you're like me, and skip over anything written at the top to get on with the story. I've entered three short stories into the Quickie Contest. They're voting this week, finishing on the 8th April. I know it's only a couple of days, but PLEASE have a look and vote for the ones you like. One might be mine! The link is on my profile.**

**Also, I'm in need of car advice for Esme. What would Rosalie recommend for her?**

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	11. Chapter 11: Misunderstanding

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. All mistakes are mine. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you RedSummer, you rock! :o)**

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**Leah's POV**

Carlisle had looked so genuinely concerned it was hard to remain angry with him. Instead, I was angry with the situation, and that clouded my perception of him and his offer. I hadn't said he couldn't help, but I didn't know if I could hand my future into his care quite as easily as he hoped. I needed an outlet for my feelings, and anger at everyone seemed to help. But it made me act like a bitch, and I hadn't been one before all this started.

As I came down the stairs, I caught sight of Jasper and felt nothing but sharp antagonism for him. It was satisfying to see him flinch. Then I saw Jacob, and my stomach flipped and the deepest core of me clenched at the remembered passion. Jasper flinched again causing embarrassment and frustration to scorch their way up my back and colour my cheeks. Damn empath! I turned away from them both and sat on the steps outside the house.

I heard Carlisle call Jasper to his office and ask Rosalie to come up afterwards. Rosalie I could understand, but Jasper?

I thought about Jasper and what had happened that evening with Jacob. It had caught us both by surprise, but it had also brought some feelings closer to the surface than either of us were comfortable with. I knew he couldn't love me; his future was too bound to Nessie's for that ever to be a possibility. I wasn't bothered, I couldn't love him either. But what I had realised, was that it wasn't his love that I needed. Instead, I wanted to feel desired, to be wanted as a beautiful and sexual being. That part of me had been so completely stripped away when I'd phased for the first time. I was the girly wolf, neither one thing nor the other. Not completely accepted as a werewolf, merely tolerated and endured, and no longer viewed as desirable woman, but one to be pitied and disregarded after Sam's imprint.

The evening that Jasper had let go I had felt so deeply wanted and needed, taken and fulfilled. I rediscovered the missing part of me and revelled in it. It had made me feel good about myself, complete again. The morning after had taken it all away, but it was worse because I knew what I was missing. I had forced Jacob, under Jasper's influence, into doing things he regretted. He couldn't meet my eyes. He closely guarded his thoughts when we ran, and the ease of our friendship had disappeared. That had hurt worse than Sam's betrayal, as I had just managed to put my tentative trust in Jacob. He knew everything about me. He knew why I was hurting right now, but because our friendship was shattered I got no comfort from that knowledge.

I picked myself up and went back into the house. Rosalie was sat curled up with Emmett. Her eyes were black and she had deep bruises under them. She had lost all hint of colour, her pallor was closer to grey and even her lips were white. I didn't know a lot about vampires, but even I could tell that she really needed to feed. At least there was enough blood upstairs to keep her going. She would get her chance to be a mother – that thought hurt me deeply. I was intensely jealous.

We heard Carlisle's door open and close. "Rosalie?" Jasper called down, "Carlisle would like to see you now."

Rosalie squeezed Emmett and left to go upstairs. She walked at human pace. It seemed to be for our benefit, as if she were trying not to seem too keen. She must have been desperate to get up those stairs knowing what was waiting for her in that room. Jasper placed a hand on her arm as she passed him, a touch full of comfort and support, accompanied by a gentle smile. I looked away, their closeness as a family was something that I'd all but lost, something that I'd thrown away since I'd phased. My eyes met Jacob's and my stomach flipped again and my emotions roiled. He looked away quickly.

"Right! That's it. I've had enough of you two." Jasper glared at Jacob and I. "We need to talk outside, now." He walked to the door expecting us to follow. When we didn't, he stopped and turned. "We can talk in here if you want," he said, pointedly glancing around at everyone else. We got the hint and reluctantly followed him until we were well out of the range of vampire hearing, although I was sure Edward could still eavesdrop if he chose to.

We stopped in a small clearing that had been used before. The burnt remains of a fire scarred the dirt. I stood one side and Jacob stood the other, both of us refusing to look at Jasper or each other.

Jasper threw his hands up in exasperation. "Okay, I'm sorry. I should have given you more time to get away, but this is getting ridiculous! I'm fed up of getting the brunt of your anger and antagonism, and that's not even mentioning the emotions flying between you both. I've had enough. Now, for goodness sake, will you two stop acting like petulant, misunderstood teenagers and actually _talk_ to each other?"

Jacob and I looked at each other briefly and quickly broke the embarrassing eye contact.

"Fine. If you won't tell each other how you feel, then I will be forced to show you. Is that what you want?" Jasper paced between us. Our silence continued. He stopped, put his hands on his hips, and hit us hard with need and desire, finishing up with pure lust. I could barely stand.

"That's enough, Jasper," Jacob growled. He stood with his fists clenched by his sides, shaking so violently he looked as if he were trying very hard not to phase.

"That wasn't me! That's what I'm getting off of you EVERY time you catch sight of each other. Do you want a dose of what I feel?" he asked angrily, before slamming into us with a hefty hit of frustration and indignation.

I looked at Jacob with my mouth open in astonishment, he looked equally bewildered. Jasper sent arousal and deep need back in our direction.

"Now TALK!" he shouted as he stalked off. "I _will_ know if you haven't," he called back through the trees.

That last hit of arousal was still surging around my body as I looked at Jacob again. I saw it reflected in his eyes. "I thought you regretted what had happened? I thought you were angry with me. You blocked me, wouldn't talk to me."

He shook his head. "Never, Leah. I thought you were offended because I used you when you knew I could never love you in that way." He walked up close to me, but still not able to touch me. "I had to block you. I was embarrassed at the thoughts running through my head. I didn't want you to see them if you were angry at me."

I looked at him quizzically. "I was never angry at you. Only at Jasper for breaking the tentative friendship that we'd managed to build. Why would you need to be embarrassed, Jacob? You said there wasn't anything left between us to be embarrassed about."

"Leah, I may be a mature werewolf on the outside, but inside I'm still an excessively horny teenager. I'm not sure how to express all those feelings and I certainly couldn't contain them when I was alone. I have imagined you, dreamt of you every night. How could I not, you completely blew my mind. If I hadn't blocked those thoughts, I would have embarrassed myself in front of you just as badly as I am doing right now." He gestured to his bulging shorts. I didn't need to guess what he'd been imagining. I'd had some pretty good dreams at his expense too.

"I need you, Leah. Not to love, because I know I can't, but as a lover and a friend. Is that enough for you?"

"That is exactly what I need right now. I need to be wanted and desired. Is that enough for you?" I asked and stood on my toes to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me tight against his body, pushing his hot erection hard into my stomach. In answer to my question, he kissed me deeply and passionately. I melted in his arms as his hand snaked into my hair.

**Jacob's POV**

I kissed Leah deeply, burying my fingers in her hair. It was wonderful finally having the confusion and misunderstanding of the previous weeks behind us. I'd thought we were going to be alright that first morning, right up to the point where my Dad came in. Then Leah had overheard our _chat_ where I'd tried, and probably failed, to minimise the impact of what I'd done. That couldn't have been further from the truth – my world had been completely rocked.

What a way to have lost my virginity – two hours of totally wild, mind blowing sex! In reality, I'd vaguely expected a quick fumble in the back of the Rabbit once it was going. I'd also fantasised many scenarios featuring Bella, but that was before my chances were completely crushed. After imprinting on Nessie, sex hadn't crossed my mind, it was something that could happen in the future, eventually. I didn't think of Nessie in that way at all.

I was, however, a red blooded male and after that kind of sexual awakening I couldn't get Leah out of my head. Every time I closed my eyes I remembered vividly the feel of her touching me, her body on me, around me. There was no way I could sleep until I'd found some release. So when I'd next seen Leah at the Cullens and her eyes had flashed with barely suppressed anger, I'd really thought I was in trouble. As the days had passed and she wouldn't look at me, I'd just felt worse and worse about my nightly fantasies.

I knew I needed to say something, but every day I put it off the harder it became. It didn't help that as the days passed my errant teenage sexual urges had begun to dominate my mind. Each time I saw Leah I'd start off with the full intention of talking to her, but then I'd start imagining her naked in the forest that night screaming out my name. That caused my shorts to get embarrassingly tight and I'd turn away.

I was immensely glad all that confusion was over, and that I could at last give into my desires. I broke from the kiss, breathing heavily, and stroked my fingers down her cheek, over her lips and down her throat to her body. Trailing them down her cleavage and along her ribs until I clasped her waist in my hand. I slid my hand under the cloth of her t-shirt and felt the heat of her skin beneath my palm. The heat coiling in the pit of my stomach surged and it was as if all sense had suddenly left me, or as if Jasper had let rip.

I struggled desperately with Leah's clothes, trying to undress her at the same time as she undressed me. The sensation of her skin against mine was overpowering. I could feel the heat gather tightly in the base of my balls, and creep into my spine. I pushed her down onto our discarded clothes, almost frantic in my need. Her breaths came in quick gasps and moans, and she ran her hands down my back until she dug her nails into my ass. I bit her shoulder in response, growling.

I felt for her hot wetness and thrust in hard. The delicious feeling of her clamped tight around me caused heat to surge through me, intensifying in my balls and racing up my back. I tried in vain to suppress it, to keep it contained before it sent me over the edge. I pulled out again and knew I was lost.

"Oh no! Fuck…" I muttered as I struggled to remain in control for a few seconds more. I didn't have a chance. I thrust in twice more before I lost my fight against the intensity and came hard.

"Shit! No… Sorry…" I mumbled into Leah's neck. I was mortified. After all those amazing fantasies I blew my wad just like the teenager I was. I buried my face in Leah's shoulder, embarrassed.

"Jacob, look at me, please," Leah said gently right into my ear. Her breath on my skin made me shiver. I couldn't.

"Jacob, there is no way on earth that you could possibly match the control of a hundred and something year old vampire. Not without a LOT of practice. So, please stop beating yourself up for being a completely normal, 'excessively horny teenager'. Okay?" She ran one fingernail up my spine forcing another shiver through my body.

I lifted my head, but still couldn't quite meet her eyes. "I'm sor –" I started, but she put her fingers on my lips.

"Enough! Now will you please kiss me so we can get on with practicing?" she asked as I finally met her eyes – they sparkled with amusement, and desire. I did as she asked, determined to make up for losing it quite so dramatically the first time.

I deepened the kiss and held her tight to me. Then I released her and feasted my eyes on her body for a moment. Her eyes were closed and her lips parted, her head was tipped back just a bit in anticipation. I kissed along the edge of her jaw, behind her ear and down to her collar bone. I traced my tongue around one hard nipple and she arched into me. I took it into my mouth and sucked and nibbled it before moving to the other, enticing whimpers and moans from her.

My hand ran down to her thigh, and I pushed it up high and tight against her chest. My fingers stroked her inner thigh as I moved down to kiss her stomach. I circled her belly-button with my tongue leaving ticklish, wet patterns on her skin, then I slid down further avoiding her centre, but pausing long enough for a hot breath over her wet folds to send her arching into me again. I turned, and kissed her thigh, working slowly closer to her core.

"Damn you, Jacob! Please…" she pleaded as I started kissing the other thigh.

I slipped her leg over my shoulder, and watched her reaction as I finally slipped two fingers into her. She moaned and writhed, gasping in pleasure. She was so wet, both her juices and mine combined. I pushed my fingers in deep and my thumb just grazed her clitoris.

"Uunnngh, Jacob! Yes! More right there…" she panted.

I rubbed circles over the hard little nub I could feel, and Leah lost it, gasping and crying out. I worked my fingers hard into her, enjoying her reaction. The animal passion in her moans revived me, and I could feel myself growing hard again.

"Curl them up…" she groaned. I curled my fingers into the softness inside her and rubbed her bundle of oversensitive nerves. "Oh, Fuck! Yes!" Whatever I was doing, I was doing it right! I smiled and slid another finger inside.

She arched her back right off the ground and impulsively I ran my tongue over her clitoris. Her hands shot into my hair and her cries became almost feral. I could feel her tightening around my fingers. My tongue worked circles around her nub as she held me tight to her, her hips thrusting in response. She was beyond coherence as moans and growls escaped her with every breath. My fingers thrust inside in time with her hips and when I closed my lips around her nub and sucked, she bucked as if electricity were surging though her.

"OhfuckJACOB… Uunnngh… don'tstop!" She could barely get the words out between her animal moans. I sucked harder, and thrust deeper, her entire body was tense and thrumming as she hovered at the edge. I pushed her that little bit more, running my tongue over her clitoris as I sucked. She came undone in my arms, crying out my name. I could feel the powerful spasms rock through her, clamping tight on my fingers as she came on my hand and face.

I felt immensely powerful all of a sudden. I had done that to her without any outside help from Jasper. She was absolutely irresistible with her face and chest flushed from her orgasm, still gasping as the spasms subsided. I gently pulled my fingers out and she moaned, reaching for me. I could feel the heat beginning to coil in my balls and I tried my hardest to push it away, to control it before it took over. After a moment, I moved over Leah and gently pushed inside her excruciatingly tight heat.

A ripple of her aftershock squeezed me and I fought the sensations, not daring to move until the precarious moment had passed. I found a rhythm I could manage, while keeping the coiling heat from breaking away from me. I couldn't stop it building and my thrusts became wilder as the intensity grew. Leah's nails raked my back and her legs wrapped around me tightly, forcing me deep. It only allowed me to rock against her, but the tiny movements drove her to distraction, and the intense friction brought her close to the edge.

"Cum! For fuck's sake, cum! I…. I…" She groaned deeply as I felt her tighten around me. Dropping my limited control, I let the fire rip though my balls and up my back. I plunged into Leah as the ripples of her orgasm massaged my length and I let go with a deep feral groan.

We lay tangled together on the ground, our breathing heavy and sweat slick on our bodies.

"Damn, Jacob. That's one hell of a fucking improvement!" Leah grinned cheekily. It was a look I hadn't seen on her face for a very long time and it made me smile in return.

"Well, I've got to admit it would have been nearly impossible to do any worse!" I pointed out, a bit more relaxed about it after redeeming myself. She laughed; it was a wonderfully free sound – something else I hadn't heard for a long time. I hoped the smiles and laughter meant a return to the carefree pre-wolf Leah.

"I can hear a waterfall nearby. Want to freshen up before we head back?" I asked as I pulled away from her. I held out my hand.

"That sounds good," she replied as I pulled her to her feet. "Race you?" She phased and shot through the trees. I was soon giving chase, but the chances of catching her were near impossible given the head start she had on me. We reached the waterfall in no time and without pausing she leapt, as a wolf, straight into the middle of the splash pool. She re-surfaced naked and human, and lay back to float on the surface. I growled deeply and leapt after her. What was the rush to get back?

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	12. Chapter 12: Discovery

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. All mistakes are mine. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you RedSummer :o)**

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**Nomad's POV**

It was a relief to be away from the Southerner, I could feel her subtle efforts to manipulate me. It wasn't strong enough to be called a true gift, but it was certainly a little more than normal. I'd felt it in her from her first words, trying to pull me into conversation. I took refuge in the only evasion that would work – silence. She kept trying to draw me out, and after that conversation about the Cullens, I grew weary of the constant subterfuge and let my own gift out just enough to curb her efforts. The days passed uneventfully after that.

Her comments had sparked my curiosity. I was sure it wasn't quite a simple as she'd made it sound. The Cullens didn't strike me as people who 'confronted' others, they were too defensive of their lifestyle to risk it. I suspected that she was the one who had done the confronting, that seemed to fit her background far more than theirs. She had implied that they were hiding something, trying to manoeuvre me into doing her bidding, but my curiosity hinged around the child.

Memories of my own child rose, and I squashed them harshly.

Free of the Southerner's manipulations, I'd had time to think over our conversation. It had raised a lot of questions in my mind. I decided to do of my own volition what she had previously tried to coerce me into. I was going to talk to the Cullens, to find our about their life and their child. If they were hiding something, as the Southerner suspected, I would find that out too.

I was in no rush. I'd fed before I left Seattle, and then moved through the forest until I found the edges of their territory, although they wouldn't call it that. I moved along its boundaries, scenting the pungent odour of the werewolves overlapping their own. It seemed to have been pushed out further since the confrontation with the Volturi. I followed it from the coast to the North through the Olympic National Park to the coast to the West. The last stretch of the invisible boundary held no scent of vampires, but was heavily overlaid with many other werewolf scents. A territory within a territory?

I returned to an area where the boundary was less defined, and where the scents of the vampires broke through into the National Park. It seemed as good a place as any to wait to meet the Cullens. I had no wish to alienate them, or to meet a werewolf face to face on unfriendly terms. After all the recent confrontations, I imagined that their defences would be high.

I hadn't survived my three hundred and sixty years without a few fights, but generally I avoided others of my kind. I was no coward, but vampires living in any number tended to end up destroying each other. There were the Volturi of course, but their relationships were artificially bound by one of their gifted. Chelsea held all the guard loyal and kept the three ancients close. Without her they wouldn't be able to co-exist, the desire to kill would be too great. There was no loyalty among them beyond that which she had generated.

Large groups existed in the South where extreme violence was part of their day to day life. Newborns were a commodity to be created, used, and destroyed at a whim. Older vampires had survived by proving their worth, either through gifts or fighting skill, but they were still treated as the possessions of their creators. They were kept in the dark about life outside the South so they knew no better, and to leave meant being hunted down and killed.

The Southern Wars over territory still continued to this very day, but underneath the notice of the Volturi. The Southerner I'd met didn't have the demeanour of a subordinate and she showed no sign of fear at being hunted. She acted as if she were used to being obeyed, which meant that she was probably a leader of one of the Southern Clans, and as such was a highly dangerous individual.

Then there were the Cullens and the Denalis. The largest covens ever to be living willingly and peaceably together, to my knowledge, and both of which had shunned the normal vampire diet. The Cullens had grown in the past fifty years from five, which was still a notably high number for vampires, to nine. When threatened, they had gathered allies around them and amassed an amazing twenty-six vampires. There were no fights, they were not artificially bound, and they referred to themselves as family and friends – human concepts not characteristic of our supernatural world.

When I was human all I'd wanted was a normal life, nothing special, and I'd achieved that. A job I enjoyed and that paid well enough to get a small house, a beautiful wife who I adored and who was pregnant with our child. I'd been immensely happy. Right up until the night it had all been taken away. I desperately craved that normality ever since.

Did the Cullens hold the secret to getting that back?

**Carlisle's POV**

I took several samples from Leah's blood and put them aside, and then I asked Jasper to come up for a quick chat before sending Rosalie up. I'd asked him to please help sort out whatever was going on between Jacob and Leah. He didn't look keen, but I pointed out it was all down to him and he left reluctantly. I heard him call Rosalie and then waste no time in getting Jacob and Leah outside. I sincerely hoped they could work though their problems and come back as friends again.

Rosalie shut the door quietly behind her and came and sat at my desk. The day had taken its toll and the final hint of silver had left her eyes. She needed to feed immediately.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I pulled the cooler of blood toward me. I grabbed a bag and snipped the tube before offering it to my daughter.

"Humbled," she said as she took the bag from me. She drank it greedily, like a kid sucking from a juice carton. I just kept handing her bags. As she drank the dark bruises beneath her eyes faded, the colour returned to her lips, and her eyes became sparkling silver again. As pain of her thirst finally subsided, she relaxed visibly and settled back into the chair smiling at me.

"What now, Doctor Cullen?" she asked.

"Now we wait. I want to examine you in a couple of days to see how you're progressing. We only have Bella's pregnancy as a reference. I believe this is going to be similar, but also very different in that you are not human, and therefore better able to carry the child. We'll take each day as it comes, and keep a close eye on you," I explained. "You can go now, but please take it easy until we're sure. No leaping through the trees or wrestling bears!" I said as she got up to leave.

"What, no bears at all?" She smiled. She'd got my hint to take it easy with Emmett too.

"Not the really wild ones, okay?" I smiled back.

"Okay, Grandpa," she joked as she went out of the door. Her throw-away comment brought home to me the fact that my family was growing, but in a way that I had never anticipated, only ever dreamed about.

I grabbed Leah's blood samples and turned to the machines that would give me some clues as to what was going on.

I checked the results again. I'd already carried out the test twice as the answers I saw did not match what Leah had described at all. They came back the same. Leah was not menopausal; in fact she was quite the opposite. If I hadn't been so sure she wasn't having fertility treatment, then that would have been the conclusion I'd draw from the figures in front of me. I shook my head, baffled.

The symptoms Leah described perfectly matched the diagnosis she'd been given. No egg production, suppressed hormones. In the space of six months or so, that had completely reversed. Despite my photographic memory, I reached for the books that should have held the answers, but I found nothing new in their pages. I pulled my laptop from its draw and placed it on my desk, determined to find the solution somewhere.

I'd trawled through all the medical journals I could find, every website remotely associated with fertility and reproduction, or ageing and menopause. Still nothing. Then I had a thought so obvious I felt stupid for having missed it. I searched the internet for information on wolf reproduction. I read, and the answers lay there in black and white before me. She hadn't been infertile, she just hadn't been in season, and that was about to change.

"Jasper!" I called out as I shot out the door, "where's Leah?" I asked, but I had a horrible suspicion.

"I left her and Jacob in the woods to _talk_. Why? That's what you asked me to do, wasn't it?" Jasper asked concerned, he must have picked up my anxiety.

"Talk, yes. But I'm guessing from your tone that they aren't going to be doing much talking. Dare I ask what their problem really was?"

"Misunderstanding mainly. They acted like they couldn't stand the sight of each other, but what they were feeling was complete the opposite. I just let them know what the other was feeling and left them to it. Was that wrong?"

Jasper must have felt my anxiety ratchet up another notch. I'd been way off the mark with those two, and I'd just made it a whole lot worse.

"No, Jasper. You weren't wrong, I was. Very, very wrong," I explained, and slumped on the sofa next to him. "I should have spoken to you before interfering. I didn't understand they felt that way, but it makes sense now. Life is going to get very interesting in the next few weeks."

"Now you've got me worried! What the hell is going on?" He looked completely confused.

"I need to double check when she gets back, but I'm pretty certain that Leah's coming into season, and that is going to throw both packs into complete turmoil."

"Oh… and that affects us because…?"

"No male werewolf in the area will be thinking straight, and they tend to spend a lot of time here now," I pointed out.

"Nice! I'll go batten down the hatches and hole up for the duration then!" He laughed, then his focus suddenly shifted to outside. "They're coming back, but at least they're in a better mood now. Good luck with that particular discussion!" He clapped me on the shoulder and went off, probably to find Alice. Not that she'd see anything associated with the werewolves, but she might catch glimpses around the edges if it impacted us.

Leah and Jacob walked across the lawn together, their easy friendship had returned, but there was a new closeness to it. Great! I got to knock it all down again.

"Leah! Thank Goodness you're back. I need to talk to you urgently," I called to her. Her head shot up and her characteristic look of annoyance flitted across her face, but it was quickly replaced by worry when she saw the look on mine. Jacob squeezed her shoulder, and then she jogged towards me.

"News?" She asked, interested.

"Lots," I replied to her and then turned back to Jacob. "Don't go far, Jacob. I need to talk to you too."

"Sure, sure!" He grinned back.

I ushered Leah back to my office where she took in the disarray of paper, books, test tubes and equipment. I normally kept my office immaculate.

"Been busy?" she asked quizzically.

"Just a bit, Leah. You have given me a lot to think about." I sat her down in front of my desk and went to sit behind it. It felt more comfortable to hold this conversation as doctor and patient.

"I have tested your blood, twice as a matter of fact, and the results are surprising. What I can confirm is that you are not menopausal. What I can't confirm is exactly what state you are in right now. I would very much like to have a look at your ovaries under ultrasound, if you will let me."

She looked shocked and scared. "What? It's not bad is it?"

"No, I'm pretty certain that it's not bad. Unexpected, definitely, but not bad as in something wrong."

"How unexpected?" She didn't look reassured.

"It might be best if you read this first," I explained as I turned my laptop towards her. The page on the screen was one that explained wolf reproduction in a simple and concise way. I watched her face as she read; confusion, recognition, understanding, shock.

"I'm in SEASON!" she exclaimed and turned to me, wide-eyed.

"It's looking that way. That's why I'd like to take a look at your ovaries. If there are eggs ready to be released then that will either prove or disprove my theory," I said.

"Eggs? Plural?" Her eyes narrowed.

"Wolves have litters," I spoke quietly, but the words still made her blanch.

"WHAT!"

"Shall we have a look?" I asked and gestured to the screened examination table. She got up fast and disappeared behind the curtain. I came round a moment later and soon had a picture up on the screen, relaxing immediately when I saw that her eggs hadn't released, and weren't looking like they would for a few more days yet. My afternoon's interference wouldn't have long term effects.

"Okay. There are definitely eggs ready to be released, probably within the next week or so." I felt her relax under my hands. She must have been worried too.

"There are three eggs ready on your right ovary, and two, maybe three, on your left. So, I guess that confirms the theory." I looked away from the screen and back to Leah. Her expression was one of concern.

"Here you go, clean yourself up and hop down," I instructed as I handed her a cloth to wipe up the gel. "I'll be back at my desk when you're ready."

"What now? Does that mean I might imprint?" she asked as she sat down.

"I don't fully understand the imprinting of werewolves, but I don't think that will happen in your case. Imprinting seems to be to ensure that the werewolf genes get passed on."

"So, why not in my case?"

"Because there is no concern over the quality of the genes you would pass on. You wouldn't need to imprint, as the Alpha female always mates with –"

"The Alpha male!" she wailed, then buried her head in her hands. "What a fucking mess!"

"If it's any consolation, that's why you've been drawn to each other recently."

"Yeah, great! Some consolation," she mumbled into her hands. "And what happens when I'm actually in season?"

"For that discussion, we need to include Jacob. He's going to have a tough time of it."

"What? Trying to make puppies!" she spat back at me.

"No, Leah. He'll have to be protecting you to ensure that the rest of your pack and Sam's pack _don't_ succeed in making puppies." Her mouth snapped shut as my words sunk in.

"All of them?" she said in a small choked voice.

"From what I've read this afternoon, it seems that the hormones released affect all males in the vicinity. Not just the Alpha."

"Oh, shit. I'll go get Jacob then." She sounded a bit shell-shocked. I guessed it was a lot to take in all at once.

When they returned, Leah looked no better. Jacob sat down and shot me a very disgruntled look. After all, they had only just made up after their previous misunderstanding, and I'd just made it a whole lot worse again.

"So, what is going on? Leah wouldn't say," Jacob asked.

"Well, it appears that Leah isn't infertile after all –" I managed to start.

He turned swiftly to Leah with panic on his face. "No! You're not? Are you? Oh, shit, Leah. I'm sorry!" She shook her head in answer and he slumped back into the chair. "Thank god for that! My Dad would have skinned me alive!"

"Don't relax just yet, Jacob. There's more. It appears that Leah is now more closely following a wolf's reproductive cycle, which means that once a year she'll come into season." Jacob sat up and looked hard at me.

"And…?" he asked.

"At some point in the next week or so Leah will actually come into season. If it follows what happens with wolves, then she will release a hormone that will drive every male who smells it to want to mate with her."

"Oh, fuck." He looked startled.

"As Alpha, you are the dominant male. In wolf hierarchy that means you would normally mate with the Alpha female and defend her from subordinates who try to take advantage of the situation. It's also why you have been drawn to each other recently."

"So I've got to mate with her and protect her from the rest of the pack?" he asked aghast.

"No, Jacob. You have a much harder job than that. You have to _not_ mate with her, whilst protecting her from the rest of your pack and Sam's pack. All the while you will be just as affected by the hormones that are driving the rest of them wild."

"Great, you make that sound so easy." His retort came out slightly strangled and heavy with sarcasm.

"Jacob, it's exceedingly important that Leah does not get pregnant while she's on the wolf reproductive cycle," I cautioned.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because wolves have litters," Leah replied quietly, "and I don't want six at once."

Jacob nearly choked.

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	13. Chapter 13: Rant

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta RedSummer :o)**

* * *

**Alice's POV**

I lay on our bed staring at the ceiling, alternately watching the patterns of the day's fading light shift across the expanse of white, and closing my eyes and searching for the future. Jacob had screwed it all up when he'd offered his blood to Rosalie, but even then I could see glimpses around the edges of the blank spots and haze induced by the werewolves, and Nessie for that matter. The events of the past twenty four hours, however, had thrown everything out of focus.

Occasionally, Rosalie would re-appear, and more frequently Esme or I would disappear. The increased presence of the wolves clouded the rest. No member of our family was clear anymore. I took the fact that Rosalie re-appeared occasionally to be good news about the pregnancy. I didn't know what to make of the rest, especially when Esme disappeared. It began to give me a headache – not as bad as when Bella was pregnant, but enough to make me want to seek out a werewolf and that was the most likely cause of my disappearances.

I'd got flickers of a big city, Seattle possibly. Maria was staying in the area one minute, leaving to go south the next, coming back toward us a moment later – completely undecided. I'd also seen a face I didn't recognise, more than once, but it had begun to appear in the forest near our hunting grounds. A nomad maybe? He appeared to be heading in our direction, but indecision made pinpointing where and when impossible.

I opened my eyes again and focused on the shifting patterns of light.

Suddenly, I had a clear image of Carlisle racing down the stairs and then his conversation with Jasper about Leah. It went hazy as Jasper headed for the stairs. I smiled. I always saw Jasper the clearest. It had always been that way. Leah being in season was in interesting twist. There was no way I could see the chaos that would cause, but I searched anyway. I saw Emmett squirting water from a hose and laughing. What was that about?

The door opened and Jasper came in. The bed shifted under his weight as he sat next to me. "Alice, Darlin', you know what Carlisle said about pushing for visions. That'll only make it worse," he said with concern in his voice.

"I know, my love. I can't help it. It stops me thinking of other things," I said and opened my eyes. He lay close to me, propped on one elbow. His golden eyes betrayed his worry and his mouth was set in a firm line. It had been so long since I had seen his easy, irresistible, lopsided smile. Ever since Maria attacked it had appeared false, when I saw it at all. I ran my finger down his cheek and the false smile stretched his lips but didn't reach his eyes.

"What things?" He asked as he wrapped me in his arms and pulled me close to his chest.

"Things I don't want to think about right now!" I lifted my hands to his face and pulled him down to me for a kiss.

"You can't hide them from me, Alice. I feel them anyway, how they affect you. Right now, I'm hurting as badly as you are, but I'm feeling shut out and pushed away too. I've never known you so quiet. Your spark has gone, and that's got me worried sick." His fingers trailed through my hair, brushing the dark spikes from my face.

"I don't know where to start. I really don't. There are so many 'things' going around my head at the moment that I doubt even Edward would be able to pick out a single coherent thought." I rubbed my temples in a vain effort to ease the headache that was building.

"I can't stand to see you, or feel you, in pain, Alice. I don't care how incoherent it is, please, talk to me," he pleaded as he stared into my eyes with such love. I felt it creeping through me, as if he were trying to hold it back and failing. He knew I didn't like to be soothed when I was angry, not unless I asked him to or the situation demanded it. Sometimes, I just needed to have a big emotional rant and get over it. I felt the sob building in my throat.

"BABIES!" I burst out, and buried my face in his chest. "They're all having babies! Everyone except me!" I sat up and counted them on my fingers, "Bella got pregnant. Now Rosalie is. Even the damn werewolves! Sam's Emily, and now it seems Leah can too. Everyone is so fucking _fertile_ all of a sudden and it's NOT FAIR!" Jasper looked stunned. I don't think he had ever heard me swear before.

"It never bothered me before. I had you and that's all that mattered. It was never a possibility so I didn't worry about it. Not like Esme or Rosalie. But NOW! Now it _is_ possible and I want it so badly it hurts. I wasn't expecting to feel this way. I want to have your baby, Jasper." I collapsed back onto his chest and cried, dry-eyed, into his shirt. He wasn't breathing. Had I caught him so badly by surprise?

"But that's not all. I am terrified for Rosalie and Emmett, for what they had to promise today. No one is infallible, but they've had to… to…" I drew in a deep shuddering breath. "We're going to have to help them, Jasper. Because if they fail they will die and I can't bear for that to happen. It will destroy Carlisle and Esme. It will rip our family apart.

We've been through that once already, when Edward was _foolish_ enough to think he could be apart from Bella. It took all the happiness, all the life, out of every one of us. We couldn't even be in the same room together without feeling the gaping hole of his absence. What is it going to be like if all three have to die? Rosalie, Emmett and the child?"

"But –"

"But NOTHING, Jasper Whitlock! You wanted me to talk, now hear me out!" He shut his mouth with a snap, actually shocked.

"Ever since I woke up to this life I have been able to 'see' things. It is part of who I am. I cannot remember it ever being any other way. Right now, I can't see and it feels like I've lost a limb, like I've lost a part of myself, like I'm not _me_ anymore. If something happens to any of us, not just Rosalie and Emmett, it would kill me inside knowing that if I could have seen it, I could have stopped it.

AND that fucking Maria is still hanging about. I never understood why you were so overprotective. You used to drive me MAD! I mean, I'm an immortal, super-strong, prescient vampire, what could possibly hurt me? But now I know. Now I've had to fight her I understand. She's like nothing I've ever experienced before, and if I have to fight her again I know I will die. It was all I could do to stay alive, and that was with my sight. Without it I am nothing. I've never been so scared, Jasper."

"Oh, Darlin'," he said softly and enveloped me with love. I felt his protectiveness enfold me, the relief it brought left me shaking.

A vision wrenched me away from Jasper, clear and sharp.

_The nomad sat waiting. He showed no impatience. He was in the Olympic Park to the East. Outside the boundary the werewolves' had defined, but within our hunting range. _

The vision changed, the snow was deeper.

_He approached us with an open smile and open palms, gestures of peace. _

It lost focus and faded – Werewolves?

It changed again.

_The nomad looked different. It took me a moment to take in his eyes, no longer burgundy, but golden. He looked contrite, appeared to be pleading. _

I couldn't hear what he said, the growing haze also muffled his words.

_Relief suddenly filled his face and he walked towards us._

I sat up and shook my head as I came out of the vision. The clarity of it had thrown me.

"Oh!" I said in surprise. "We're going to have a visitor, a Nomad. I think he's curious. I think he's waiting now, but we don't meet him the first time until after the next snow. He changes his diet before he crosses our border," I conveyed to Jasper.

"Any idea when that would be?" he asked seriously.

"His eyes were completely red the first time. The second time they were darker, so maybe, about a week later. When I saw him the last time his eyes were golden with no shades of red, as if he'd just fed on an empty stomach. Maybe another week? What do you think?" I answered as clearly as I could. Jasper sat tall and straight, focused. The Major in him analysed my words.

"It sounds as if he's no immediate threat, but we should warn the others. I don't think we should go out hunting alone for a while either, just until we're sure. We need to speak to Jacob too. His views on our non-vegetarian guests may well have changed. Maybe that's why the nomad didn't cross with red eyes."

Jasper's far-away focus suddenly shifted back to me and took in my strained features. The vision had dragged me from the intensity of my rant, but none of the issues I'd raised had been resolved. The emotions were still coursing around my system, and Jasper was minutely aware of them. He shifted himself back on the bed and sat up against the headboard, pulling me into his lap.

"I think we need to talk first," he said softly into my hair. "But I want to calm you so we can think clearly. Will you allow me?" I nodded against his chest. The love and protectiveness came first, and made me feel safe. Then the soothing calm that followed slowed my racing thoughts. "Okay now?" He asked.

"Much better. Where do you want to start?" I replied.

"I want to start with Maria. I was with her for twenty two years before I escaped thanks to Peter and Charlotte. At the end of that time, I was pretty sure Maria was planning to kill me. I know exactly what she's like and exactly what she's capable of. Every moment since I met you it's been in the back of my mind. That's why I've been so protective. I'm immensely relieved that you now understand the full extent of the threat she poses. Will you please let me protect you now? Let me keep you safe until she is totally destroyed, fire and ashes at our feet. That's all I've ever wanted."

"Always, Jasper. I've never had to live in fear of my life before, and I hate it. I promise I will do anything you think necessary until she is gone. I won't push you away, and I'll never call you 'overprotective' again. I need to feel safe, and I feel that now."

For the first time since my ignorance was so completely shattered, I felt the full force of the protectiveness that Jasper exuded, and instead of feeling stifled and patronised as I had done before, I felt truly safe. I looked up at Jasper and his smile of relief at my feelings was genuine. It sparkled in his eyes.

"Next?" I asked.

"Next – your sight. You have said before that the others rely too heavily on your visions sometimes, so this is a lesson for them too. You have just proved to me that it hasn't gone, that you can still see clearly the things outside this family that matter to us. It seems that the only reason you can't see us at the moment is due to the closeness of the werewolves. If we understand that, we can manage it. You could already see around Nessie, and that was with only a few months practice," he said reassuringly.

"But what about Esme? She keeps vanishing and that is scaring the hell out of me," I explained, my worries on her part had not yet abated.

"Let's try something," he suggested. "Can you see where Esme is now?"

I searched and after a moment the vision became clear. "Yes, she's food shopping. The wolves cleared us out."

"Okay. Can you see where Esme is tomorrow lunchtime?" He asked.

I searched again and couldn't find her. I focused harder on the following day. I saw Jasper and Emmett playing chess and Edward teaching Nessie on the piano. Then I heard Esme's laugh, but when I tried to focus in on her the vision faded. "No, not clearly. I heard her, but couldn't see her."

"Where did you hear her? What room was she in?"

"It sounded like the kitchen."

"A kitchen full of werewolves?" he suggested.

I went back to my vision, but instead of trying to see Esme, I tried to listen to what she was saying.

"_Seth Clearwater! You are impossible! Would it really be too much to wait until it's cooled down? I know you heal quickly, but there's no point burning yourself for the sake of a couple of minute's head start over your brothers. Now, give me your hand."_

"_Its fine, Esme. It'll heal in a moment."_

"_My hands are cold, it will make it heal faster."_

When I tried to focus closer on their conversation it became muffled. When I brought my focus back to the living room and just listened, it came back.

"She's in the kitchen, scolding Seth for taking food when it's too hot and burning himself _again!_" I laughed. Excited about the loophole in my visions that Jasper had just made clear for me.

He smiled at me, my favourite lopsided grin. I had to kiss him. He laughed as I broke away.

"Feeling better then?" He smirked.

"Okay, Next!" I grinned back as each of my worries was brought down to size.

"Rosalie and Emmett. Of course we will help them. Don't you think that every one of us is feeling the impact of what they had to promise today? They're not alone. We're a family, and together we can help each other. Not one of us is going to want to slip. Not one of us would want to face the pack if we took a human life.

I am the weakest link here," he put a hand up to stop my objection, "even more so than Bella, but even I learnt the hard way just how much we would lose if I gave into the bloodlust. Every moment Edward was away, every moment our family was being ripped slowly apart, don't you think I blamed myself? I nearly lost you to the Volturi over that slip. Never again. We all have too much to lose. I'm not saying we have nothing to worry about. It _is_ going to be hard, but they are not alone," he said as he lifted my face to his and kissed me gently again.

I started shaking then. There was only one subject we hadn't yet addressed.

"Mrs Alice Whitlock, it would make me the happiest man on this earth if you could bear me a child. It isn't something I've craved, but like you, now the possibility is there, it certainly makes me think. Whatever is in that blood that makes pregnancy possible, Carlisle _will_ find it and synthesise it. He'd do that for Esme, no matter what.

While it might not be possible now, I am willing to wait another hundred years, a thousand years, if that is how long it takes. I am willing to wait another ten after that while we help raise Carlisle and Esme's child. All the while the possibility is there, I will not give up. I know that doesn't stop what you're feeling right now, but we have time. A lot of time, and I'm never leaving your side."

He was right, it didn't change my feelings about the situation we were in, but it gave me hope. He wanted a child too, and was willing to wait an eternity for the chance to become a parent. In reality, what more could I ask?

"Thank you, Mr Jasper Whitlock. That's all I needed to know, that you'll be there."

I curled peacefully against Jasper's chest and realised that his enforced calm had been lifted, and only a hint of protectiveness wrapped around me, just enough for me to know it was still there. His love was a gentle cover over both of us.

"Much as I would love to spend the rest of the week curled up here in your arms, I really think we need to tell the others about the nomad. He doesn't seem to want to cause us harm, but I'd rather that Rosalie and Emmett didn't run into him unprepared," I said softly.

"Come on then, Darlin'. I'm sure Rosalie is going to have a wardrobe crisis of epic proportions in the next few weeks, and I know you'll have fun with Emmett's credit card!" Jasper said with an evil twinkle in his eye.

"Oh? Is this a severe case of sour-grapes I see before me? Not still sulking over the beds are you?" I teased.

"Nope! The beds I could cope with. It was everything else you lot bought at the same time!" He laughed back.

"Okay, then. I'll see what damage we can do online. You thrash him at chess to keep him distracted," I offered.

"Deal!" He laughed again, whisked me into his arms, and strode out the door.

_Dark clouds gathered on the horizon. Thunder rumbled over the town. The baseball field was completely blurred, but laughter came to me as the crash of bodies echoed around the hills._

Jasper had stopped, his brow creased with concern as I came back from my vision.

"Excellent!" I cried, clapping with delight. "Thunderstorm in a couple of days!"

Jasper put me down and grinned. "Great! What are we playing this time?" he asked.

"Haven't a clue! The wolves are playing too," I replied. As his jaw dropped open, I turned and skipped down the stairs to find Rosalie.

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	14. Chapter 14: Recreation

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta RedSummer :o)**

* * *

**Rosalie's POV**

"Well, it looks like things are back on track again," Carlisle said as I looked at the minute creature on the screen. It wriggled and I felt its tiny ripple of movement in response to the press of Carlisle's hand.

"It appears to be equivalent to a fifteen week old human foetus, and that matches what we saw with Bella. Over the past two days it's grown at the rate of about a week each day, so if it carries on like this you'll be giving birth in about four weeks." Carlisle smiled widely, but I felt a small coil of concern.

"Carlisle, how will this baby be born?" I asked, expressing my worry.

"I am presuming that this will follow the natural course of childbirth in humans. Your body is changing under the influence of the werewolf blood. I don't believe you will show as much as a human would, as even under that influence your body is still… unyielding. That is enough to prevent a caesarean. So I believe you will need to give birth naturally," he explained.

"Naturally? For a vampire? Isn't that stretching the meaning of the word to its limits!" I asked slightly aghast.

"Okay, then. Vaginally," he said making his meaning clearer. "I have delivered many babies over my years as a doctor, but I'll understand if you want to talk to someone else about this. Esme is willing to explain it from a mother's perspective."

I felt a little shaken. For all my years yearning for a baby, I hadn't actually thought about the birth. Now it was a reality, less than four weeks away, I was suddenly apprehensive. I pushed the thoughts away, saving them for a moment when I could have an in depth mother-daughter heart to heart. I knew they would be painful memories, but I hoped she could remember enough to ease my fears.

"Okay, another time. Now, can I play or not?" I asked.

"What?" The sudden change of subject seemed to throw Carlisle for a moment.

"There's a storm brewing remember. Can I play? I don't want to be stuck as umpire unless you have a concrete and irrefutable reason why I should."

"Of course you can play! You're pregnant, not sick, and I see no reason why this would slow you down for a few more weeks yet."

"Excellent!" I said as I dashed from the room.

Alice was in her room changing for the games we had planned. "I can play!" I cried and leapt onto her bed. I enjoyed beating the 'boys' at their own game. I was intensely competitive and hadn't relished the thought of sitting on the sidelines.

"You best get changed then. I'm not sure what we're playing. I think Emmett and Jasper decided to try a bit of baseball, and if that doesn't work out, then a version of football."

"Why the uncertainty? I thought we were just playing baseball?" I asked.

"The wolves are playing too. Jacob wasn't keen on the idea of phasing backwards and forward to bat, catch or run," Alice laughed, a tinkling joyous sound. "He said he'd only do it if we all played naked too! You should have seen Jasper's face! He's so old fashioned sometimes." The thought got me laughing too, but I was imagining Emmett naked, sprinting around the bases, his tackle swinging.

"Might be interesting to try one day!" I spluttered as I collapsed onto the bed in fits of giggles.

"Yeah? Rather you than me! Jasper would be mortified," she said, but tried hard to suppress a smile. She gave in and flopped down next to me, laughing exuberantly.

Jasper stuck his head around the door and shot us a quizzical look. We both dissolved into laughter again. He was so straight laced. I pictured him squaring up to bat, an intensely serious look on his face, and completely butt naked. I lost it again and heard Edward's laughter from the other side of the door.

"Something funny?" Jasper asked. Alice and I were incapable of replying.

"Too damn right!" Edward replied from the hall.

Jasper disappeared and there was a scuffle outside the door, and then a loud smash into the wall. Alice and I peered around the door to see Jasper with Edward in a headlock.

"Spill it, Edward!" he growled.

"Naked baseball!" Edward laughed, incapable of really putting up a fight. He crashed to the ground as Jasper let go suddenly.

"Outside!" Esme called from her room.

"Jacob!" Jasper muttered, but even he had to break into a smile. "Come on, get ready. I'm going to make you pay for that," he said to Edward.

I shot into my room and grabbed my clothes. Alice sat on my bed chatting brightly as I changed. I pulled on my top quickly, and then froze as I went to do up my pants.

"Alice?" I said quietly.

Alice's chatter stopped as she followed my incredulous glance. There was a clear inch between the button and the button hole on my pants. Her eyes met mine and sparkled with excitement.

"Oh my goodness! This is really happening isn't it?" She said then hugged me tightly. "We can't fix that now, we'll just have to make do today." She shot off and came back with a short length of ribbon. We managed to tie the pants closed and pull the zip up nearly all the way. Thankfully my top covered the gap in between.

~o~

Alice stood on the pitcher's mound and wound up, letting fly with blinding speed. I swung and when the bat connected the crack echoed around the mountains. Jacob caught me out; he'd leapt high and snatched the ball out of the air with his teeth. I hurled a curse at him and he growled back at me. The wolves were unstoppable when they were fielding. Whilst it wasn't a wolf instinct to chase and catch balls it came naturally and we suffered, losing four players before we adjusted our style to better avoid their athletic jumps.

Our biggest surprise was Nessie. Jacob had saved up and bought her a small baseball bat, one that fit her tiny hands to perfection. When Alice pitched, gently, Nessie struck the ball with such force that it sailed over the heads of everyone who had moved in closer. Edward ran to catch it and fumbled the ball – I suspect he did that on purpose. As he raced to reclaim it, Nessie sprinted around the bases. She lacked full vampire speed and was only half way round when Edward emerged from the trees. Jacob ran up alongside Nessie and she leapt on his back as he powered around the remaining bases. She launched herself onto the ground and slid into home plate just as Emmett caught the ball Edward returned.

Jacob's tongue lolled out the side of his mouth in a distinctly wolfy grin, and Nessie leapt up and down shrieking with delight. We clapped and cheered with her.

"Can I do that again? Please!" she gasped, ran for her bat, and lined up again. She shot Alice a hard look. "Do a proper pitch this time. That one was for babies!" Alice laughed at her serious expression, the very same expression we'd seen so often on her father's face.

Alice pitched; it slammed into Jasper's waiting hands before Nessie had even flinched. Her little eyes narrowed, and when Jasper threw the ball back to Alice, she focused intently on her.

"Strike one!" Esme called.

We waited. The outfielders had spread out, much further back, and Jacob was crouched a couple of paces away ready to run.

Alice pitched again; Nessie's bat whistled through the air, fractionally missing the second ball. Jasper threw it back and settled into his crouch, ready to catch again.

"Strike two!"

"Don't you dare ease off," Nessie muttered under her breath.

Alice nodded, and wound up again. The crack as Nessie hit the ball sent Jacob running. She grabbed his fur and urged him on. It wasn't the best strike, the ball had shot straight up in the air going in totally the opposite direction to what we expected, but she _had_ hit it. I sprinted to reach the ball and lob it back to Emmett. He stood at home plate, poised, ready to tag her out. Nessie slid off Jacob's back and stopped at third. Her face was triumphant.

Bella stepped up to bat and we all moved out. For someone once so physically inept, her joy at playing baseball as a vampire was transparent. She was immensely strong and, when she had struck the ball the first time, even Edward hadn't stood a chance. He raced after it, but Bella reached home plate well before the ball came sailing back out of the trees. She had whooped and hollered almost as loud as Nessie.

The wolves weren't as strong batting – they were just too slow running in human form. Following Nessie's example, we adapted the game so that as one batted, another waited ready as a wolf and ran as soon as the bat connected. It kind of worked, and we agreed next time to split into mixed teams, wolves and vampires on both.

Leah had joined us in the end. She'd been nervous about coming into season around the pack. But, as Jacob pointed out, it was going to happen at some point anyway and there was no point missing out on the fun. After all, she was the fastest out of all of them, and if it did go pear-shaped we agreed she could sprint back to the house while we knocked some sense into the rest of the pack.

That had been an interesting couple of days. All the werewolves had been shocked, Sam especially. He had apparently issued an Alpha command to his pack to steer clear of Leah when she came into season. Carlisle wasn't sure that would work – it didn't among wild wolves, but it was the thought that counted. Leah had suddenly been treated with a whole lot more respect, and strangely she had softened towards me most of all. I didn't understand it, but my becoming pregnant, and her coming into season, had changed her attitude towards me – something about getting the whole 'genetic dead end' thing. There was even a tentative friendship forming.

Leah was _fast_. Very fast. When she ran we had to work hard to get the ball back quickly. Only once did we catch her before home plate and that was when Embry was batting. I had no idea what she was thinking, but Edward laughed and told him that Leah was less than impressed with his efforts.

We stopped for lunch; Esme had packed a huge picnic for the wolves. Nessie and I grabbed a few bits here and there before they demolished it all. Leah even managed to grab the last sausage and lob it over the boy's heads to me. I shared it with Nessie, much to Seth's annoyance; that boy was a bottomless pit.

Quil found the football we'd packed just in case, and he and Edward started trying to work out how to play with mixed teams. Emmett, Jasper and Embry joined in and the discussion became heated, all genetic differences forgotten in the face of the universally spoken language of football.

Eventually, we split into two teams of six, two wolves on one, three on the other. The team with two wolves got Leah as she was the fastest. She couldn't help looking smug. I clapped her a high-five when we ended up on the same team. We had Jacob, Emmett, Alice and Jasper. Seth, Embry and Quil were with Edward, Bella and Carlisle. Esme and Nessie were to umpire. Until we figured out the logistics of the game, none of us wanted Nessie flattened. She wasn't pleased, but Jacob was insistent.

"We _need_ you to umpire Nessie! Edward is going to cheat like mad and we need you to keep a close eye on him," Jacob said, and then winked at her and whispered, "Esme won't because Carlisle is on his team, and you know she'll turn a blind eye!"

"I will not!" Esme replied indignantly, "I have a tough enough time keeping my lot honest, and now I'm going to have my work cut out keeping an eye on you too!"

"Me?" laughed Jacob, "I wouldn't do a thing!"

"You've got the pack mind. You'll be able to know what's going on too." Esme wouldn't back down. She eyed the teams. "It's no good. Edward, you're going to have to swap. We can't have four mind readers on one team and two on the other. Emmett, you swap with him."

"Oh, no! With Alice on the other team she'll see!" wailed Emmett petulantly.

"With all these werewolves around? You've got to be kidding! I'm as blind as a bat as far as that is concerned!" Alice squared up to Emmett. Wisely, he backed down.

"Okay, we're sorted now: Leah, Jacob, Edward, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper. You're one team. Seth, Embry, Quil, Emmett, Bella and Carlisle. You're the other team. Nessie and I will try our best to keep you honest." Esme looked satisfied at the final result.

Emmett patted my ass and whispered in my ear. "You watch out, Babe." His tone wasn't teasing, but serious. I turned to him. "I mean it, take it easy, Okay?" he said softly as he rubbed my belly protectively.

"Don't you worry, my Monkey Man. I fully intend to be whole and healthy when we get home tonight!" I whispered back and shot him a wicked grin. After two days of taking it easy, he was going to have to watch out!

Emmett growled under his breath and his eyes darkened. "Let's not go home tonight. Let's go to the house," he murmured into my ear. His voice held undertones of the growl still rumbling in his chest, and his breath on my skin sent shivers down my spine.

"Now that is my kind of idea! It's been a while since we remodelled," I replied silkily. The look I shot him was full of promise. He grinned dirtily back, by the looks of it he would make damn sure I kept my promise. He leant close and bit my ear before jogging off to join his team.

Our house had been a gift from Carlisle and Esme. It wasn't stylish or sophisticated anymore, but it was robust. After we'd knocked it down the third time Esme had put her foot down and designed something a little more 'fit for purpose' as she'd put it. Thanks to the reinforced steel framework of the structure it would stay standing no matter how many walls were missing, as long as we didn't take out the corners. I watched Emmett's ass as he ran across the field and I had a sudden urge to take out a few walls. God, I loved that man.

Football turned into complete mayhem. Within minutes, all the rules had completely gone out of the window, and it dissolved into a mad battle to get the ball and score a touchdown any way we could. The wolves' pack mind meant that tactics were pointless. Bella was so strong that if she got the ball we didn't have a hope in hell of getting it back, not even when we all jumped on her and tried to wrestle it from her arms. She just laid there laughing before casually shrugging us off and leaping into our end zone.

Leah was uncatchable if she got the ball, but after a couple of touchdowns they kept her so closely marked that she got little opportunity. Esme and Nessie had long since given up trying to control the game and just watched incredulously, laughing madly at the underhand attempts of each team. Then Jasper cheated. He picked up the amusement, amplified and projected it, and when we were all rolling on the ground, laughing uncontrollably, he walked through the crumpled lines and slammed the ball down. Esme tried to scold him as if he was a cantankerous child, but her laughter took the sting out of her words.

Amazingly, nothing got broken, but the werewolves were sporting some impressive fading bruises when they rejoined us back in human form. Although Jasper's enforced good humour had faded away, there were still sporadic bursts of laughter as the underhand tactics were dissected. I had no idea who won, that, too, was being debated. Loudly.

Leah shot me a wide grin, then shook her head at the rest of her pack, as if in disbelieve at their behaviour. "Do you think they'll ever agree who won?" she asked me.

"Not a hope in hell. This argument will go on for days!" I stared at the boys animatedly discussing the game. "Or at least until the next thunderstorm, then all hell will break loose again."

"You do realise they will be keeping a very close eye on the weather forecast from now on," Leah pointed out.

"No point keeping an eye on that! It's never right. Best keep an eye on Alice instead," I said as I winked in Alice's direction. She'd wandered over to join us.

"Nothing for a while unfortunately, so they'll just have to keep bickering," she laughed, then turned to Leah. "If you plan on eating anytime tonight, you'd best get a head start now. If Seth gets there before you –"

"I won't stand a chance!" Leah said then loped quietly off in the direction of La Push. Seth spotted her as she entered the trees.

"Hey, wait up!" he called after her, and set off at a sprint. The others heads whipped round and the rest of the pack were soon hot on his heals.

"Next time, your ass is ours!" Jacob yelled over his shoulder as he went.

"Not a hope in Hell, Mutt!" Emmett yelled after him.

I caught Emmett's eye, mentally undressed him under my gaze, and then crooked a finger at him to follow me.

~o~

I hit the front door ahead of Emmett and jumped up to get the spare key from the eaves. As I landed, he grabbed me and twisted me back into the wall, his hard body pressed against mine as he hungrily kissed my lips. His tongue wrapped around mine and his fingers laced into my hair. He slipped the key from my hand and fumbled it into the lock. He tried to be careful – it was generally prudent to keep the door on its hinges if we wanted any privacy.

As the door swung open, he picked me up and carried me inside. Gently, he closed the door, but as the lock clicked softly shut he slammed us both into the nearest wall and frantically ripped the clothes from my body. A constant deep growl rumbled from his chest as his hands skimmed the sides of my breasts and ribs before they settled on my ass lifting me higher off of the ground. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him close. I felt his glorious erection through the thin fabric of his pants and he pressed it hard into me, I moaned as it rubbed against my already aroused core.

"Something you like, Babe?"

"Too fucking right I do. Now get that gorgeous ass of yours naked and fuck me hard, right up against this wall," I growled out and began ripping his clothes from his deliciously muscled frame. I licked and nibbled his shoulders and neck as he gave up on his pants and ripped them away himself. There was nothing between his rock hard cock and my aching, soaking core. I needed him. My growl deepened and my teeth found his neck, nipping the sensitive scar where Carlisle had turned him for me.

His hands tightened on my thighs, lifting me slightly higher, and then he slammed into me. Filling and stretching me almost to the point of pain. My head whipped back as I howled in pleasure and dented the plaster. He pulled out then thrust hard inside me again and again, his hands and lips wild on my body, pushing me ever closer to the edge. But he stopped, a wicked smirk on his lips, before carrying me away from the cracked outside wall and dropping us onto the sofa. Its legs gave in beneath us and the frame dropped to the floor, spilling us onto the smooth tiles.

We rolled until I sat straddling and impaled upon him. I started grinding myself against him, working myself closer and closer. I felt the tingling in my stomach gather and build as my breaths grew faster and my moans more wanton.

"Not without me you don't," Emmett purred and then flipped me. He lifted one of my legs high over his shoulder, opening me wide and slammed in deeply. Thrusting hard into me, he drove himself right to the edge of release as he pounded against my wildly sensitive centre. His hand ghosted down my stomach and pinched my hardened clit between his fingers, rubbing circles that sent ripples of pleasure shooting deep inside me. The shudders surged through my body, sending him over the edge as I clamped tightly round him. He bit my calf and pulled my hips hard against his own, pushing every last bit of himself into my spasming core.

"Arghh… Fuck… Rose!" he gasped out. I loved the look on his face as he came. I could watch that over and over again, and that was exactly what I intended to do.

"Shit, Em! That was no good!" I panted, staring at him cheekily even as his face dropped.

"What!" he said mortified.

"We didn't knock down any walls. We're going to have to try harder next time. A few cracks in the brickwork just doesn't count."

"Rosalie Hale, you are going to be the death of me! I'll give you broken down walls," he growled deeply and I felt my insides melt. I loved playing dirty, he was so easy to wind up, and sex when he was wound up was phenomenal.

I twisted away from him and ran to stand against the nearest wall. He crouched and growled, already aroused. I smiled at him as I ran my hand down my body, over my nipple and it hardened at my touch. Emmett pounced. I shifted sideways and he went straight through the plasterboard and wood partition. I leapt through the hole after him, picked him up, and pinned him against the nearest wall.

"Now THAT'S more like it!" I purred, then dropped to my knees in front of him and hungrily took one of his balls into my mouth. He groaned and made to run his fingers into my hair. I grabbed both his wrists and pinned them to the wall, working him only with my mouth and tongue. I loved the sound of his moans.

I ran the tip of my tongue up his length and flicked the end. His head slammed back into the wall and I heard something crack. I smiled wickedly up at him and took the tip of him back into my mouth. I ran my lips slowly down over him, taking him into my mouth and throat. I took full advantage of the fact that vampires didn't need to breathe and soon had him crying out desperately. His legs were shaking and his hands were twisting in my grasp.

"Rose! Please! Uunnngh!"

He started to slide down the wall, and I released his hands to hold him up. His hands dug into my hair and he lost all control, pumping into me as I purred and growled around him. He roared out my name as he came. We lay crumpled and spent on the floor as the dust settled around us.

"You are a wicked woman, Rose, and I fully intend to make you pay for your teasing."

He leapt up, gathered me in his arms, and raced up the stairs, dropping me onto the bed before he pounced on top of me. The bed frame cracked and collapsed to the floor.

"Now, Rosalie. I want you to tell me exactly what you want me to do to you, and if you don't shout it out loud enough, I won't do it. Have you got that, my beautiful wife?"

"Oh yes," I growled as he traced his hands gently down my sides and across my stomach. I arched into him and he pulled away.

"Uh, uh. You've got to say what you want!"

"I want your mouth on me," I gasped. His hands continued their fiery trail, but gave me no satisfaction.

"Louder," he purred.

"I want your MOUTH on me!" His eyes sparkled and he smirked at me as he planted big wet open mouth kisses on my thighs, working closer, but not going anywhere near where I needed him to be. I arched and wriggled, but he refused to be guided.

"Urghh! Emmett!" I growled out in frustration.

"I'm doing exactly what you asked me to," he said innocently, before continuing to kiss a trail back up my leg.

"SUCK ME! Suck my clit NOW!" I cried out desperately. He growled and lowered his lips to me. I began screaming out his name.

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**Make me smile, review please! - I love to see them in my inbox :o)**


	15. Chapter 15: Altercation

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta RedSummer, you're a star, even when I get the wrong end of the stick. :o)**

* * *

**Leah's POV**

"Jacob, I can't! It's been nearly a week since we found out, and I've got to be coming on any day now," I pleaded, "I'm not sure I should even be around you." I looked away frustrated. I'd been trying to shut myself off from the pack, trying to minimise opportunities for damage to be caused if, _when_, I came into season.

"I know. But everyone's going to be at Emily's. You can't keep missing out on all the fun! Come on, just a couple of hours?" he cajoled me.

"I'm a fucking ticking time bomb, Jake! You can't honestly think it's safe for me to be with _everyone _right now?" I was angry with him despite myself. I really wanted to go, but was scared.

"Sam's hit all of his pack with an Alpha command, you know that. They can't touch you. I'll protect you from the guys _if_ I need to. Please, you're my Beta! Emily is your cousin, and you love the muffins she cooks!" He was really wheedling.

"On your head be it, Jacob Black!" I growled at him as I gave in.

"If the shit hits the fan, you leg it to the Cullens mentally shouting for Edward, and I'll see off the rest of the pack. Sorted!" He grinned and slipped his shorts off and tucked them into the cord around his ankle ready to phase.

"Yeah, right. You make it sound so easy. It's not your ass on the line!" I said as I stripped, bending to secure my clothes.

"No, but it's a very nice ass," he growled, and then smacked me sharply before leaping into the trees.

"You bastard!" I shrieked and then sprung after him.

I caught him just outside Emily's house. I was not going to back down. I circled him, snarling, my ears drawn back and my hackles raised.

"_Oh, come on, Leah! It was a joke." _

_Not funny._

I snarled back, then surged forward catching his flank with my teeth.

"Go, Leah!" called Embry. "You put him in his place!"

"No way, Embry. He'll have her on her back in a heartbeat," laughed Quil as the rest of the pack came out to watch.

"Wanna bet?"

"You're on!"

"_Those boys! Leah, neither will win if we just call it quits now." _

Jacob circled me warily, but I was not giving in.

_Not this time, Jacob. You ARE going to submit to me._

My growls deepened and I attacked him. It was short and sharp and in a moment he was on his back, my teeth at his throat and a snarl ripping from my chest.

"_Fuck, Leah! I get the message. I was out of order. Sorry, okay?"_ He whimpered slightly as my teeth tightened. _"Please, let me up now."_

I let go of his throat, but stayed standing above him.

_Don't you EVER try that again, Jacob Black. Alpha or not!_

I turned my back and walked stiffly to the trees. When I was out of sight I phased back and dressed shakily. Where the hell had that come from? I'd just attacked my Alpha!

The stunned silence in front of Emily's house suddenly erupted.

"Yeah, LEAH! Ha, Quil. You owe me, man. You owe me BIG time," Embry crowed with delight.

"What the fuck happened there, Jacob? I thought that was a sure thing," whined Quil.

I turned and stared at Jacob. He looked shocked. He shook his head at Quil and slapped him on the back, pushing him back towards the house.

"Come on, there's food on the table and Seth's in there alone," he pointed out.

All of them bundled into the house, pushing and shoving to get through the door first. Only Emily remained.

"You okay, Leah?" she asked gently.

"Right now, I haven't a clue," I replied honestly. The shakes had finally subsided.

"I've saved you some, I wasn't sure if you'd come," she said.

"I wasn't sure if I would either. I'm not sure I should've. Maybe I should go?" I replied uncertainly.

"You're here now. Is half an hour really going to make that much difference?"

"Probably not," I conceded, and let her guide me into the house.

Emily placed the last plate of muffins in the centre of the table and the packs crowded around. She moved back to stand with Sam and he beamed at her, rubbing her slightly rounded belly. The love in his eyes didn't hurt me anymore, and I found I was truly pleased for them. I looked away and saw that the muffins had disappeared rapidly. With only a few left of the plate I dived in, reached for the nearest and pushed Embry out the way.

He stiffened, and started shaking, I could feel it where my body pushed against his in the scrum for the food. He gulped and slowly turned to look at me as silence spread around the table. I felt the weight of their stares, every pair of eyes in the room drilled into me. I sought out Jacob and saw comprehension in his wide eyes. Embry breathed in deeply through his nose and groaned. That seemed to snap everyone out of their trance.

I turned and phased before I'd even left the table. The door was demolished as I shot though it.

"Oh, FUCK!" Jacob exclaimed.

"Not in the HOUSE!" screamed Emily.

With the sound of splintering furniture they appeared, clamouring, in my mind.

"_The Cullens! NOW!" _Jacob was shouting at me.

"_Not on your fucking life, Jacob. She's mine!"_ Embry growled, close on my haunches.

I pushed myself fast through the trees and heard the sound of many paws powering through the forest behind me. Paul and Jared raced silently one side of me; Embry, Quil and Seth the other, lustful thoughts filling their minds. I could feel their hot breath on my flanks.

_JACOB! Jacob! For FUCK'S SAKE help me!_ I screamed out to him.

"_I'm coming!" _he called back to me. _"Pack it in guys. STOP NOW!"_

A wolf with jet black fur suddenly drove through the trees and hit Paul squarely on the shoulder. A ripping, snarling fight ensued and I heard whimpers fade as they disappeared behind us.

_Thank you, Sam!_

I caught a glimpse of Jacob's russet fur as he drew level with Quil, trying to shoulder him away.

"_No way, Jacob. We were here first!"_ Quil snarled back to Jacob.

"_Quil! Think of Clare! __**NOW!**__" _The compelling tones of his Alpha voice laced the last word, and Quil's stride faltered. _"Think of her face, her eyes, how sad they'd be if you hurt Leah!"_

"_Sorry, Leah!" _Quil called and his footsteps stopped. He wrenched himself out of the pack mind and back into human form with the image of Claire's tears.

"_Seth! Think about it – she's your sister!"_

"_But she smells so fucking good!"_

"_I don't care! She's still your sister! __**Now phase back!**__"_

The irresistible compulsion to obey, and the doubt Jacob had cast in his mind, dropped him to his knees and I heard him crash into the forest floor.

"_Ah, Shit! I really hate having to go Alpha on you guys. Help me out here, Embry,"_ Jacob pleaded.

"_No – Fucking – Way, Jacob,"_ Embry snarled back as he pushed closer to my flank.

We flew across the Cullen's border where their scents overlaid ours. I remembered Jacob's suggestion to call for Edward. For once, I really needed him to hear my thoughts.

_Edward! EDWARD! I need help here!_ I mentally shouted as loud as I could. I kept shouting it over and over.

Sam powered through the forest again, pushing close to Jared. I couldn't hear their thoughts, but Jared dropped and Sam pounced on him, growling viciously.

_Thank, Christ!_ There were only two sets of paws behind me now, but Embry was in a frenzy of lust and Jacob's words were falling on deaf ears.

"_**DROP BACK NOW!"**_ Jacob shouted, every word laced so heavily with his Alpha voice that I felt my own stride falter. Embry's teeth grazed my shoulder.

_NO!_ I screamed and pushed harder towards the house I could see in the distance.

"_No, Jacob. You can't have her. You've imprinted, I haven't. YOU have no right to her, I DO!"_

"_No-one does, Embry! She chooses, and she ISN'T CHOOSING YOU!"_

"_Don't make me fight you, Jacob. I WILL challenge you if you do not let me go to her. SHE'S MINE!"_

"_NO SHE FUCKING ISN'T!"_

As we broke into the Cullen's garden Jacob hit him hard. The snarls echoed around the clearing and the ferocity of the fight made my spat with Jacob earlier look like a play fight.

I leapt through an open window into the house and my paws skittered on the shiny floor as I landed. I barely had time to register the shocked faces before I dove for the stairs. I hurled my weight against Carlisle's office door and phased as I pushed through it. I slammed it behind me and fumbled to turn the lock. I pressed my back against the door, gasping, as I looked into the room.

Esme sat astride Carlisle's lap, her hair and clothes were in disarray. Carlisle's shirt was undone and pushed back on his shoulders. They both stared at me, shocked, as I crumpled and slid down the door. Pulling my knees into my chest, I wrapped my arms over my head and cried painful sobs from deep in my chest.

_I HATE BEING A FUCKING WEREWOLF! _

I heard the vicious snarls escalate outside.

~o~

**Edward's POV**

Bella's fingers ran though my hair, deliciously scratching my scalp in an unintentional, but totally erotic way. The music I'd put on filled the room, hiding the soft sounds that had been coming from Carlisle's office. Bella shielded me, and that allowed me to remain relaxed on the sofa, reading a book, in my love's arms instead of feeling driven from the house and grounds like a pariah in order to give my parents some much deserved privacy.

Bella's shield was a huge bonus for me; it allowed me to block my family's most intimate thoughts, to give them the gift of privacy that I hadn't been able to afford them over the past one hundred years. It allowed me immense peace, and the quiet moments that I shared with Bella had become my haven from the everyday buzz of voices in my mind. When we were close, Bella could envelop me almost without effort, but day to day it was too much of a strain to keep it in place. I'd got used to the sounds of the minds around me over the years and they didn't bother me. We kept these silent moments for when it really mattered.

Earlier, when I'd heard Esme's soft laugh and Carlisle's barely audible growl, I'd put the music on just loud enough and slid into Bella's arms. I hadn't even had to ask as the peace descended, cutting off Carlisle's mental thanks.

Bella's fingers scratched down behind my ear and along the nape of my neck. I shivered in response and felt a gentle purr building in my chest.

I glanced over at Nessie to check she was still fast asleep with Rosalie and Emmett, and then I turned my head to whisper in Bella's ear, "If you carry on like that, I might just have to throw you over my shoulder and drag you into the forest."

"The forest?" she asked softly. "Not the house?" As she spoke she ran her nails down my neck and stopped tantalisingly just inside the collar of my shirt.

"Yes, the forest. I wouldn't want to break anything, and if you carry on like that, that's exactly what's going to happen," I growled gently into her hair.

On the other sofa, Emmett held Nessie and Rosalie, both asleep in arms, and at my words he lifted his head and smirked. "Heaven forbid you should break anything!" He reached carefully into his pocket and then flipped a key across the room to me. I snatched it out of the air, took one look and threw it straight back.

"No thanks, Emmett. It's only just been repaired. I wouldn't want to completely raise it to the ground."

"No chance! It's reinforced; Esme designed it to be 'Emmett proof', remember?"

"But she didn't design it to be 'Bella proof,' did she?" Bella purred quietly across the room. Her voice was so damn sexy. Since she'd beaten Emmett at arm wrestling and effectively ceased all his sexual innuendo, she enjoyed rubbing in the fact that was stronger than him.

"Dare you!" he said, throwing the key to Bella, "Bet ya can't!"

"Now, now children," Rosalie muttered sleepily, "No one is breaking MY house down again except me. Okay?" She held out her hand for the key. Bella tossed it lightly across the room, but Emmett snatched it and pocketed it.

"You're only allowed to do that if –" Emmett's words were halted by the sound of paws pounding though the garden. Vicious snarls tore though the silence. Leah hurtled through the open window, landing heavily, legs splayed on the shiny surface of the floor before skittering fast across the room and disappearing upstairs with her tail firmly between her legs.

We sat stunned. Bella whipped the shield away from me and my jaw dropped open as the drama enfolded in the minds around me.

"_Thanks for nothing, Edward! The only time I actually NEED you to read my fucking mind!"_ Leah shouted scornfully at me as she attacked Carlisle's office door.

"_I don't fucking care, Jacob! Alpha or not, you have no prior claim,"_ Embry snarled.

"_I do, too! You are NOT laying one stinking paw on her,"_ Jacob snapped back, and memories flooded his mind.

"_You BASTARD! You've imprinted, you BASTARD!"_

The sounds of fighting escalated and the door upstairs slammed.

"_Oh, Fuck!"_

"_NO! I was just about to –"_

"_I HATE BEING A FUCKING WEREWOLF!"_

Then the scent hit us, laden with intoxicating pheromones. Briefly, inappropriate thoughts flashed though every male mind I could hear – white marble flesh pounding against soft russet skin. I shook my head to clear the images that had formed.

"Fu–" Emmett started before Rosalie slapped a hand over his mouth. Nessie was staring wide eyed at him. "That's powerful!" Emmett continued when Rosalie released him. He was visibly shocked at the reaction of his own mind.

"She's in season then," Rosalie stated, mentally adding, _"Is she alright? She looked terrified!"_

I flicked my mind back up to Carlisle's office and looked through his eyes.

_Esme, fully dressed and composed, tucked a blanket around a crying Leah and stroked her hair. "It's okay now. You're safe. You're not hurt are you?"_

"_No, not hurt," she replied between sobs._

"_Edward? Can you hear? You need to stop that fight, and fast."_

I looked back at Rosalie and Emmett. "She's fine, shaken but fine. Outside is a different matter entirely though."

"I know just how to cool them off!" Emmett grinned and jumped out of the open window.

"_I'm going to fucking KILL YOU. You CAN'T – HAVE – HER!" _Embry was completely losing it.

"_Embry please! I don't want to hurt you. I REALLY don't want to hurt you, BUT I WILL if you don't __**PACK IT IN RIGHT NOW!"**_

"_Don't pull that ALPHA SHIT on me! I am not going to listen to you!" _Embry launched himself toward Jacob with every intention of disembowelling him.

"Ah, sh–," I just managed to stop myself before swearing in front of Nessie. "It's going to get messy," I sighed with exasperation and leapt out the window after Emmett.

Emmett came back around the corner from the garage with the hose trailing behind him. He pointed it at the snarling wolves and pulled the trigger. A powerful jet of water blasted the pair of them, momentarily distracting them from the fight. As they pulled apart, Emmett shot the water straight into Embry's muzzle and up his nose.

"_What the fuck do you think you're doing you foul, stinking BLOODSUCKER?"_ Embry mentally yelled.

"Trying to cool you off, Embry," I called back.

"Have you come to your senses yet, my little wolfy brother?" Emmett asked in a teasing tone, the hose held loosely at his side.

Embry's hackles raised and his hard eyes were focused on Emmett.

"_I am not your BROTHER!"_ he growled.

"I'll take that as a 'No' then," smirked Emmett, without even looking at me to hear Embry's reply.

Emmett raised the hose and fired it into his face again, laughing wildly as he did so. "I'm not stopping until you phase back!"

"_Agh! You bastard, I can't breathe! Stop, STOP!"_

"_Come on, Embry. Phase back. Please!"_ pleaded Jacob.

"Okay, OKAY! Stop!" Embry spluttered as he stood naked and human in front of Emmett.

"_Is he safe?"_ Jacob asked me.

I listened to Embry's mind for a moment. He was still desperately lusting after Leah, but the urge to kill Jacob had abated. I nodded in reply to Jacob's silent question and he phased back too.

"Give me another blast please, Emmett. It helps get the scent out of my nose," Jacob asked in a strained voice. As the tension of the fight was fading the urge to run upstairs and just take Leah right there on Carlisle's desk was building in his mind. "Please!" he pleaded.

"You'd better do it, Em," I said to him. "Carlisle will thank you for it!"

Emmett dialled the pressure of the hose down a notch or two and ran it over Jacob's face. He groaned, both at the cold water, and the relief it brought.

"Oh, he gets the gentle setting does he? Not the power hose up the nose then?" Embry muttered under his breath. Emmett heard him and ran the hose over Embry again.

"Now. Are you thinking straight again? Emmett asked him.

"Yes, okay, I am. But I've got to get out of here and stay out of here until she's safe again," Embry said. Turning to Jacob he asked, "How can you stand to be so close to her?"

Through gritted teeth Jacob replied. "Not without difficulty."

I laughed; harsh memories of the exact same conversation I'd had with the Volturi came to my mind. "Just be thankful it's only a week and that you don't want to kill her as well."

"I'm going to run the borders for a bit, Jake. Sorry for being such a ass." Embry held his hand out in truce.

Jacob grabbed it and pulled Embry close to slap his back. "No hard feelings. Now get out of here, the sooner you go, the sooner I can."

Jacob ran his hands down his face. Emmett helpfully squirted him again.

"How is Leah?" he asked.

Carlisle had heard the question and answered in my mind. _"She's shaken and as wired by the hormones racing around her body as the others are by the scent of her."_

"And what does that mean?

"_It means that the urge to mate is as strong for Leah as it is for Jacob."_

"Ahh… It's going to be a fun week babysitting the werewolf then?"

"_In the wild the Alpha pair often leaves the pack to avoid the attention of the other pack members. I think that might be an option here."_

"What? You're saying they should –" I said incredulously.

"_As humans, with protection. It might just be easier all round. It's not as if they haven't…"_

I looked at Jacob, crouched on the ground, running the hose over his head and trying to hide his strained erection.

"I think you might be right," I replied to Carlisle, and then turned to Emmett. "Come on, hand over the key. You've got a friend in need here," I said jerking my thumb at Jacob. Emmett nearly choked, looked once more at Jacob, and then dug his hand in his pocket.

"Is she okay or not? I can't stay here much longer, it's killing me," Jacob asked, unaware of the exchange. He really did look in pain. Maybe I'd had it easier just wanting Bella's blood with such intensity.

"No, she's not okay. She's as wound up as you are. So, take her away." I thrust Emmett's key in his hand. "Be careful, and don't bring her back for a week."

"C-careful! You ARE joking aren't you?" he spluttered out.

Carlisle stepped out of the house, the picture of a protective father, with a very quiet Leah standing close behind him. Esme had found her some clothes and Carlisle threw some shorts to Jacob who immediately turned his back and put them on – they didn't hide much though.

"I've sorted you out. Leah's got enough…" Carlisle started.

"_Ah, Shit. Am I really having this conversation!"_

"…now, go. But stay human. The scent won't be as strong and you'll be able to use protection."

Jacob grabbed Leah's hand, muttered embarrassed thanks, and then jogged into the forest.

Once they'd gone Seth staggered out of the trees, grabbed the hose out of Emmett's hands and ran it over his head, sighing with relief.

"Who fancies a run to clear their head?" Emmett asked looking around the assembled vampires, and one slowly relaxing werewolf. "I'm feeling peckish after all that."

"Sure thing," Seth replied. "You gotta have someone to scout ahead haven't you?"

"We'll join you," called Jasper. "Safety in numbers and all that."

"Coming, Babe?" Emmett asked Rosalie.

"You just try and stop me," she grinned back.

Emmett looked at me and I shook my head. I had some unfinished business planned if it was going to be quiet for a while. I looked sideways at Bella who was grinning in at me in a way that touched me deep inside. Oh God, definitely the forest. Somewhere a few less trees wouldn't be noticed.

Carlisle and Esme declined too- surprise, surprise.

The five set off, away from the direction Jacob and Leah had taken, laughing and joking as they ran.

A small hand slipped into mine. "Doesn't he love me anymore?" Nessie asked quietly.

I turned and looked down into her confused eyes, bent to pick her up and threw her high in the air before catching her in a tight embrace. It made her smile, but didn't cause the usual laughter.

"Of course he does, you are 'His Nessie'. He'd do anything for you, you know that," I said as I smiled up at her, trying to sooth her first taste of rejection and jealously. I knew Jacob's thoughts, and I knew exactly how he felt about Nessie and Leah. The two were poles apart in his mind.

"But he's also Alpha of his pack. It's his job to look after and guide them, and, if needed, protect them. Right now Leah needs to be protected. She's his Beta, his second in command. He couldn't stand aside and watch her get hurt any more than he could allow you to be hurt," I tried to explain.

"It's a kind of wolfy compulsion. Do you understand? It doesn't mean he loves you any less, or that he loves Leah any more. But she is his friend and he respects her, and that is just as important in life as the love you feel for family. Would you stand aside and watch your new friends get hurt if you could help? Zafrina? Carmen?"

"No!" she said quickly, her expression full of horror.

"And do those feelings make you love Jacob any less?"

"No."

"So do you understand why he's gone with Leah now?"

"I think so, but why does she need protecting? Why was Embry so mad?" she asked.

You couldn't slip anything past her!

"It's a wolf thing; they go a bit crazy in the New Year!" I fudged.

"Is that why she smells different?"

"Yes. That is exactly why she smells different! Now, how do you fancy spending the afternoon with Grandpa Charlie and Sue?"

"Yeah!"

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	16. Chapter 16: Encounter

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. All mistakes are mine. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta RedSummer :o)**

**Beta crisis averted, all a misunderstanding... Phew!**

**AND huge thank you to 2Shae who offered to step into the breach. She's a new beta at PTB, don't you know!**

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**Nomad's POV**

I'd heard them as I'd waited patiently, silent and still. But they hadn't come close. During the storm there'd been strange cracks and crashes in the distance, but I'd had no clue as to their cause. While I sat I let the snow settle on me, but I made sure I walked along their border at least once a day. I wanted my scent to be strong so they didn't come across me unaware. Their own scents had faded as the days passed and were barely detectable in the air. I hoped they'd need to hunt soon.

My mind drifted back to the ghostly images of my human life. As much as I tried to keep them strong and real, they'd slipped away as the years had passed, one minute detail at a time.

…"_There you go, my lovely," I said as I synched the saddle belly band tight around my patient mare. She huffed through her nostrils and flipped her head before nibbling at the shoulder of my jacket. "Not today, my sweet," I said, patting her neck and pushing her away from my clothes. "My master is meeting a new client and I'm to look my best."_

_A tinkling laugh rose from inside the house. "You always look your best! Now, give me a kiss before you go." She appeared on the doorstep then, barefooted, still in the thin shift she wore to bed. "Quick! It's too cold to linger!" I slipped my arms around her waist and quickly kissed her warm neck before slowly kissing her lips. She broke away, slightly breathless, and I laughed softly with delight. "Be off with you! You wouldn't want to displease your master with your tardiness, not today of all days."_

_As I swept onto my saddle, the door closed behind me. I urged my mare onwards and she joined the quiet hustle of the street. The early morning light was obscured by the crystallised breaths of man and beast alike. I turned toward the heart of the city as the first orange sunlight of the new day truly broke though the clouds…_

I always enjoyed that memory, but I felt the pain as I reached for my mare's name, only to find it had slipped from my mind, lost over time. She'd had a gentle temperament, was solid and dependable, and was rarely spooked by the hubbub of the city. Her coat had been chestnut, with three white socks and a flash on her forehead that reached to touch the first inch or so of her mane. We'd had a young lad who helped us to earn his keep, and he'd groomed her until her coat had shone.

I'd been a clerk, nothing special, but enough to afford a small house and my beautiful and dependable mare. My master had been harsh but fair – he was a small part of a smaller legal firm that handled the petty wranglings of those above us in the social food-chain. When I'd shown interest in marrying he'd increased my wages just enough to cover the upkeep of the boy who became our help. The boy had been polite and clean, a dark-haired lad of about eight. He'd been willing to learn and make more of his life and I'd been teaching him to read. I sighed; his name and features had long since drifted from my mind.

I rose and shook the snow from my shoulders and brushed it from my hair. I heard footsteps in the far distance and hoped my wait was at its end. I positioned myself so I could be seen clearly from the trail only to be startled by the huge sandy wolf that appeared silently from the trees. It appeared alert, but not threatening, and barked sharply once without taking its gaze from my face.

Four of the Cullens stepped carefully from the trees and stood beside the wolf. I recognised them immediately from the confrontation, but I had not known their names. The men stood protectively in front of their mates and held them tightly behind them, with one arm wrapped awkwardly backwards around their bodies.

The short, dark-haired girl peered curiously around her blonde-haired mate, and as I took him in I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise. He was covered, smothered, in scars. I hadn't seen that from a distance when I'd watched them before. On the arm I could see, and his neck and throat, the scars were so closely spaced I could barely see unmarred flesh in between. I couldn't see the other woman, she hid behind her powerfully built mate, and I caught only the hint of long blonde hair as it drifted lightly on the wind. Both men looked poised to fight, hard and cold, unwelcoming.

"I'm sorry to startle you," I spoke across the divide. I opened my hands in a gesture of peace and smiled. The wolf stepped closer, placing himself midway between us. "I come only out of curiosity." I stepped forward but the wolf growled, so I stepped back conceding my ground. "My apologies," I addressed the wolf directly. "I come with no intention to harm those that you protect."

The Cullens looked on surprised, as if no-one had ever accorded the wolves the respect they so obviously deserved. I'd seen them that day standing against the Volturi, and I had no wish to become the object of their ire.

The dark-haired girl whispered in her mate's ear. I didn't catch her words, but noticed his stance ease very slightly.

"Who are you and who do you travel with? What are your intentions here if they are not to harm us?" the scarred man asked.

I normally kept my name to myself, without it I was no-one, and I preferred to stay that way. My caution would not be seen as such today, and I had no wish for them to think I was deceiving them.

"My name is Mathias, and I travel alone. I am a nomad, and I'm interested in your lifestyle – one that affords you such closeness. It is something I've rarely seen amongst _our kind_," I tried to explain, but the emphasis on 'our kind' had come out with disdain.

"Your tones speak of distaste, but your eyes show otherwise," he replied harshly.

"I have no love of this life, but I've known no other way. I can see your choices reflected in your eyes, just as my own are reflected in mine. I would like to change that. I would like the opportunity to speak with you – peacefully."

"Please excuse our caution. There have been tense times recently that have put us on our guard." The scarred man's stance relaxed, and he stood taller.

"I saw your confrontation with the Volturi and I understand your apprehension around strangers. I do not hold it against you."

"That has not been our only confrontation in recent weeks. We were attacked and nearly lost two of our family, and one of our allies and friends," he said as the wolf growled quietly deep in his chest. So that must have been the incident the Southerner had mentioned – a vastly different story from the version I'd heard from her.

"The consequences of that fight are still vivid and raw to us. The wolves will no longer welcome strangers on our land, even with our blessing, if the taint of human blood can be seen in their eyes," he explained.

"I see," I said as I turned my gaze to take in the wolf. He still stood stiffly, not relaxing as the vampires had. The scarred man seemed to be their spokesman. "Would you be willing to step off of your land so that we may hold this discussion?" I asked him.

The dark-haired girl stepped out from behind her mate and held his hand at his side. "If you are willing to change your diet, we might be willing to welcome you into our home. Would you concede us that show of faith?" she asked in a voice that tinkled joyfully, just as my own darling wife's had. I immediately warmed to her and that must have shown in my smile.

"Willingly," I replied.

She skipped forward and held out her hand. "I'm Alice. Nice to meet you, Mathias."

Uncertainly, I reached forward and shook her hand. It seemed so formal, so I turned her hand and slowly, so I wouldn't catch anyone by surprise, lifted it to my lips and bowed to kiss it.

"Charmed," I replied as I released it. When I lifted my eyes, I saw the scarred man standing close beside her, protective, but not openly hostile. I'd have to watch myself around their mates.

"Jasper," he said as he held out his own hand. His handshake was firm, and he met my gaze honestly. I could see that if I played by their rules he would accept me, but if I hurt any one of them that I would die. It was as simple as that.

I looked across the divide at the remaining two. They hadn't approached and the large vampire still held his mate tight to his back. Maybe she was one of the ones who nearly died?

Alice introduced us. "This is Emmett." The large man nodded to me." Rosalie." The blonde had finally left the haven of her mates back and nodded to me from his arms. "And Seth." The wolf dipped his head in acknowledgement.

"Mathias," Emmett called to me, "I look forward to meeting you properly when you come to our home. Please excuse my behaviour today. Having put my wife back together once, I have no wish to repeat the experience. She is scared, and I am over-cautious," he explained.

"I understand. I lost my own wife long ago, and that has stayed with me even into this life. I do not begrudge you your caution, my friend."

"Great! We'll see you in about a week then? Shall we meet back here?" Alice asked. Her voice called memories to me from my past, happy memories.

"About that, as I've no need to hunt right now. What would you recommend?" I asked, desperate to hear her voice again.

"Oh, I like deer! But Emmett prefers grizzlies, and Jasper likes anything with claws that can fight back!" she laughed, and my most treasured memories gathered in my mind at the sound. I would savour those later.

"The larger predators are easier on your palate when you are transitioning from your normal diet," Jasper explained. "It takes a long time to resist the pull of human blood. Good luck with your hunting, and see you next week."

They rejoined the others and turned to leave. The wolf relaxed his watchful stance, and I turned to go, too. Then I caught sight of the blonde in profile, the gentle swell of her belly, and her mate's protective hand gliding down the curve. Memories assaulted me.

…"_here feel!" she called excitedly and she grabbed my hand to place it carefully on her swollen belly. I felt the ripple of movement under my hand. She turned in my arms laughing, her long, dark hair fell in disarray around her shoulders, and her green eyes were sparkling with delight. "Ours, Mathias. All ours!" She almost sang the words and I kissed her deeply. Everything I wanted in my life was right here in front of me…_

In those few seconds, I had flown across the ground and stood feet from Rosalie. Her eyes were terrified and growls erupted around me.

"You're PREGNANT!" I exclaimed incredulously.

My view was suddenly blocked by the wall of muscle that was Emmett. Vicious, feral snarls ripped from the werewolf's throat, and Alice leapt in front of me trying to push me away.

"NO!" The pain in her voice snapped me into the harsh reality of the moment, and I crumpled to the ground in submission. If I hadn't, I was sure I would have been rent within seconds.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry! It caught me by surprise. I'm sorry!" I pleaded for my life.

The snarls did not abate, but firm, scarred, hands lifted me to my feet and guided me away. I hung limply in his grasp staring at my feet. If I'd had a heart it would have been beating in my throat.

"I hope you understand how close you came to dying back there," Jasper growled. I nodded mutely.

"You have a choice now. You may choose to promise to keep our secret and go on your way, or you may choose to die. I will be quick; I've had lots of practice." He wasn't being menacing, merely stating the facts.

"Can I choose to keep your secret and come back in a week?" I knew my chances were slim, but what I had seen had shaken me so deeply, I had to know more.

"I can't promise that you'd be welcomed, but yes, you may return and we will decide then." His hands relaxed on me, but hadn't yet released me.

"Thank you. I'm really sorry. I never meant to scare you."

His hands dropped from me, and I turned. He stood close to me, blocking my view of the others. I saw then, in infinite detail, just how many had tried to kill him and failed. I was very lucky to be alive.

"You need to leave now. Hunt well away from here."

I nodded and then called across the ground between us. "Rosalie, I'm so sorry. Please accept my deepest apologies." I turned and ran, trying to find a refuge before I crumpled in on myself – before I gave in to the memories roiling in my mind.

~o~

**Alice's POV**

I collapsed back into Emmett's chest and watched as Jasper virtually carried the nomad away. I felt the last wisps of Jasper's fury dissipate as he brought it tight under control. I started shaking. Emmett held Rosalie and me tight to his body, calming our tremors. Seth had stationed himself between us and the departing men, his snarls did not drop in intensity. My mind shied away from what had just happened. I was mortified that, yet again, my vision had failed me and put lives in danger.

I watched as Jasper held Mathias's crumpled form and listened as he was offered the choice of life or death. I'd seen the fear flash in Mathias's eyes as I'd tried to push him away, then he'd fallen to the ground – that one action saved his life. I would have ripped him apart myself if he'd moved one step closer to Rosalie. I recalled my earlier visions and now understood why he'd seemed so contrite, why he'd been pleading with us when he next came to us.

I wanted to search our future for him again. I knew that decisions had not been made and that what I saw would be choppy and hazy, but I didn't want to give in to the nomad's charm before I was sure we'd be safe. Well, as sure as I could be with my shreds of tattered vision. Bits and pieces glimpsed around the holes that were werewolves and the haziness caused by their blood. It was like a constantly shifting jigsaw puzzle, but the pieces didn't always fit together. There were snatches of similar, but different, futures that I had to twist and turn and try to fit together in different ways, before discarding them to come back to them later.

My head hurt!

The nomad, Mathias, called his apologies to Rosalie and then turned and fled. He looked like he'd been shattered. Jasper stood for a very long time as he watched and listened to his retreat. I could see the Major of his past in the rigid stance he held, fists clenched at his sides. I'd seen the Major too much recently, and it always took so long for that particular shadow to pass.

"Come on, let's go. Jasper and Seth have it covered. I want you two back home. Now!" I didn't resist as Emmett guided us back to the trail, took our hands as if we were children, and then sprinted for home. I retreated to my room as Emmett explained what had happened to Carlisle and Esme. Moments later, a soft knock at the door announced Esme's presence. I hadn't been looking, but the sound had brought her image to my mind.

"Come in," I said softly. She climbed wordlessly onto the bed beside me and held me tight.

I searched.

…_Mathias fell to the floor of the cave and wept. He curled into a ball and pulled at his hair. "What have I done? Oh, Eleanor! What have I done?" He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and pleaded. "Come to me, please! I know you are close, I heard you in her laugh. I saw you with our babe in your belly. Please, come to me…" Then, with a great sigh, he relaxed and smiled. "My Eleanor! My beauty! I could never forget you, you know that." He rolled onto his side and appeared to sleep…_

I opened my eyes; maybe I'd been too harsh judging him?

…_Maria paced in a shabby hotel room. "BASTARD!" She kicked the bed and threw the dresser into the wall. "Fuck you! I'm going home." She strode out of the room and kicked the door behind her…_

…_Maria stood in the Olympic Mountains overlooking our range. She started down the path towards our house…_

…_the door of the cupboard swung open in front of Maria and she fingered the clothes that hung within. Men's clothes – varied but clean. A smart suit, torn designer jeans, a soft plaid shirt. She looked around the shabby hotel room. "Come back, my silent one. I want to know what you know." She went back to her own room and turned on the shower…_

I shook my head, trying to clear it. I'd been searching for Mathias, but instead I'd picked up Maria's indecision again. It seemed she was still nearby.

Esme's fingers brushed my hair away from my face and I looked up into her concerned eyes. "I know, don't push for them. Carlisle told me," I said, then dropped my head back onto her shoulder and let myself drift.

It was a long time before Jasper came home.

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	17. Chapter 17: Recollection

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you to my fantastic Beta RedSummer.**

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**Mathias's POV**

I was such an idiot. All I'd wanted to do was talk to her and I'd ended up acting as if I wanted to kill her. But the sight of her belly, pregnant with child, had caught me by surprise. The memories it had brought of my beautiful Eleanor were so vivid it hurt. That was the last time I'd seen my wife, the last time I was human anyway.

I hadn't wanted this life, I hated it. All I'd ever wanted was to have a normal life, that and Eleanor. I'd loved her since I was a lad and had first seen her at my father's office. She was the daughter of one of his partners. Pretty and demure, but with the cheekiest grin I'd ever seen, I knew I had to work hard if I were to even have a chance at courting her. So, I'd told my father and he'd been delighted that I'd wanted to work my way up in life. I was sure he secretly approved of my plans to court Eleanor, despite my young age; we grew up quicker then, half the world away and over three hundred and fifty years ago.

London, 1651, aged eight years old – that was the year I'd started as a runner at my father's firm, carrying letters, fetching candles, and seeing to the clerks' needs.

…"_More ink, Boy! Didn't I just tell you to get some not a moment ago?"…"Boy! Boy! The lamp is guttering, trim the wick. I can't work in this light."…"Boy! Are you literate? Can you read the addresses to deliver these papers?"…_

Boy! They'd always called me that. You had to earn the right to be called by your own name, and I made damn sure I earned it. With my father I studied letters every night, determined to be able to read and write as well as the clerks. Within three years I had earned my name. Within five after that I had earned the position of junior clerk. By the time I was eighteen I was one of the firm's trusted clerks and had a boy of my own to fetch and carry.

That was the summer I'd asked for Eleanor's hand and had been accepted. Our fathers helped find us a small house that only needed a little repair, and in the autumn we had a small ceremony and she finally became my wife.

Disease was rife in the city, but not to the extent of the pestilences that had occurred in the years before my birth. We kept a clean house, but still suffered three tragic losses – my Eleanor's unborn babes, gone from her belly before they'd even really started to grow. When she fell pregnant again she was so cautious and so careful. She was ecstatic the first time she'd felt movement, and delighted as her belly grew. Nothing was certain, but just the possibility was enough to fill her face with joy and mine with immense love. The same joy I'd seen on Rosalie's face, and the same love I'd seen on Emmett's.

I'd quite possibly thrown away the only opportunity to find out how they'd achieved this miracle. I collapsed to my knees and wept, curled up around the pain.

"What have I done? Oh, Eleanor! What have I done?"

How could I have so foolishly jeopardised this chance at a normal life, something that resembled a human life, anyway? I could never have Eleanor back. I only had myself to blame for that. But to be close to someone, to have a family around me and the possibility of children, it was everything that I craved.

I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes causing starbursts of colour to flare in my vision. I needed the memories to come back. I needed my Eleanor. "Come to me, please! I know you are close, I heard you in her laugh. I saw you with our babe in your belly. Please, come to me!" I pleaded.

Then, as if she had heard me from the heaven's above, she came to me.

_..I saw her bare feet at the top of the stairs, her ankles apparent underneath her thin shift, the belly of which was now stretched tight. "Mathias? You weren't going without saying goodbye, were you?" She yawned widely._

"_I thought you were sleeping, my love. I couldn't bear to wake you, you looked so peaceful."_

"_Always wake me, Mathias. I wouldn't want you to forget me while you're gone for the day."_

_I sighed deeply and smiled. "My Eleanor! My beauty! I could never forget you, you know that."_

"_Why so early? There's barely a light in the sky?"_

"_Some papers for my master, I need to take them to a client to sign. They're not but ten miles from the city, but I want to return safe before you are abed again tonight."_

"_Don't tarry then, my love… Oh!"_

_She ran down the stairs into my waiting arms. "Here, feel!" she called excitedly, as she grabbed my hand to place it carefully on her swollen belly. I felt the ripple of movement under my palm. She turned in my arms, laughing. Her long dark hair fell in disarray around her shoulders and her green eyes were sparkling with delight. "Ours, Mathias. All ours!" She almost sang the words and I kissed her deeply…_

I remembered that last day so clearly. I'd clung to it during my transformation, which had seared it into my new vampire memory. That was the last time I'd seen her when I'd been alive. I no longer counted my life as living – I'd died when I was twenty – now, I merely existed.

…_my day was uneventful but frustrating. The client was a pompous fool and it took all my will power to remain courteous and cordial with him. He'd gone over the papers again, questioning the phrasing and querying the points of law. I just smiled and agreed with everything he'd said. We'd already revised the document three times at his request._

_By the time I left, I was hungry and desperate to get home. My patient mare nickered at me as I finally made it to the stables. She'd been well looked after and had been given oats and water._

"_Hello, my beauty. You've been better fed than I today," I said softly to her. She butted me with her nose and I stroked the velvety flesh before tracing my fingers up to scratch the course hair of her mane. She huffed and jigged, as keen to get moving as I. The stable lad appeared and I shot him a smile and flipped him a coin._

"_At least someone here knows how to care for their guests. Thank you, Lad."_

"_Sir," he acknowledged stiffly and dipped his head. Poor lad, they must have him kept on a tight rein._

_I pulled myself into the saddle and barely had to snap the reins before we trotted out of the grounds and back onto the well-trodden path back to the city. The early evening light was made gloomier still by the rain as it sucked the light out of the sky. I urged my mare into a trot. If I didn't push her too hard she would make it home by nightfall. Not that you could tell under the clouds._

_I'd just emerged from the last of the trees to see the smoke and the lights of the city in front of me, when I was hit violently and knocked from my mare. I heard her screams of pain and the sickening snap of bones. My neck suddenly burnt as a creature landed heavily on my back, knocking the air from my lungs. I caught a fleeting glance of the feral monster that looked so much like a man, and then it was swiped away from me just as quickly, leaving me wondering what I'd just seen._

"_Vermin!" a dark voice growled, quickly followed by a horrific wrenching sound. "Burn it deep in the woods."_

"_They're superstitious here; the vermin pose no real threat to our lifestyle," a silkier voice cut in._

"_Oh, but they do. All we need is for one pack of these deranged creatures to be discovered and we would no longer be the stuff of fancy and superstition. That Anglican pastor's son is too good at his job, that's twice now he's been close to actually finding these foul creatures. I'm sick of having to clean up their mess," the dark voice said, and with the last words he aimed a kick at me. The pain and shock unstuck my frozen mind and I screamed out at the intense agony as the bones in my leg shattered. As I struggled to draw in my next breath, the burning in my neck escalated, searing a fiery trail through my veins and spreading through my body._

"_Put this one out of its misery," the dark voice said almost matter-of-factly, without a hint of concern at my predicament in his tone. I heard another ghastly snap, and the high pitched whimpers of my mare ceased. What was happening to me?_

"_Can't I keep him? He's a pretty one," the silky voice pleaded._

_I forced open my eyes and saw a stunningly beautiful, red-headed woman, and an equally striking, but brooding, dark-haired man standing over me. I reached out a hand and grabbed the woman's leg intending to plead for my life, but the flesh under my hand was cold and hard, completely unyielding to my touch. They both turned and looked down at me._

"_Your choice. You keep him, you babysit him. I'm not having a newborn ripping up my home," the man growled._

"_Be like that then," the woman snapped, and the man actually growled at her._

_More screams ripped from my throat and the burning seemed to spread through my veins, lighting each part of my body as it went._

"_Get him out of here. Get him a very long way from here," the man hissed through clenched teeth._

"_NO!" I managed to force out. "Need… Home!"_

"_Oh, you can't go home, my pretty one. Never in all eternity will you be able to go home," she laughed. She actually laughed, like it was the funniest thing she'd heard in years._

"_Need… Eleanor…" I gasped before more screams tore from my throat._

"_You're dead to her now. You're going to be one of us. Immortal. Un-dead. A vampire, my pretty one!" she laughed again._

_I screamed; the agony of my injuries forgotten in the face of her words. "NO!" I roared out._

"_You're going to have your work cut out keeping him under control," said the man with a hint of amusement. _

"_Oh, I have my ways," the silky voice that I'd come to hate called back to him._

_Then I was flying through the air at an inconceivable speed. Away from London, away from my Eleanor, away from the life I craved…_

My hand moved unconsciously to the scar at my neck, the one I loathed and kept hidden at all costs. My hatred boiled and I wished, for what must have been the millionth time, that she had just put me out of my misery as the man had wanted. Better that than an eternity of knowing what I had lost.

I'd spent those three days alternately screaming, swearing – using language my father would have had me flogged for – and crying out for Eleanor. Every minute of it I'd fought the reality of the woman's words, trying to deny the fire burning through my veins as it erased my life as I knew it. Every minute I'd craved a return to my normal _human_ life, nothing special, I'd never wanted anything special, just normality. That had become my focus, my goal, and I'd dwelt on it as my body burnt.

…_with one last frantic burst of beats, and one final flare of intense agony in my chest, my heart stopped. I was dead._

_The fact that I still breathed was inconsequential._

"_Welcome, my pretty one. Welcome to your new life," the red-head purred, as if this was a great gift._

_My throat burned not the all encompassing fire of the transformation, but excruciating physical pain none the less. I was on my feet in front of her, with my hand around her throat, before the thought of moving had even fully formed in my mind._

"_You're fast now, and strong, but naïve, my pretty one. You can't strangle a vampire. Breathing is optional," she told me sarcastically._

_I squeezed tighter. She looked at me as if I were a contemptuous child, completely unruffled by my attempt to kill her._

_I wasn't a killer. That wasn't me. I wanted my Eleanor. I let the woman go. Defeated._

"_I'm going back to my wife," I growled at her and turned to leave._

"_You can't," she told me bluntly. "You'd kill her in a heartbeat."_

"_No! I love her," I choked out._

"_As if that matters any more. Love is NOTHING. In this life, blood is everything," she growled menacingly as she grabbed my arm and pulled me through the trees._

"_You want to know why you can't go back to your wife? This is why!" she said as she let go of me. I stood confused._

_Then the scent hit me and instinct took over._

_The next thing I knew was that I was knelt on the ground with my eyes closed, groaning with exquisite pleasure. The sensual feeling curled through me powerfully, and I felt warmth spread through my limbs. It was intensely erotic._

_Slowly, I became aware of the weight in my arms, so slight it was barely there. When I opened my eyes, the sight sent me staggering back into the trees. They fell as I slammed into them._

_A girl – mangled and broken, but beautiful. With the marks from my teeth dug deep into her throat. I'd almost bitten right through, and I hadn't even been aware of what I'd done until that moment…_

That was a sight I could never forget, no matter how much I wished it. The remembered feelings that went with the vision made my body shake. I'd felt disgusted and aroused, scared and immensely satisfied. I hated the part of me that went on killing just to feel that again, and I hated her, my would be saviour, for condemning me to this so called life.

…"_You see now? You see why you can't go back?" she asked in her silky, sing-song voice. The smile she gave me was one of a doting parent, proud of their child's achievements. "Do you want more?"_

_Oh God, did I want more! I wanted much, much more. But the disgust weighed heavily on me and I managed to shake my head._

"_Why fight it? You'll learn to love it. Eventually, when you have your bloodlust under control, you'll even be able to walk among humans as if you were one of them and then you'll be able to pick and choose your prey. It'll take a few years, but you'll get used it. You have a lot to learn, my pretty one."_

"_Stop calling me that. I am not yours, and I am not pretty!" I snapped back._

"_Oh, but you are! You are very pretty now. Your looks, the sound of your voice, even your scent. You are irresistible to them now – irresistible to your prey. They would do anything you asked just to be near you!" She laughed as she spoke. "You're mine now, too. My responsibility until you're safe, whether you like it or not."_

_I groaned in frustration and punched the nearest tree. I intended to cause myself pain, to try and clear my mind, but my knuckles were unharmed and the tree shattered under my blow._

"_You'll have to learn how to control that too, my pre –"_

"_DON'T CALL ME THAT!"_

"_What would you have me call you then? What is your name?" she asked coolly._

_I wasn't giving her my name. It was the only thing I had left of my human existence and I was not going to have it sullied by her lips._

"_Call me by any name you choose, but not THAT. I'm not giving you my human name. That life is gone now," I growled back at her. I felt it rumble deep in my chest and I was alarmed at the sounds I could now make. My growl cut off sharply._

"_Not giving me your name? We'll see about that," she said in a hard cold voice, all silkiness long gone._

"_Tell me your name!" she commanded and I felt a shaft of something drive into my body._

"_Mathias!" The word forced itself from my lips completely against my will. I felt the shaft withdraw and I collapsed to the ground._

"_Why did you do that to me?" I gasped._

"_Do what?" she asked innocently as if nothing had passed._

"_Why did you force my name from me?"_

"_Because I could. Some vampires have a gift and that is mine. How did you know?" she asked curiously._

"_How could I not, when I felt you rip it from me," I snarled back._

"_Interesting! You could feel it. Maybe you have a gift to?" she said delightedly. "It will be fun to find out what it is!"_

_I stood with my fists clenched, glaring at her as she paced. She acted as if this were the best game in the world._

"_Normally, it's a strength you had as a human, but amplified. Sometimes it's a strongly held belief or longing that you take with you through the transformation. I wonder what it is with you?" she pondered aloud._

_I'd been nothing special as a human and I'd held no strong beliefs. I'd only wanted to be normal through my transformation. Maybe that was what it was, a greater sensitivity to things that weren't normal, like the woman's gift._

_Something must have shown on my face and her eyes suddenly narrowed. "What have you thought of?" she asked._

"_Nothing," I replied._

"_Tell me what you thought of," she commanded and I felt the beginnings of that shaft she'd sent at me last time. _

_Something inside me snapped and lashed out at her. I was seething with rage that she would try again so soon, so blatantly, knowing that I could feel her. She recoiled as if slapped, and the painful shaft that probed at me disappeared._

"_I said, I'd thought of nothing," I answered her coolly, and her shocked eyes travelled over me with a hint more respect…_

I laughed at the memory. She'd hated that she couldn't compel me to answer her questions or do her bidding, but her constant efforts allowed me to gain control of my gift. My one regret was that I'd lost my name to her. Whenever she used it, it was as if she were rubbing in that first and only victory of hers. It was, after all, the only one that really mattered to me. Her name had been Gilian, and I'd used it as little as possible.

* * *

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	18. Chapter 18: Apprehension

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you to my fantastic Beta RedSummer.**

* * *

**Jasper's POV**

Seth stood with me for a long time watching the path of the nomad's retreat. I tried to identify every tiny feeling I'd picked up to piece together a better picture of the man who'd come to meet us, but the growing feelings of hunger radiating from Seth distracted me.

"Don't you ever stop eating, Seth?" I asked, finally giving up on my quiet analysis.

He looked at me quizzically and a hint of shock fizzed in the air between us. I understood his unspoken question.

"No! I can't read minds," I laughed. "But I can read emotions and feelings, and right now you are feeling VERY, very hungry. Am I right?"

He huffed at me, shook his ears, yawned and trotted off.

"No point feeling indignant, Seth. We all know you could eat a horse!"

I took off at an easy pace heading for home. Seth loped quietly beside me, watchful and wary. He was a good kid.

~o~

"I'm not _sure_, Carlisle. I could only base my actions on his feelings. Without Edward, we couldn't know his thoughts," I said as I paced the length of the living room. The rest of the family sat stiffly on the sofas, hanging onto our words. Emmett sat with Rosalie, Alice with Esme, and even Edward and Bella. Much to his disappointment, Edward had picked up our mental turmoil the moment he'd stopped to drop off his car at the house, he'd had other plans.

"I nearly killed him right there. It was only when he fell that I registered it wasn't fear or anger that he was projecting, but shock, shame, remorse and longing. I only hope my decision was correct," I continued, internally at war with myself.

The questions swam around my head, I'd never been so uncertain. His feelings had been so strong that they'd had a desperate edge to them. Whenever I'd felt that desperation before I knew it meant danger, but now I wasn't sure. Away from the battlefield it wasn't just a choice between kill or die.

I'd felt his longing – he wanted what we had. He wanted to come and talk to us. Even after his outburst, when he'd collapsed in total submission, the primary feeling wasn't one of fear, but one of yearning. I'd felt that fear later, when he took a good long look at my scars But when he'd run it was anguish, desperation and love he left trailing in the air behind him.

_Should I have killed him? Should I have let him live? What were the implications for my family now? Would this endanger Alice?_

Edward rose and put a hand on my shoulder, stopping my pacing. "Jasper, you can't know the answers to those questions. You based your actions on what you knew at the time. There's no point second guessing. If there's something significant happening with him, Alice might be able to pick it up. If she can't then we'll cope. After all, we outnumber him," he said. Behind his obvious worry, I could still feel the resentment he felt at coming back from Charlie's to find that he'd have to shelve his plans for the afternoon.

"I am sorry, Jasper. I didn't mean to pressure you. There've just been too many things happening recently and that's left me feeling uneasy," said Carlisle. I could feel agitation and discomfort radiating off of him. "I've always been open about our lifestyle, and I do not want to push away someone who is genuinely willing to change. But I think we should be on our guard now, and we need to give serious consideration to our next move. Once Rosalie's and Emmett's baby is safely delivered, I want to be away from here. We've been under too much scrutiny recently and I don't want to give the Volturi any further ammunition to launch a repeat assault. Not now that we have such a valuable secret to keep."

"There's more, Carlisle. I'm not sure, but the more I think about it, the more I feel that the nomad was hiding something. It felt a bit like he was holding something in check. He might have a defensive gift that he didn't want to use." I tried to explain the insubstantial feeling, but wasn't sure how to frame the sensation in words.

"Did it feel like Bella's shield?" Edward asked.

I thought about that and looked at Bella. "Would you throw it out, so I can feel how it feels to you?" I asked.

She nodded and I felt the pliable elasticity of her shield as it rippled out from her. However, the feeling wasn't what I'd picked up from the nomad. What I'd felt had been more like something being withheld.

"That's not it. That's too… free. Can you draw it in tight, like when you're trying to let Edward into your mind?"

The elastic shield suddenly snapped tight and then I felt Bella's strain as she tried to push it away from her.

"That's a bit like it. Stop pushing and see if you can just draw it inside you instead," I asked, trying to verbalise the feeling in my mind.

Bella looked uncertainly at me, and then shut her eyes. The feeling I got off her next was very much like the undertone I picked up from the nomad.

"That's it! He was holding something back, something like Bella's shield, but not. I think he must wield it in a similar way to generate those feelings," I said, excited to have put a finger on the cause of my discomfort.

Edward was grinning madly at Bella when she opened her eyes. "Oh, yes! Yes, indeed."

"I wondered if you could hear me. It's easier than pushing it aside," Bella grinned back.

"Right," said Emmett, effectively cutting across Edward and Bella's delight at their discovery. "There's a nomad on our border who has an unhealthy interest in my wife, and he has a kind of defensive something-or-other, that may or may not affect us. Is it just me, or does anyone else want to brush up on their hand to hand? Without the benefits of gifts?"

I nodded in agreement. "That's a very good idea. I've been planning on teaching Alice anyway. She's scared after Maria, and even more so now her vision is so unreliable. I was planning on borrowing a werewolf to completely blank out her visions. What about you, Edward? Fancy a fight when Bella has you blindfolded?" I suggested.

"It makes sense, but how do we turn off yours?" Edward replied.

"Let me try, Jasper. Have you ever been under my shield on your own, with everyone else outside? I know I can't block you from reading and affecting me, but it might work," said Bella.

"Let's give it a go then," I said.

"Tell me if you stop feeling things," she said.

Waiting patiently with my eyes closed, I soaked up the anticipation in the room. But soon that was tinged with frustration and I guessed Bella's shield couldn't block other influences on me. I opened my eyes and shook my head. "Nothing's happening, sorry."

Then Seth padded through, heading for the kitchen, and I had an idea. "Seth? Can I borrow you for a minute?"

"Sure! I'm just going to grab some food, back in a mo," he replied.

"No, Seth. It won't take long and you can eat afterwards. Just come and stand next to me. That's all I'm asking. Then you can eat."

"And it won't take long?"

"Nope!"

"Alright," he conceded with a huge sigh and wistful look back at the kitchen.

The kid was famished. When he stood next to me all I could feel was his hunger. I wasn't sure if I could test whether all the other emotions were being masked, and then Edward groaned.

"Pack it in, Emmett. I'm not shielded and I'm seeing everything you're using to ramp up that particular feeling."

Emmett was smirking as he spoke. "Go get some food now, Seth, and let's see what happens!"

As Seth stepped away from me, the feelings of intense hunger faded, only to be replaced by a very different sort of hunger flowing from Emmett. The guy was fucking insatiable! A fresh wave of lust and arousal swept through me. I grabbed the arm of the nearest chair. "Okay, pack it in! It worked!"

Emmett's ardour cooled and was replaced by amusement. "You two are no fun! The only ones that can hear or feel when I let my imagination run riot and you're both prudes! No fun at all!"

I growled and picked up Seth's ravenous hunger, ramped it up a bit, and flung it out towards Emmett. He sat down fast.

"That was underhand. Now you've got me craving bacon and I'll only have to throw it up again later," he said indignantly as he got up to head for the kitchen.

"Boys! Boys! Play nicely now," Carlisle said with amusement. "We've got it covered then. We need one very hungry werewolf or Emmett to block Jasper, another werewolf for Alice, and Bella for Edward. Who's for a little hand to hand?"

Emmet had stopped and turned, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Not Emmett! Please not Emmett! If you make me do that then Edward has to fight unshielded too," I begged.

Carlisle laughed. "Seth? Have you eaten yet?" he called.

"Not yet," Seth called back from the kitchen. If he was in there, then it wouldn't be long until he'd snagged something to eat.

"How do you fancy helping out with an experiment? The end result might be Jasper getting his ass kicked."

Seth appeared at the door with a monster sandwich in his hands. "Now this, I've got to see!" he said excitedly.

"The only thing is – you can't eat until afterwards," Carlisle explained and I watched Seth's face drop.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because, Seth," I replied. "Your extreme and insatiable appetite is powerful enough to mask the feelings of those around me, and they want me to have a go at fighting without that advantage."

Seth looked longingly at his sandwich, and then put it down. "I best see you get a good pummelling then, Jasper. I'm STARVING!"

One on one it wasn't much different, I could read their faces and their stances, but I was unpleasantly surprised at how much I'd come to rely on the feelings I picked up when we fought two or more on one. Emmett caught me from behind so hard that I felt something crack. He appeared as shocked as I was that he'd got through my defences.

Having discovered my weakness, I got pummelled a few more times, much to Seth's amusement, before I learnt to keep a closer eye on my opponents. I'd been relying on the surge of adrenalin, or its vampire equivalent, that preceded an attack.

Even Seth had a go in wolf form, saying that if he was going hungry then he wanted a _bite_ of the action, too. He got behind me just once, when we were four on one, and managed to get his teeth in my ass. After that there was no point in trying to practice any further. Everyone, apart from me, was in hysterics. To add insult to injury, Esme, Rose and Alice were sat on the porch, collapsed on each other's shoulders they were laughing so hard.

With that much amusement in the air, I couldn't hold onto my indignation for long and reluctantly cracked a smile. I certainly had to work more on that if I was to protect my family. I couldn't have weak spot so large that it allowed a juvenile werewolf a way in.

Emmett finally managed to stop laughing and started rummaging in his pocket. "Jacob is going to _love_ that! I can't believe Seth got you!" he gasped out, laughing again harder still. "But a deal's a deal, even if it was Seth instead of Jacob in the end," he said as he flipped me his credit card. "I said I'd pay good money to see teeth in your ass. Now, go buy the girls something nice!"

I stood there with my ass smarting and Emmett's credit card in my hand. Maybe it was worth it after all!

~o~

We postponed the shopping trip and met back with Seth first thing the next morning. He'd brought Quil and Embry with him to join in the fun. They were snickering behind my back and I felt their anticipation. As Seth wasn't blocking anything, I turned and flipped them over my shoulder the moment they leapt.

"Uh-uh, boys. You gotta get Seth nice and hungry before you can pull that one on me," I scolded them.

They joined in the sparing – it was good practice for them as well. Edward and Alice had a much harder time adjusting to fighting '_blind'_, as they called it. They both relied so much on knowing what they needed to avoid that they hadn't picked up the other tell-tale signs – subtle changes in expression or posture, shifts of weight, or the movements of their opponent's feet.

Alice had guessed what she'd be up against, but Edward hadn't. When he realised how weak he was fighting blind, I felt genuine fear oozing off of him. We all swapped and changed pairs, the only ones we didn't fight were our own mates. I just couldn't do that. Coach, yes. Fight, no.

As lunchtime approached, I felt Seth's hunger grow, and when we all heard his stomach grumble they turned on me as one.

"Uh no! TEN on one! You've got to be kidding!" I growled as they circled me.

"We're not going to fight you, Jasper. We've just got to touch your back," Edward explained. I guessed it was in revenge for all the times I'd flattened him that morning.

I sank into a crouch and eyed them. It might work.

"Okay, a few rules if I'm going to learn from this ritual humiliation. One: only one person attacks at a time. Two: you stand at arm's length from each other. Three: I catch you, you leave the circle. Four: no gifts," I stated as I circled in the opposite direction to those around me.

"I'll try keeping Edward shielded, but I've not tried to cover just one person and leave everyone else outside. Not like this, with everyone moving," Bella said uncertainly.

"Good, then we're all learning today," I said as I ducked and turned, narrowly missing catching Embry who'd leapt when I'd still had him in the corner of my eye. I watched as he rejoined the other side of the circle, and then I felt a light touch on my back.

"Concentrate, my love!" Alice said as she ducked under my arm, kissed me and retreated back to join the circle.

It pushed my remaining senses to the absolute limit, straining to hear every footfall, circling and dodging to keep as many within my sight as possible. It took an hour and a half to whittle the numbers down to three and I'd been _tagged_ at least a dozen times. Surprisingly, it was Esme, Alice and Bella who remained. Their light footfalls and lithe moves were harder to detect than the unsubtle efforts of the likes of Emmett.

We danced around each other gracefully and the one-at-a-time rule seemed to go out of the window as they became more confident in their movements. I heard a slight huff behind me and reached my arms over my shoulders as Alice landed heavily on my back. She succeeded in knocking me to the ground, but I caught her before she managed to leap away. I kissed her quickly, before making her leave the circle.

Two on one was much harder. They couldn't keep me between them as I shifted to keep both in my sights. Esme looked particularly determined then they both lunged at once. Bella slipped through my grasp in front of me, and Esme ducked behind me and slapped the back of my head in passing. She'd come on a lot playing this 'game'. I knew she hated fighting, but she obviously had the moves, even if she didn't have the confidence to put them to use.

They tried that tactic again, but I caught Esme as Bella leapt on my back. I was impressed. If we'd really been fighting, then the two together would have been a significant team. Claps and cheers erupted from our audience.

"You'd be formidable if you let yourself move like that in a real fight, you know," I whispered in Esme's ear, before letting her go.

She looked at me hard before giving me a small nod of acknowledgement. I hoped that meant she'd put what she learnt into the next practice. The afternoon's efforts were particularly impressive, and I decided that everyone needed a turn in the circle. The learning was two-way – quiet, un-broadcast attack, and increased awareness of everything around you.

I grinned when I noticed Embry and Quil sat on top of Seth. His hands were pinned behind his back and Emmett was teasing him with a huge bacon sandwich. Nessie sat laughing, chewing on her own piece of bacon. Seth was nearly crying with hunger. Our fight had taken nearly two hours and the poor kid was beyond desperate. Because I was closely focused on his feelings, I actually felt him phase. He flung Embry and Quil off his back and flattened Emmett, snatching the sandwich out of his hands and literally wolfed it down in one go.

"Seth!" wailed Esme. "If you carry on like that, I'm going to run out of shorts, and then you'll be stuck buck naked. Now, go get some more from the garage, while I cook you something else." She shooed him away and he loped round the corner with his tongue hanging out. Smugness came off him in waves.

"And as for you two!" she scolded as she eyed Embry and Quil. "For that, I'm not going to tell you where Nessie hid the cake!"

"Oh, please! You know we love your cakes, you can't do that to us!" they pleaded, whining and begging on their knees like puppies.

"Try me!" she said harshly and strode into the house.

Embry and Quil turned their attention to Nessie, who just managed to start running as they pounced. They tickled her into submission, until she was gasping for breath and crying out that she would tell if they'd just, please, stop!

Alice slid under my arm and looked up at me radiating love. I couldn't resist bending to pick her up and kiss her. She'd moved like a demon today and I couldn't help imagining how she would move in other exciting ways tonight. I felt a trip to the forest coming on, maybe one of our spots by the waterfall, or maybe the lake. I decided we'd need a large fire to cast its flickering light and warm our bodies.

"I like the idea of the waterfall, there's a fire pit near there, too," she whispered sexily in my ear. How had she seen that? I looked around and saw that all the wolves had disappeared into the kitchen.

"The waterfall it is then, Darlin'." I decided, imagining in detail just what I'd do to her when we got there. I felt her shiver in anticipation.

"See you guys later then!" Edward called to us. I felt resentment and jealously oozing from him. He had Bella's hand in one of his and Nessie tucked in the other arm. He really needed a babysitter.

"Tell you what, I'll take the girls shopping tomorrow. I've still got Emmett's credit card."

"Yea!" sang Nessie, bouncing in Edward's arms. "Can I come too? Pleeeease!"

I looked down at Alice, "What do you reckon? Should we take her, too?" I asked. Alice glanced over and we saw Bella standing behind Edward and Nessie, begging silently.

"Oh, I think we should. After all, she's been growing again, and we've got to restock Seth's supply of shorts. He's growing _and_ shredding them on an almost daily basis!"

Nessie wriggled in a joyous dance as Edward carried her into the house. I grabbed Alice's hand and dragged her into the trees.

"You better run fast, Mrs. Whitlock. I might not manage to restrain myself for long."

She stood on her toes and pulled my head down, kissing me deeply and leaving me gasping for more. As she pulled away, she ran.

* * *

**Please leave me some love! A few words would make my day. K :o)**

**Oh, umm... Yeah, sorry. I've got to re-write a chunk of Ch20 as it doesn't really work as it stands. I'm on the case, but it might take a while to re-beta as RedSummer is living the high life for a few weeks (not jealous at all – oh, no).**** I'll put Ch19 up in two weeks so you don't end up with a really huge gap with no updates. **

**I need baby names, too. I'm WAY ahead in Ch33 and Rosalie is due soon.**


	19. Chapter 19:  Regret

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**Thank you to my fantastic Beta RedSummer.**

* * *

**Mathias's POV**

I was amazed I hadn't killed Gilian in that first year. But I'd soon figured out that if I wanted to see my beloved Eleanor again, even from a distance, then I needed to learn what she taught. It was a difficult and turbulent relationship. When I'd mastered walking through the dark streets of a city with enough control to pick and choose my prey, when I was able to deny the bloodlust long enough to hold a conversation, and then simply walk away, then, I knew I was ready to return to London. It had taken two long and painful years.

What I found when I got there horrified me.

…_Great open pits were filled with bodies and the stench of sickness and death filled the air. Doors were marked with garish crosses and hooded 'doctors' walked the streets. The plague had come to London and my stomach clenched at the thought of my Eleanor among the victims. I strode through the streets, trying desperately to keep to human pace, as I headed for our house. No cross adorned the door, but it was empty and lifeless. I could barely breathe as I stood clutching at the gate._

"_She's gone," a voice said behind me, and I keened my grief. Gone, and not able to say goodbye, or even, if it were possible, to bring her into this life with me._

"_Not dead! Sorry, sir!" A young man quickly corrected my assumption. "I didn't mean to give you that impression. When the plague struck, the wealthy left the city. They took their staff with them. The key people in her father's firm have moved to a client's country retreat for the duration of this plague. Mistress and her son are staying with them until the worst had passed."_

_I breathed a huge sigh of relief and wondered if the pompous fool who'd been the death of me, was now the reason for her life._

"_She is well and healthy?" I asked._

"_She was last time I saw her. Do you know her?" he asked._

"_I did, years ago. Then tragedy struck and I wasn't able to return. I just needed to know she was well, even amongst all this pestilence."_

"_Tragedy struck her as well. Her husband was murdered on the road – at least, that's the story. His horse was found slain and his body was never discovered. Nobody who knew him would believe he'd leave willingly." The young man looked at his feet, as if embarrassed to have told so much to a stranger. The power of my presence was already beginning to overwhelm him._

"_I appreciate your candour; it's a comfort to me. You said she'd had a son. Is he fine and well also?" I asked curiously, hoping that he would give me the news I craved to hear._

"_He's a fine young lad, the apple of his grandfather's eye. He looks a lot like his late father, but has his mother's eyes," the young man described._

_I smiled at the vision he'd created in my mind and the young man's breath caught in his throat. I heard his heart rate increase and saw his almost imperceptible lean towards me. I was truly the perfect predator._

"_Thank you, young man, you have eased my heart. I bid you good day," I said politely, then turned on my heels to leave the city._

_I met Gilian and the brooding man at the edge of the forest, almost in the same place I'd met them so disastrously two years before._

"_Did you find what you sought, Mathias?" Gilian asked, actually sounding concerned for a change._

"_I did not. She'd fled the plague for the country. With God's will, she'll survive the outbreak," I replied formally, aware now of the sheer size of her male companion. "You haven't introduced us, Gilian."_

"_I'm sorry. This is Richard, self proclaimed keeper of the peace in London," she said as she swept her hand towards the man. He nodded, but didn't hold out his hand._

"_Richard, this is Mathias, whom you met before under less fortunate circumstances," she said as she swept her hand towards me. I nodded in return, and kept my own hands firmly behind my back._

"_You got him under control then?" he asked as if I weren't standing feet away from him._

"_Anything but!" she exclaimed. "He's very interesting. We've come to an understanding, and he has worked hard to be able to blend in. Although he's still relatively young, his control is impeccable. He wanted to see his wife, and then he will leave us."_

"_Your gift is slipping then, dear Gilian?" Richard asked._

"_No. But he has his own to counter it," she stated._

"_Interesting indeed," said Richard, and he finally met my gaze. "We could do with an extra pair of hands if you intend waiting for your _wife's_ return. The vermin have spread; they are taking almost as many victims as the plague. They are becoming reckless and the danger of discovery is high. I'll teach you to fight, and you can get your revenge for the life they thrust you into."_

_The thought was tempting, if only in that I could remain and wait for Eleanor's return. If I could make the city safer for her, and for our son, then it was something I would learn, and learn to do well._

"_I'll help," I replied…_

We had no need to hunt during that time, we'd just slip into the houses daubed with crosses and the occupants mysteriously died of the plague overnight. We were granting them a mercy, compared to the long painful death they'd faced.

We eradicated two large packs of the vermin, and in doing so the death toll in the city dropped markedly. There were still two or three smaller packs that we hadn't traced to their daylight hideaways, but we picked them off as we found them. They were completely feral, unrecognisable compared to the company I kept. I finally understood why Richard referred to them as vermin. Any humanity they'd once possessed had long gone, and they were truly creatures of nightmares.

That had been a happy year.

…_Eleanor's household had returned when the death toll dropped, and on cloudy days I could walk in the city and watch her with our son. She'd called him Mathias after me, and every time I heard her call his name it cut me deeply. I so desperately wanted to go to her and take her in my arms._

_The shadow of grief was still apparent on her face, but the boisterous toddler kept her happy, and I often heard her beautiful laugh._

"_Mother? Do I have a Father?" little Mathias asked one day. I froze where I stood, listening closely for her answer._

"_Yes you do, little man, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. He was good and proper, and a clerk at your grandfather's firm. He looked a lot like you. He's in heaven waiting for us and he will love you just as much as I," she replied seriously._

"_Why did he go there already?"_

"_He had no choice, Mathias. When God calls, and your time on earth is done, then all you can do is to go peacefully and wait in heaven for the ones you love."_

"_You're not going to go are you?"_

"_I hope not, my sweet. I want to watch you grow from here, not watching from afar." She picked him up and carried him on her hip. My heart ached as I was forced to be the one 'watching from afar'. If only I were in heaven waiting for them! Instead I'd been dragged screaming through the gates of hell._

_But at least I could watch them, listen to them, and drift through the streets behind them. Their own personal, invisible, invincible, guard…_

I smiled at the memories of those few months; they were the ones I treasured. I pulled them out frequently and looked them over like the valuable jewels that they were. That one summer of memories was all that I'd had to sustain me over the three hundred and fifty years since.

…"_ARRGHH!" thundered Richard as he stomped back into the house we used as a base. We were rarely in it together as I couldn't stand their company. Whenever possible, I stayed out during the day watching Eleanor, and then hunted at night for either prey or vermin. I had no care what Gilian and Richard did with their days._

"_God damned Vermin! That preacher's son found a pack of them and drove them from their shelter. I finished them after they left the city, but not before one turned and bit him before it fled. I haven't seen the man since. His scent is all over this part of the city. He's been running around all day trying to find those damned vermin, and NOW, when I need to track him, it's impossible to follow," he said through gritted teeth._

"_We have to find him before he emerges. We have to find and kill him. He's too well known. If he shows his face as a vampire in this city then we're done for," Richard pointed out angrily and punched the wall in frustration_

"_What does he look like, I don't think I know the man," I asked._

"_He's very tall, over six foot, blonde hair, blue eyes – but that's irrelevant NOW. Well dressed, but not in finery, just good cloth in a good cut. He's twenty three, and answers to Cullen. Carlisle Cullen," Richard said as he led us out the door…_

Over the years, as the renown of his coven grew, the irony had not been lost on me. The man I'd once set out to kill, the same man who'd escaped us, who'd managed to transform undetected in the city and then leave without killing a soul – that was the man I was now so desperate to meet. That was the man who held the secret to everything I craved.

However, he was also the man who'd caused me to lose it all in the first place. Those days and nights I'd been scouring the city for Carlisle were the beginning of the end for me. That week was all it took for my world to end all over again.

…_Eleanor's house was shuttered the morning I return to my vigil. As I approached I saw people cross the street and hurry past her door – the door that was daubed with the plague cross._

_I couldn't restrain myself and I dashed for the back of the house and forced the door. I sped up the stairs to where I heard two faltering heartbeats. They lay bundled up in bed together, little Mathias cradled to Eleanor's chest. They shivered whilst they huddled, sweating under the blankets. They'd been left to die on their own._

_Little Mathias had vomit down his front, swellings on his neck, and dark lesions on his moist, grey skin. I gently stroked his forehead and pushed his sweaty hair from his face. His eyes flickered open and met mine without fear._

"_Have you come for me, Father?" he asked softly._

"_I have, my son," I replied._

"_Good. It hurts," he said as he grabbed my hand and hugged it to his chest. "You're cold."_

"_It only feels that way because you're fevered. It's warm and beautiful and light in heaven."_

"_Good," he said softly and relaxed underneath my hand. I felt and heard his heartbeat as it fluttered in his chest. When it stopped, I took him in my arms and sobbed bitterly._

"_You came for him," Eleanor whispered. Her voice was strained, breaking with pain. "He was too scared to go alone, and I daren't go before him. Thank you, Mathias. I've missed you so much."_

_I lay little Mathias down on the bed carefully and took Eleanor in my arms. Her body was burning and it felt as fragile as glass. "Oh, my Eleanor, I've watched over you. I've missed you everyday with all my heart. I love you, now and for eternity."_

"_I love you, Mathias. Please take me with you, too. I want to live forever in heaven with you. I don't want to live another day apart." She laid her head against my chest and wept. I wanted her with me for all eternity, and I hoped I was strong enough to give her that._

_I lowered my lips to kiss her forehead, and then moved to her throat. Just a bite, and then let go. Just a bite. My teeth broke through her fragile skin and her blood touched my tongue. I couldn't help but to draw some into me. I nearly lost myself. With immense effort, I pulled away. The desire to feed was an irresistible compulsion. I looked into her smiling face and waited, only to realise that the room was deathly quiet. Not a sound._

_I waited a long time, just to be sure. Had I been too late? _

_A strangled wail broke from my throat. I pulled little Mathias's body into Eleanor's arms and held both of them to my chest as my grief consumed me._

_Gilian and Richard found me there just before dusk._

"_You cannot help them now, they are beyond you," Gilian said softly, not through any care on my part, but probably because she rightly guessed that I'd have killed her if she'd touched me just then._

"_What I have to say will not ease your grief, Mathias, but it will give you an outlet. I've found the last pack of vermin. They're in the heart of the city. Take your anger out on them," Richard said from the door._

_I wrapped Eleanor and little Mathias tightly in the sheet, so he would always be cradled in her arms, kissed them both for the final time, and followed Richard and Gilian out of the house and into the city._

_There was only one exit from the den the vermin were hiding in – a mistake that cost them their lives. It was a disused cellar next to a bakery. Gilian prevented them from escaping while Richard and I tore them limb from limb. The fire that consumed their bodies was intense, but contained, or it would have been if the flour in the air hadn't ignited and set light to the bakery._

_As we'd walked away it had started to spread…_

I'd left them both that night. I'd had nothing to keep me there. Nothing to live for and no way to die. I hadn't looked back, I'd just kept walking.

For many, many years I barely existed, emerging only when the urge to hunt became desperate. I avoided humans and others of our kind. I came to resemble the vermin I used to hunt, in appearance, if not totally in demeanour.

I'd been shocked out of my torpor by a chance encounter one night. I still don't know who saved my life, but, surprisingly, I was grateful to them now.

…_I crouched feeding, watchful and guarded. I was miles from anywhere and had caught the scent of a lone traveller on the road at night. Suddenly, I felt the presence of others of my kind and turned quickly, snarling, in their direction. Two men stood warily some distance away._

"_Watch out! This one's gone feral."_

"_Should we just kill it, or report it to the Volturi and let them tidy up this mess? They wouldn't want one to cause trouble."_

"_No, we'll report it. This one's gifted so they wouldn't be impressed if we killed one that might be useful, would they? And I wouldn't want to displease Jane, not again. Once is enough, even in an immortal life."_

_They turned and disappeared into the trees. I was torn between wanting to run and hide, and wanting to follow them, to meet them and talk to them. I was fighting a new sensation – curiosity. Who were the Volturi? Why should they care what I was doing? How did the man know I was gifted? Then Gilian's introduction of Richard came back into my mind. 'Self proclaimed keeper of the peace' she'd called him. Maybe the Volturi filled the same role in this area?_

_I took in my own appearance then, and realised how far I'd fallen into my stupor. The apathy that had taken over my life had blinded me to the state I was in. Every part of me was filthy, what remained of my clothes were rotten and mildewed. I even had green growths of mould or moss forming in my hair. No wonder the men had left quickly. If, all those years ago, I had seen myself as I was now, I would have simply killed the vermin for what it was and thought nothing further of it._

_It took longer to get clean again than I'd anticipated. All my restraint had been lost over the years, and I no longer had control over my bloodlust around humans. Acquiring soap and clothes seemed to require the kind of control that I had barely mastered in the past. In the end another lone traveller saw to all my needs. His blood fuelled my body, the clothes in his pack fit well enough, and his toiletries sufficed to clean the grime from my skin and hair. Freshly fed, and cleanly dressed, I suddenly felt a whole lot more human than I had in years…_

That had been the turning point. I'd had to learn the local languages and the customs of the civilised vampires I'd met. There were never more than one or two together. I found out what I'd needed to know and left amicably. During the Southern Wars, I discovered just to what extent the Volturi would go to protect the life that they led, and I also became fascinated by the sheer number that managed to live together.

My curiosity had peaked when the Denali and then the Cullen covens began to grow. By then I'd known how the Volturi were bound, but the new covens were different, they were families. That new knowledge brought Eleanor close to the surface again, and I envied them their seemingly normal lives.

That curiosity was what had made me follow the Volturi to their confrontation with the Cullens, and that decision had changed my life.

I stood at the edge of the Olympic National Park ready to go hunting. I'd waited until my eyes were black and the urge to hunt was strong. For the first time ever, I was after a prey that wouldn't be drawn in by me, one that would fight back. Apparently, the more it fought back the better it tasted.

I wasn't convinced. I nearly gagged at the muddy taste of the blood as it went down my throat.

* * *

**Please leave me some love! A few words would make my day. K :o)**


	20. Chapter 20:  Longing

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**A huge thank you to RedSummer - Beta Extraordinaire!**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

I heard the soft sound behind me and twisted just as Jasper landed on my back. My hand shot out and I caught his ankle firmly, wrenching him around so I could jump on top of him. We both crashed to the ground, hard. I was furious he'd nearly got me again. He'd spent the past two days flattening me and my patience had long gone. I couldn't even berate him as the damn idea had been mine in the first place. Talk about a joke back-firing.

Jasper lay on the ground beneath me grinning. "Nice move there, Edward. I wondered when I'd wind you up enough to break through that self-pity and get you to actually use the senses that you were born with."

My irritation flared and I growled as I let him up to leave the circle. As I watched him depart I heard a small scuff and a huff of breath. I ducked quickly as Alice flew over my head, rolled elegantly on landing, and rejoined the circle on the other side. She dropped back into a crouch and smiled.

The wolves' silent tread had allowed them to _tag_ me many times over before I'd detected the slightest increase in their heartbeat just before they'd attacked. Once I paid attention to that I had them caught the next time each of them pounced. They weren't pleased that their fun had been curtailed, but they enjoyed their ring-side seats as Jasper set out to humiliate me with frustrating regularity.

Emmett was still broadcasting his moves with his heavy tread and huff of exertion. We'd long since given up sending him from the circle when he got caught as he did so nearly every time. His challenge was to stop broadcasting his moves and to actually tag someone. Whoever he finally got near would probably have to be dug back out of the ground. I could see the frustration clearly on his face. I dreaded to think what was actually going through his mind, blindfolded as I was by Bella's shield.

We all dropped back into our crouches and began circling again. My head was in constant motion, my eyes keeping track of where everyone was. The girls had flattened me several times before I'd figured that they had been breaking out of the circle and staying behind me as the rest continued round. As long as there hadn't been an obvious gap, I hadn't paid attention to who'd gone behind me but not come out the other side. Those pummellings I'd rightly deserved.

I'd finally got down to four against one. Emmett, who'd yet to tag me, Esme, who seemed to have transformed into an avenging angel – silent and deadly, Bella and Alice, who were both slippery as eels and almost as impossible to catch, even if they didn't quite manage to mask their approach.

Esme's eyes narrowed in determination and I heard Emmett's heavy tread behind me. I kept my attention mainly focused on Esme, and then I got totally hammered from the opposite side. Emmett leapt away from me crowing with delight. I had heard his usual scuffs and treads, but I hadn't heard him leap at all. Esme grinned. She must have been in on the attack, drawing my attention to leave me open for Emmett. That was playing dirty!

We rejoined the circle again when Seth's voice cut through the practice ground. "He's back."

The atmosphere changed instantly and Bella slipped her shield away from me. We'd already decided who'd go: Jasper, Alice, Carlisle and I.

Emmett had refused to leave Rosalie's side and wouldn't have her near the nomad until we were sure he was safe. Jasper wouldn't be without Alice for similar reasons, but knew he had to be there, blindfolded or otherwise; he was still our most formidable fighter. Carlisle insisted, as he was patriarch of this family and he wanted to be the one to welcome the nomad if his intentions were true. That was why I was there, to read everyone and give the nod if we were all clear. Seth was to follow but stay back so as to leave Alice's visions as clear as possible.

We stood quietly for a moment and then jogged into the forest.

~o~

He stood with his hands open and spread at his sides, his concerned eyes upon us. His mind was whirling with anxious thoughts, mentally voicing his fears of rejection. I could also see that he was aware of us on a completely different level. He was registering our insubstantial intrusions and he appeared to be _allowing_ us access. I closely watched his mind as we stood facing each other.

"_There are two I haven't met yet, and another who's gifted. I wonder which one. I can feel the constant pull on me, it's only gentle, not an offensive gift, maybe it's one of defence. I can feel the flutter I caught last time too, so it must be the man or the girl – Jasper or Alice. It's as if my whole body is being sensed from head to toe. There's a different tenor to it, too, as if it could turn on me."_

It surprised me that he could feel us. I knew the constant pull must be me. I hadn't been with them last time, but who was the flutter he could feel? Most likely it was Jasper. Alice's gift didn't work on a person's body as such, only on the future that that person influenced.

"Please, I'm sorry for any anxiety I caused you last week. I meant no harm. I've fed, and I made sure I had no taint of human blood on me. Please accept me onto your land. I would like to speak with you. That is all." His voice was strong and clear over the distance.

The nomad looked contrite, but I focused on his churning thoughts.

"_Please? Whatever they are doing to me I hope it allows me to visit. I want to meet that little girl, I doubt they'll let me near Rosalie again. Pregnant! No wonder they nearly killed me. I'd be protective too if that was me. I wish! I want to know how they can live like family. I just want that normality. Please let them accept me. I hope to God they do or I'll have hunted that stinking bear for no reason at all. That was rank, how could they stick to that diet? Please decide, please decide."_

"_What do you think, Edward? Does he mean us harm?"_ Carlisle asked silently.

I checked Alice and Jasper's thoughts quickly.

"_Remorse, longing, a hint of jealousy, anxiety. There's that 'holding back' sensation still, but it feels as if he's holding it tighter now. And hope – there's a lot of hope."_ He hadn't heard Carlisle's question, but he had kept up an internal monologue of anything that might have been useful to us. I quickly moved onto Alice's mind.

…_the nomad sat stiffly on the sofa in our home, looking anxiously around. "Do you live here all the time?" he asked._

"_We've been here a few years now. I work at the hospital, and the _children_ have just finished high school," Carlisle answered._

"_Again," muttered Jasper from across the room._

"_You what?" the nomad asked with his eyes wide in astonishment…_

Alice was seeing clearly, the wolves and Nessie weren't near the image I'd seen. I picked up no intentions to harm us – that much was clear. But I'd seen Alice's memory of when the nomad had seen Rosalie, and I still felt an edge of concern. We'd just have to be careful. I caught Carlisle's eye and gave him a small nod. He then caught Alice's and then Jasper's gaze. Each nodded and I heard the jubilation in the nomad's thoughts.

"_Oh! Thank God! I know I'll never get you back, my dear Eleanor, but I really need this shot at normality. Please be there beside me, no matter what happens today. I'll love you, for all eternity."_

He smiled, and his head filled with the image of a pretty human girl who was pregnant. She must have been his Eleanor. No wonder he was shocked at the sight of Rosalie, if that was the image he held closest to his heart.

Carlisle smiled and stepped forward. "Welcome, Mathias. We appreciate your show of faith. That's a difficult step that not many would be willing to take." He held out his hand and the nomad stepped hesitantly forward.

"I am Carlisle, and this is Edward, my son."

The nomad's mind reeled at the introduction and I frowned at him, causing him to stop his approach. His uncertainty showed on his face.

"_So this is the elusive pastor's son. Finally we meet. I'm glad we didn't find you all those years ago. To have killed you and lost this opportunity – I cannot imagine where my life would be now."_

I stiffened and Carlisle shot me a concerned glance. The nomad caught the exchange, and panic clouded his features.

"I'm sorry if I made you start. I don't know the cause, but I best tell you that I know of you from old. I was in London when you were turned. I am ashamed to admit that I was part of a party of civilised vampires who took it upon themselves to hunt you down before you betrayed our lifestyle. We never understood how you remained undiscovered during your transformation and then managed to leave the city without killing and exposing us."

I relaxed at his words, the memories that formed in his head backed his story.

"It seems it is a small world after all then, Mathias. I am eternally grateful that you didn't find me, although at the time I would have thought you the answer to all my prayers. Let us not let the past stand between us." Carlisle held his hand out again and Mathias approached.

He shook hands with all of us, and kissed Alice's hand. Jasper didn't seem surprised, just a little protective. So I guessed this old-fashioned greeting had been exchanged before.

"Come on then, Mathias. I'd like to introduce you to my mother," said Alice and her voice brought more memories of Eleanor to Mathias's mind.

~o~

As we approached the front steps of the house, the rest of the family were waiting. Rosalie stood with Emmett, partially hidden by his bulk, Bella held Nessie securely in her arms, and Esme stood very slightly in front of everyone – the protective matriarch of her family. The werewolves were nearby, I could hear their thoughts, but they stayed out of sight. Mathias was staring at Nessie in fascination. She stared with equal fascination back at him.

"I'm Renesmee Carlie Cullen, but everyone calls me Nessie. Who are you?" she asked in her clear musical voice.

Mathias started, shocked. "You can talk? I didn't think children spoke until they were much older."

"I know that, but I'm not like other children. I'm four and a half months old. I'll be fully grown when I'm about seven years old. What's your name?"

"Sorry, you caught me by surprise and I forgot my manners. My parents would have been ashamed. My name is Mathias. Any other names I may have had have been lost over the passing of the years. It is my extreme pleasure to meet you, Renesmee." Mathias, swept a deep bow, and then held out his hand to take hers. Bella stepped back instinctively and Esme stepped forward to take his hand instead.

"Welcome to our home, Mathias. I'm Esme. Carlisle's wife and mother to our adopted children," said Esme as he held her hand. Mathias's mind swirled at the perceived slight, but then settled as he understood our caution. He kissed Esme's and mentally marvelled at our family.

Nessie, aware of the subtle avoidance, kept her hands around Bella's neck and carried on as if nothing had happened. "It's just, Nessie, and it's a pleasure to meet you too, Mathias. Are you staying with us a while? Alice said there's another thunderstorm soon and that's always fun."

"Let him get in the door, Nessie!" Bella laughed. She smiled cautiously at him and held out her hand. "I'm Bella Cullen, Edward's wife, and Nessie's mother." Mathias hesitantly took her hand, captured by the colour of her eyes. I heard questions reel around his head at the vivid red of her irises.

"Bella is also only a few months old. The trauma of Nessie's birth was too great and meant we had to change her. That's why her eyes are still so red," I explained.

Mathias wrenched his eyes from Bella's and quickly met mine, before flicking back to Bella. "Again, my manners. My father would definitely have had me flogged! I'm sorry Bella. It is a pleasure to meet you. I've never met a newborn like you." He bent and kissed her fingers.

"I am lucky enough to have been born with an old soul, my composure is the gift I brought with me into this life," she explained.

"That, and your beautiful daughter. I would like to hear your story, if you care to tell it," he said enthusiastically.

"We had best get inside then," Esme said and swept her arm towards the house.

"Hi, Mathias. Sorry I was an ass last time we met, but I am an ass where my wife is concerned," said Emmett in his usual style, breaking the formality of the moment.

"Likewise, Emmett. I believe I was a greater ass though. I'm sorry." They shook, and then Mathias turned to take Rosalie's hand. He couldn't keep the wonder out of his face as his gaze swept her slight bump, and his own eyes went wide when he met hers.

"Wow! I mean, your eyes? Why are they silver?" he blurted out.

"It's because of the pregnancy, Mathias," Carlisle explained quickly. He didn't want any questions about diet to be raised.

Mathias managed to compose himself again and bent to kiss Rosalie's hand. "I am truly honoured to meet you, and I would very much like to know your story, too."

His mind was full of questions. It was a good thing we didn't sleep, it would probably take days to answer them all anyway.

~o~

Mathias sat stiffly on the sofa, looking anxiously around. "Do you live here all the time?" he asked.

"We've been here a few years now. I work at the hospital, and the children have just finished high school," Carlisle answered.

"Again," muttered Jasper from across the room.

"You what?" Mathias asked with his eyes wide in astonishment.

"I work at the hospital. I've trained as a doctor and I use my skills to help others where I can. I've had many years of practice resisting the scent of blood. I barely notice it now." Carlisle explained.

"You have a job?"

"Yes. I thought you were surprised at my choice of profession, not that I had one at all. I find it immensely satisfying and it has brought the greatest joy to my life – firstly Edward, and a few years later, Esme. I found Rosalie injured, and she found Emmett a couple of years after that. Alice and Jasper joined us freely about fifty years ago. This lifestyle has brought me my family."

Mathias looked around at us incredulously. "You go to school?"

"The younger we start out, the longer we can stay in one place," I explained, "I'm seventeen, but I can generally pull off anything between fifteen and twenty five. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper tend to have to be a bit older. Alice can get away with being a bit younger as she's so tiny, but we can get away with eight or ten years in one place if nothing happens to expose us."

"You live as humans would?"

"Yes, everything except the sleeping and eating really. But I've had to eat occasionally to keep up the charade. Not pleasant, but a small price to pay for the life we lead," Esme explained.

"Everything you say seems to raise another dozen questions in my mind. I don't know where to start!" Mathias looked around at us. "How can you stay together without fighting? Every other coven I've met holds no real loyalty and often fights. How do you manage it?"

"I believe that the change of diet goes a long way to ensuring that. There's not the same level of bloodlust. When we have that under control, it allows us to focus on the relationships with those around us. I can't say we don't fight, but it's in a more human inter-family way than an all out murderous vampire way."

"Yeah! You should see Emmett sulk when I beat him at arm wrestling!" Bella added. Emmett growled, grabbed Bella, and threw her over his shoulder.

"Outside, now! Re-match!" Emmett grumbled as Bella laughed.

"Emmett, we have a visitor!" Esme called out.

"Yeah, sorry," he said as he placed Bella back on the sofa with me.

"We all know she'll beat you anyway," Nessie added cheekily, so Emmett growled at her, too.

"Right, you're banned from my Xbox until you apologise profusely!" We all laughed at the look on Nessie's face. She loved playing Emmett, well, beating him to be precise.

"Sorry, Mathias. You see what we have to put up with," said Carlisle. But he couldn't hide the enjoyment in his eyes. Mathias sat watching with his mouth open.

_They've got it all. They've got everything I want. Even the bickering. I want this. I want to have a family. I'd even drink another bear for this. _Mathias's thoughts were awed.

Jasper was smiling at the emotions he was picking up. "It makes the change of diet a little easier to palate doesn't it?" he asked. Mathias snapped his mouth shut and nodded as he watched Nessie try and tickle Emmett into letting play her Xbox with him again.

"Tell me everything!" he breathed. So, we took turns answering his questions and seeing the enjoyment in his eyes.

Eventually, Nessie tuned to me and whispered in my ear. "Is he safe, Daddy? Because I want to show him how I see our family." There was caution in her thoughts, but with a hint of pleading, too. She had seen the wonder in his eyes every time he looked at her.

Jasper had picked up my surge of concern and I picked up his increased awareness of me. That made me realise that there was more than enough protection to allow Nessie closer, so I gave her a small nod. With a broad smile she took my hand and towed me behind her as she approached him.

"Can I show you my favourite times? You seem to enjoy hearing about our family, would you like to see?" she asked tentatively.

"How, sweet one? How can I see?" he asked.

"I can put my memories into your mind, that's my gift. Some people don't like it, so I thought I'd best ask first."

"I would be honoured to share your favourite moments, Nessie." He replied. I sat on the sofa near him as Nessie clutched my hand in hers and reached out to Mathias with the other. The look on his face when she placed her hand on his cheek was priceless, and he gasped with delight as the memories flowed. I watched as the happy images swept past.

There was a lot of laughter and many images of us when we spent time with her. Shopping with Rosalie and Alice, climbing the trees and playing the piano with me. Cuddling and stories with Bella, running and hunting with Jacob, cooking with Esme. Even Charlie and Sue appeared causing gasps of shock from Mathias. Nessie took her hand away quickly and I pulled her into my lap where I held her securely.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"Grandpa Charlie and Sue. That's Mummy's father, and Seth and Leah's mother. They're falling in love and I'm hoping they'll get married. Alice loves organising things and I'll get to be a bridesmaid," she said happily.

"But they're human."

"I know. There are things we've got to hide from them, and I must never bite him even though he smells nice, but he spoils me and takes me to the beach. He's a policeman and he's got a cruiser with flashing lights!"

She'd completely failed to answer the question he'd thought he'd asked. She'd grown up thinking it was normal to spend time with humans.

"Let me show you my favourite!" she said, excited, and held her hand out to him again. He moved to place his cheek against her palm and the memories started once more. It was the baseball, wolves and vampires together, the cracks and smashes overlaid with the rumble of thunder. She even showed him the complete farce of our football game. "But that one was silly because they didn't stick to the rules," she tried to explain.

"Those were the noises in the thunderstorm? You were playing games?" he asked.

"Of course!" replied Nessie. "That's what we do in thunderstorms as it's the only time we can play. We make too much noise otherwise. Alice says there's one on its way. Jacob got me my very own baseball bat, and Alice has got me a baseball shirt to wear, and some shoes for running, but I use Jacob as I'm not fast enough yet and they'd beat me if I didn't." She was so excited she'd barely paused for a breath.

"Do you want to play, too?" she asked hopefully.

"I wouldn't know how to start, my sweet. I've never played baseball in my life," he replied honestly.

"Oh," replied Nessie disappointed, but she snuggled back into me, and let the conversation continue around her. Mathias was delighted she'd chosen to stay near him, even if he was wary of me.

Not long after dark she drifted off to sleep. It had been a long a busy day for her. "Let me just take Nessie upstairs," I said and stood with her cradled in my arms, "I'll tuck her in and we can continue our conversation in a moment."

"What?" Mathias asked. Oblivious to the fact she'd fallen asleep.

"She's sleeping. I need to put her to bed. She'll only wake and be cranky if we disturb her later."

He looked up at her and I heard the love swirling around in his mind. She had captivated him. The images from his memory included a small boy, but always from a distance, and always with the clarity of vampire vision. I guessed that this was the first time he'd been this close to a child.

* * *

**Please leave me some love! A few words would make my day. K :o)**


	21. Chapter 21: Outburst

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**A huge thank you to RedSummer - Beta Extraordinaire!**

* * *

**Mathias's POV**

Edward took Nessie from the room and I felt bereft. Wistfully, I watched him carry the sleeping child up the stairs.

"Put her in our bed, Edward. I think we're going to be here all night anyway," Esme called softly after him. They had beds? What on earth for?

It wasn't long before he came back and slid onto the sofa next to Bella. He smiled at her with such love in his eyes that I felt jealous that he'd managed to bring his love with him into this life.

"Please, tell me about Nessie," I pleaded. I had to know.

"She was a surprise – a very big and very scary surprise. The pregnancy nearly killed Bella many times over and we nearly lost her after the birth as Bella was human throughout. It was only luck that we managed to change her in time," Edward started to explain, but I cut him off.

"No, back up a bit. How did she happen?" I asked, but not very clearly, I wasn't sure what I was asking.

"We'd come to a compromise over my change. Edward wanted me to stay human; I wanted to become a vampire. He promised to change me if I married him; I promised to stay human longer if we had a proper honeymoon. Alice organised it all and it was fantastic. But at the end of the honeymoon I felt ill and thought I might be pregnant. We came home quickly and Carlisle diagnosed it. Rosalie looked after me though it, but I suffered many broken bones, bruises and internal bleeding. I barely survived," Bella explained matter-of-factly, but emotions played across her face as she spoke.

"Okay, but how did you get pregnant?" I asked. She'd completely avoided the important part.

Emmett gave me a strange look and then answered for her. "The same way humans do."

I thought for a moment, vaguely remembering time I'd spent with Eleanor. "Is that possible for a vampire?" I asked.

Emmett burst out laughing, looking more shocked than amused. "Oh, man. You have SO got to get laid!"

"Emmett!" scolded Esme, looking embarrassed at his outburst.

"Yes, Mathias," Carlisle cut in, silencing Emmett with a harsh look, "it is possible, but among those who drink human blood it's generally considered a poor substitute compared to the pleasure derived from hunting. We have found that when you share it with the one you love, the emotions and feelings are intensified, and we derive what satisfaction we don't get from the hunt in that way."

Emmett opened his mouth to speak, but both Carlisle and Esme stared him down.

"Oh. I hadn't thought of that. I didn't think it was possible, and I haven't spent much time with others of our kind. It seemed safer that way," I tried to explain my ignorance.

I looked at Edward and Bella and wondered how he'd managed to do that with Bella still human. He seemed to know the question forming in my mind. It must have been written across my face.

"Only with extreme self-control, and even then Bella didn't come through it unscathed. I was actually surprised that no bones got broken, but her body was smothered with deep bruises. With a fraction less control I would have killed her. Nessie is so special, and her kind so rare, because most of the time the mothers don't survive long enough to give birth. Bella is the only one we know of that has survived the birth itself, and that was only just, even though she was under the care of a highly skilled doctor." Edward's words carried a harsh warning.

I finally appreciated how special Nessie was and why it was so hard for the Volturi to believe her parentage until faced with irrefutable proof. I knew I couldn't even begin to think about gaining a family in that way. My gaze drifted to Rosalie who appeared to be sleeping against Emmett's shoulder.

"What about Rosalie?" I asked.

"Now, that is a whole different story," Emmett replied in a choked voice and pulled Rosalie close to his side.

Alice looked at him sympathetically, and then took over the story. "We'd gone out to hunt and were running though the forest when a Southern vampire by the name of Maria, and two of her newborns, attacked us. We managed to hold them off until the others arrived, but Rosalie was torn apart," Alice recounted. Emmett looked down into Rosalie's eyes and I could see the remembered pain and fear on his face. No wonder he was so protective. The Cullens all looked uncomfortable as Alice continued.

"We managed to destroy the newborns, but Maria escaped into the sea. We had to spend a long time putting Rosalie back together again, but the whole time she was in extreme pain. When we got back to the house she needed a lot of blood to complete the healing, animal blood doesn't work the same way human blood does. It was about two weeks after that we found she was pregnant, it's bought other changes, too – her eyes, she can sleep, and eat human food. It's progressing fast, just like Bella's pregnancy did. She'll be due in about two weeks."

"So you have to be ripped apart to get pregnant?" I asked, absolutely aghast. I'd thought that human mothers had it bad, but if a vampire mother had to go through _that_, then I couldn't imagine anyone would willingly subject themselves to the torture.

"No. That's just what happened to trigger our discovery. It's still uncertain and highly experimental," Carlisle answered.

"So with your discovery, anyone could get pregnant and carry a baby?" I queried. Hope fluttered painfully in my chest.

"In the future that may be a possibility, but not right now. It's not something that can be shared yet," said Carlisle cautiously.

My head began to whirl and Edward and Jasper tensed. I tried to calm myself and took deep breaths, but my nose suddenly burnt and I saw a native boy standing in the doorway. He smelt like the wolves.

"Okay, so in the future anyone can get pregnant?" I asked again.

Carlisle looked uncomfortable, but answered my question. "No, not anyone. Only those willing to commit to harsh guidelines – no human blood ever again, for the parents or the child. On pain of death."

Before I knew what had happened I was pacing, Emmett had shoved Rosalie behind his back, and Edward and Jasper sat on the edge of their seats, tense and wary, as if poised to fight. Carlisle just looked shocked. They held the knowledge I needed to have my own family, but were not willing to share it. The unfairness of the situation cut into me. Conceiving a child was something that anyone could do, but they'd cast themselves in the role of God and were choosing not to share it. My anger flared.

"WHAT? WHY? How can you impose such harsh conditions? Ones that could ultimately lead to your own family's death? Do you think you are the only ones who want a family so badly? How can you possibly think that you can keep this a secret?" I shouted out harshly.

Carlisle stood to face my accusations. "Because, Mathias, I do not condone the taking of human life, and I fully support the conditions that have been put in place, no matter what the outcome of this pregnancy may be. It is not our secret to divulge. The details will remain secret and go with me to my funeral pyre before I would share it with someone I do not deem worthy." He kept his voice calm, but his teeth were gritted tight together

"NO! You can't play GOD and pick and choose!" I hurled back at him. I was shaking now.

"Unfortunately for you, I can and I will. I would like you to leave now please, Mathias. I don't believe this conversation is going anywhere." He answered coldly.

"NO!" I replied equally coldly and held my ground.

"Please don't make us forcibly remove you, Mathias. I understand your depth of feeling, but this is not something I can offer at the moment. Maybe never. That is just the situation."

"You cannot know my feelings, you cannot know my mind. How dare you presume to know me!" I growled back at him.

"That is exactly what we do know, Mathias. We have gifts of our own," Edward said calmly. "We know how close you are to the edge, we know how much you miss your wife and child and how you tried and failed to save her. This is not a way to replace them. You can never replace Eleanor, you know that."

"ENOUGH!" I bellowed, furious that he had taken Eleanor from my mind. I saw the native boy leap and instinctively let my own gift lash out. I registered the surprise on Edward, Jasper and Alice's faces. Then the boy landed in a crouch, shaking, looking at me with hate in his eyes.

Ha! It worked on werewolves too! That was one to remember. Normality. Everyone reduced to normality. It certainly levelled the playing field.

Jasper approached me slowly, speaking softly, menacingly. "We don't want to kill you, Mathias. Leave us peacefully, keep our secret, and we will find you should our situation ever change. Fight us and you will die. Your gift will not save you."

I had no idea how I was still alive. My fury was abating, and I remembered the little girl's light touch on my face. I drew my gift back inside me and watched in fascination as the native boy suddenly exploded into the sandy wolf I'd seen on my first encounter. He snarled viciously, but did not attack.

"The reason you're still alive is because you don't really mean to harm us. That child sleeping upstairs is indeed the symbol of what you could have if you changed your lifestyle and waited, but we can't make promises with regard to that," Edward said in a tight voice. His hands were clenched at his sides.

"We need you to leave now, Mathias. Please calm yourself and think of your options. If you betray us we will know and we will kill you," Jasper said coldly. "We will not risk our family, and right now that is what you crave a part of more than anything in the world. Think about it."

I took one last look at the scars that smothered him and did not doubt his words. They held a secret of mine now, too. They'd felt and seen my gift in action.

"A secret for a secret. Keep my name and gift to yourselves, and I will keep yours," I offered.

"Accepted," Carlisle replied and then I turned and fled.

I sensed the presence of the wolves following me right up to the border. The sandy wolf, the boy I'd seen, crossed after me and snarled his fury. I lashed out at him with my gift and he crashed to the ground as a naked boy again.

"I have no intention of attacking you, but I _will_ defend myself, understand?"

Before he could speak, I pulled my gift back inside and he exploded into wolf again, with his ears back and hackles raised.

"Understand?"

The wolf stood his ground, and I left. He didn't follow.

~o~

I slipped back through the door of the motel, fully expecting the Southerner to have moved on, but found that her scent still hung heavily about the place and that the old man's body had been moved. She burst through the door at the bottom of the stairs.

"So, you deigned to return have you, my silent one?" she hissed. She appeared to be barely restraining her fury.

"I want a shower," I stated coldly, pushing out my gift to cut off any attempt at manipulation she might try.

"I want answers. I want to know what you found out."

"Later. Right now, I want a shower." I pushed past her and started up the stairs. I heard her scream of frustration and in a moment she stood in front of me again.

"You leave with barely a word, disappear for two weeks leaving that foul stinking carrion downstairs, and expect to waltz back in here without a saying a single thing about what happened. What do you take me for?"

"I don't take you for anything. It was your choice to stay or go. I did this for my benefit, not yours. If you want to know what I know, then you will wait until I'VE HAD A SHOWER!"

I pushed past her to my room and saw that she'd forced the lock. I pushed the door shut behind me anyway. The lock was nothing more than a token when she could just as easily walk straight through the wall.

I stripped and turned on the shower then stood beneath it trying to warm my body. I heard the Southerner crashing around in her room, obviously annoyed that I hadn't disclosed everything the moment I'd stepped through the door. Maria. That's who she must be. She'd had the tang of salt upon her when we'd first met, and Alice had said Maria had been driven into the sea. I needed to watch myself around her if she was an enemy of the Cullens, as I desperately wanted the secret they held. I decided to leave Maria without divulging their secret and give the vegetarian lifestyle a try.

I let the water run down my back and thought of Eleanor, thought of our baby, and then tried to recall the actually getting pregnant part. I remembered some of the sensations as they were similar to the release I experienced when hunting human prey. I couldn't really remember the mechanics of it, the actual act of making love. I looked down at that neglected part of my anatomy and wondered.

I ran my fingers down it, curious about the reactions my touch caused, then grasped it and gently pushed it though my fingers. I suddenly remembered Eleanor holding me in the same way and felt myself harden. I squeezed gently, and then ran my hand up it again as it grew harder still under my grasp. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the intense feelings that I hadn't experienced in far too many years. It wasn't long before I had to hold myself up against the wall, my legs grew weak as my climax grew. I was pumping myself hard, squeezing and twisting to entice new pleasure from the movements. In my mind I was with Eleanor. I knew I was groaning and crying out, but didn't care. I shouted her name when the fire ripped through me and I finally came.

I rest my head against the wall, gasping for breath. It was powerful – that was for sure. Whether that was because I still had animal blood in my veins, I didn't know.

"I could have helped you, you know." Maria said silkily from the door. "I'm quite practiced at relieving tension."

The sound made me jump. I felt violated by her presence and wondered just how long she'd been standing there. Damn that Southerner. I pushed past her back into my room in search of a towel.

"Here you go," she said as she held one out to me. I stepped closer to snatch it from her and in that moment she grabbed hold of my flaccid penis. She began teasing expertly to get a rise out of me. My body betrayed me instantly having so recently been reawakened from its three hundred and fifty year slumber. I tried to push her away but her grip was solid and I only succeeded in causing myself pain.

She pulled me to the bed by my now hardened member, flicked her skirt up her back and leant over the bed. She was naked underneath. I became angry and leant forward to grab her hair. I pulled a great fistful towards me, forcing her back to arch painfully. She gasped, but it wasn't a pained sound. She actually liked being hurt?

"I do NOT want you," I hissed in her ear. "I do NOT love you and I will NOT do this. Do you understand?"

"Oh, but you do. I can feel how much you want to. This isn't about love. This is about fucking," she growled back as she pushed her naked ass hard against me and rubbed so I slid between her legs and against her wet folds. I tried to pull away but she clamped her thighs tightly together, trapping me painfully in place.

I pushed her head away from me, roughly grasped her hips, and tried pull away. The efforts only made me grow harder still. My frustration grew – I shouldn't have come back here.

"Let me go!" I growled.

"I can feel you. You want this as much as I do," she purred and then with a deft movement of her hips she sheathed my length. My legs nearly buckled and I couldn't prevent the moan that escaped my lips. She shot an evil smile over her shoulder and rocked against me. I pushed her face down away from me. I felt nothing for her and didn't want to see her smug expression as I started to move against her.

"Arghh. Oh, Eleanor!" I moaned quietly to myself.

Her head shot up and she glared at me. "Maria! The name you will scream when you come is MARIA!" she said with venom in her tone. I felt her tentative manipulations, but let them be. Who cared what name I called? I grabbed a fist full of hair and pulled her up against me.

"_Maria_." I snarled and then thrust hard into her, taking everything I wanted from her. I pounded against her, lost, as my climax built. I felt her clamping and shuddering around me and that sent me over the edge into a powerful orgasm. Bizarrely, I had the sudden thought that Emmett had been right, I'd SO needed to get _laid_. "MARIA!" I snarled as I came, and then stood panting behind her as the powerful sensations from my climax dissipated.

I felt her subtle manipulations wrapped around me, each one no more substantial than a silken thread, and I looked at her beneath me; the white flesh contorted uncomfortably backwards, my fingers tangled in her dark hair, the malevolent sparkle in her eyes and her sharp teeth biting into her lip, enjoying the pain.

That wasn't what I wanted. Suddenly disgusted at myself, I felt dirty and manipulated. Roughly shoving away from her body, I lashed out with my gift and slashed away her tentative bonds. I slammed the bathroom door behind me and stepped beneath the shower, turning on the water again, as hot as it would go, trying to cleanse myself of her touch.

She was right there, abruptly pressed against my back. She ran one sharp nail down my spine and wrapped her silky intentions around my mind. I turned to push her away, but she dropped to her knees in front of me, her fast excited breaths washed over my flaccid member and the primal core of me responded, hardened, and betrayed me yet again. I drew in a breath to form the words that would drive her away, and gathered my normality around me to whip out and sever her tenuous hold over me.

Her mouth swiftly enclosed me, drawing me in until I could feel the back of her throat at my very tip. The words died on my lips, and my breath rushed out in a groan I couldn't suppress. She pulled back, fondling my balls and rubbing my shaft. My knees and my will weakened. As she slammed back onto me, she took me deep into her throat. My will was shattered and I was hers.

Her silken threads of manipulation wrapped into many layers around me. Whilst each one on its own was as insubstantial as a spider's web, their combined strength was just enough to hold me. I could have cleaved them in a moment if I'd wanted to; but like a fly captured and bound by a spider, I was completely at her mercy. I laced my fingers into her hair, and did _exactly_ as I was told, many times over, for the rest of the night.

* * *

**Sorry for the delay in updates, real life is intervening in my writing time. That, and the fact the sun is out and the fresh air is beckoning! But don't worry; I've plenty of chapters lined up to keep you ticking over throughout the summer holidays. **

**Please, please review. K :o)**


	22. Chapter 22: Questions

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**A huge thank you to RedSummer.**

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

I hated confrontations.

From the reactions of Jasper and Edward I knew Mathias had posed no real threat despite his anger. If he had then he would have died, no matter how much I was against it. I worried that he was a risk, but I couldn't – wouldn't – kill someone just for wanting what we had. Not wanting our family as such, but a family of his own.

Esme came to stand quietly at my side and laced her fingers through mine. Squeezing her hand gently, I turned to look into her beautiful golden eyes. I sighed and bent to rest my forehead on hers as she ran her fingers into my hair.

"Did I do the right thing?" I asked softly. I was so unsure all of a sudden.

"Did you see the look on his face as he held Nessie?" she asked in return and tilted her head back so her nose was against mine and her sweet breath played over my lips. "He was captivated. I don't think he is capable of willingly harming a child."

"I hope you're right, Esme. I really do. I try to see the best in people, but I've never been so unsure about anyone before. He changes so suddenly."

"We'll just have to trust him, Carlisle. What else can we do?"

"Move."

"I'm already looking into that. I know we can't go far, not if we need to be near the wolves, but I've found out their range and had a look to see what I can come up with. I'm looking at couple places tomorrow. Please stop worrying. There's nothing more we can do right now, my love." she said softly and kissed me gently on the lips before running the very tip of her tongue deliberately over them. I opened my mouth at her request and was soon lost in the kiss, deepening it and pulling her hard up against me.

I'd completely forgotten our surroundings until Emmett wolf-whistled and called over to us. "Get a room!"

Esme broke the kiss and whispered against my cheek. "Later, Carlisle. I promise. But Nessie's asleep in our bed right now."

"I'll hold you to that," I whispered into her hair and then returned my attention to the others in the room. "What's done is done. We can't change that now. We'll just have to keep an eye on the situation."

I pulled Esme with me to the sofa and sat down next to Alice and Jasper. "I'm sorry to ask you this, Alice. But please, would you search and see what his future holds at the moment. I'll understand if you can't or if it's uncertain."

"Of course, Carlisle," she replied quietly and dropped back into Jasper's embrace. Her eyes glazed and shifted as she watched things we couldn't see.

"He's running at the moment, but planning on packing and leaving. His mind isn't completely set yet, he's wavering between trying our lifestyle and stopping to hunt on the way," she said softly.

We watched her as she watched him and a grin slowly spread over her face. "He's made up his mind. He's going to give it a go."

I let out a huge sigh of relief and pulled Alice into a hug.

"Thank God for that," I said.

"We need to talk about his gift though. He wanted us to keep that secret, but I think we need to understand what we agreed to. It was certainly something I've never felt before," Jasper said with concern.

"I didn't feel anything, I wasn't aware he'd had a gift to use. I'm sorry if I agreed too hastily to his request. Who else felt it?" I asked, slightly alarmed again. The man was full of surprises.

"I did too, Carlisle," replied Alice. "It was as effective as standing up next to a werewolf. Everything went, but more so, as if it hadn't been there in the first place."

"I heard nothing while he held it over us, but just not an absence of sound like when Bella shields me, more like suddenly being unable to hear," Edward tried to explain.

"I felt it too. I suddenly had no shield, it vanished. If Edward had been unaffected I don't doubt he would have heard my mind. It was the strangest feeling," added Bella.

"Everyone with a gift felt it? Jasper, you didn't say what you felt? Can you describe it clearly? It sounds so peculiar," I asked.

"It was a sudden absence of feeling; I was just left with my own. It wasn't like the feelings were blocked because when I reached for them I found I had nothing to reach _with_. If you understand that," he explained.

"So, he completely disabled your gifts? All of you?" I hazarded a guess.

"Kind of, it was more like he'd just taken it away completely. Like it wasn't there anymore," Bella tried to clarify.

"It was gone, Carlisle. That's what it felt like," Edward added.

"And it wasn't just you guys either," said Seth as he stepped back into the room. "When he got angry here all of a sudden I couldn't phase, and when he – released – us, it suddenly shot through me and that's when I phased. I followed him right up to the border, and then I let my anger get the better of me. I went to lunge at him, just to scare him a bit, but he whipped out at me and suddenly I was human again – still just as angry, but there was nowhere for it to go. A moment later he released me, and I burst into wolf again."

"An interesting gift indeed. What on earth do you suppose it is? It's not just taking away gifts, as the ability to phase isn't a gift as such," I pondered aloud.

"The thoughts I picked up didn't give much of a clue. He seemed to dwell on wanting a normal life. He resented this one and everything it took away from him," Edward said.

"Maybe that's it. He wanted to be normal. What if that was his gift?" Esme asked.

"You've lost me," I said.

"We didn't feel it as we have nothing special about us. The others did because they have things about them that are not _normal_. Maybe his gift is normality?" she explained.

"You're suggesting that he can turn those around him back to normal?" I asked.

"Yes. That would explain Seth, because it made him normal as well. It's the same with the rest of your gifts, they work on humans and werewolves. His gift works on them, too."

"That's certainly an interesting one," Jasper commented.

I just sat in silence. That gift could cause a lot of problems, or a lot of advantages. It all depended on which side you were on. It ruled out the option of the werewolves protecting us, as they lost their own protection when they were human. We'd learnt that much from Jacob. All of a sudden I hoped Jacob would come back soon.

"Carlisle, I want to go and talk to Sam. He needs to know about this nomad in case any of his pack meets him. I'll ask Quil and Embry to run the border, too, just to make sure," Seth stated, and he headed straight for the door. He didn't look towards the kitchen once.

As the front door closed Alice moaned, the sound was full pain. I turned quickly and saw she was in a vision. She was clinging tightly to Jasper, shaking her head as she spoke. "No. No. Not her. Please."

"Who, Alice? What are you seeing?" Jasper asked, but Alice just shook her head again.

I looked at Edward. He was watching the vision in Alice's mind, and I saw his jaw clenching as he ground his teeth together.

"This is not looking good. Would someone please tell me what is going on?" I asked exasperated.

"Maria's got him," Edward hissed through gritted teeth. For a moment I wondered who, and then realised he meant Mathias.

"She's not hurting him is she?" I said, worried for the man.

"Anything but." Edward growled.

"He didn't want to. He was going to leave, but she wouldn't let him. She's got her claws into him, now she's toying with him." Alice spoke from her vision, toneless as if she were miles away.

"He's not complaining much," Edward said with venom.

Alice shook off the vision and glared at him. "Like that's a surprise. I thought he put up a pretty good fight considering. Jesus Christ, Edward. He only found out it was possible this afternoon. He's never felt that as a vampire before. Of course she'd use it against him. If you hadn't had any for over three hundred years, don't you think you'd give in too?"

"You're standing up for him? When he's betrayed us?" Edward spat.

"He hasn't betrayed us!" Alice snarled back at him. "I saw his decisions, and he'd decided to change. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"No, not any more it doesn't. He hasn't betrayed us _yet_, Alice. How long do you really think it's going to be before he tells her everything she wants to know?"

"I don't know!"

"Exactly."

"Slow down! Edward, Alice. Explain yourselves," I snapped sharply. I didn't like the antagonism I heard in their exchange.

"SEX, Carlisle. The archetypical honey trap," Edward growled.

"Oh, we are SO screwed," exclaimed Emmett.

"Yeah, astute observation there, Emmett," Edward muttered. "I'm going home." He turned and ran upstairs and came down a moment later with Nessie asleep in his arms. He went straight out the door without even glancing in our direction.

Bella grabbed my hand. "Sorry, Carlisle. I'll try and calm him down. He over-thinks things and has probably blown it all out of proportion."

"I hope so, Bella, because if he hasn't and he's right about Mathias…" I trailed off. I didn't want to think what might happen to our family if he told Maria. Of all the people it could have been. Why her?

"We'll be okay. We're a family and we'll stand up to her together. She's just one person," she said with a brave attempt at reassurance in her tones.

"Yeah," added Emmett. "With a thing about newborns. Great!"

"Carlisle," said Alice. "I can't see anything happening yet. It's still on the path that he decided earlier. No further decisions have been made."

"I guess we wait and see." I sighed, defeated.

"Come on," Esme whispered softly and pulled me away from the others. "There's nothing we can do right now."

I allowed myself to be dragged into our room and sat on the dishevelled bed. I reached over to grab the forgotten bear that was tucked in neatly on the other pillow. In some ways Nessie was so mature you could easily forget how young she actually was. I hugged the bear and hoped everything would work out, but I'd never doubted my decisions as much as I had recently, and the strain was weighing me down.

Esme lay back and pulled my head to her chest. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight as she ran her fingers through my hair. I lay there thinking for a long time, and still I could come up with no easy solution. Until we knew what Mathias and Maria would do we were stuck. I sighed deeply.

Esme's fingers trailed down to the nape of my neck sending ticklish shivers down my spine. I raised my head to look at her and she simply smiled back at me. My beautiful Esme, my beautiful wife. I buried my head in her neck and kissed her scar. I vividly remembered turning her; the hope and longing, the uncertainty that went with that decision, they were all nothing compared to what I felt at that moment. I kissed her scar a second time and heard the softest of moans. I grinned against her neck and kissed it again.

She pushed me gently onto my back and looked at me with a distinctly mischievous sparkle in her eyes. I grabbed her arms as she pushed herself down my body, stilling her movement. "Esme, no. You know I can't keep quiet when you do that. The others are in the house," I pleaded.

The music suddenly came on again downstairs, and the sparkle in Esme's eyes took on a wicked edge. "You'd best grab something to muffle the sound then," she purred as she grabbed a pillow and thrust it at me.

"For the love of God, Esme!" I growled as her fingers trailed down my stomach. I clasped the pillow over my face, and just to be sure, grabbed a second to go on top of it. I tried to be quiet, I really did, but as she grabbed my buttocks and squeezed them I groaned. When I felt my zip lowered slowly, and her cool breath against my stomach, all my muscles clenched in anticipation. My breath caught in my throat, only to burst out in a deep moan of pleasure the moment I sprang free and felt myself brush against Esme's cheek.

She ran a finger up my length and rubbed the moisture that had already gathered at my tip back down to my base before softly fondling my balls. I managed to restrain the groan and growl building in my chest, but lost it completely when she repeated her actions with her tongue.

"Oh… ESME!" I growled, the pillows didn't help much.

She drew me slowly, exquisitely, into her mouth, taking all of me and driving me wild. After years of practice, Esme could hold me right at the edge until I was writhing and begging, frantic for her, and that was exactly what she did to me as I slowly gave up my control.

"Esme! Please! Oh, God… ESME!" I roared as she drove me over the edge into blissful release.

I lay gasping as she crawled up my body until she knelt on all fours over me. "You are a wicked woman, and I love you," I purred and grabbed her hips pulling her down onto me and I showed her just how much I loved her, over and over again.

The pillows didn't survive until morning, but by some miracle the bed was still intact. We lay in it surrounded by scattered feathers. Esme picked a few out of my hair and then gave up, sprawling across my chest. "You're just as bad you know," I told her, as I pulled feathers from her luxurious locks. I loved the feel of them as they draped across my skin. I took my time running my fingers through her hair until it was clear of feathers and knots. It shone in the morning light.

"I need to hunt this morning, Carlisle. There are a couple of properties I want to have a look at today and it's always easier meeting new people when I've just fed. Do you want to come, too?" she asked quietly.

"I won't today. Sam and his pack are due to come round, and I want to be near Alice in case she picks up what's happening with Mathias and Maria," I explained.

"Okay. I'll be looking for the usual; secluded, access to the park, and enough rooms for everyone plus a few spares. But what else do you need? I guess an outbuilding or office, but how big?"

"I'll work with whatever you can find, my love. We'll have to refurbish it totally anyway. I'll trust your judgement; you always seem to find exactly what we need!" I said as I bent my head to kiss her.

Esme left me on the bed and dressed quickly before dropping out the window. I looked around the room and thought I'd best tidy it up before she got back. I knew Alice would keep quiet if she _saw_, she always did, but if Emmett caught sight of the mess I'd made, he wouldn't let me forget it for weeks.

~o~

**Maria's POV**

That had been fun. Once his defences were down he was almost too easy to manipulate. Anyone would think he hadn't done it before.

We lay in the remains of his bed. I was satiated but now hungry for the hunt. I thought about going, but remembered his determination to leave and decided to stick by him for a while longer. He knew something and whatever it was had stirred him up, If I hadn't been around when he'd returned, I'd probably have come back to find his room empty.

"What's your name, my silent one?" I asked.

"My name is nothing," he replied.

"If it is nothing, then you can share it with me," I pushed.

"Mathias," he said softly. All fight had gone out of him; the silence and frustratingly impenetrable exterior had been completely broken down overnight.

I tried to figure out how old he was. His name wasn't common, and he seemed to have a blandness to his accent that I couldn't place. Not that I'd had much opportunity to figure that out, as he spoke so rarely. His manners were distinctly old fashioned though. Maybe he'd been around a while.

"What did you find out?" I asked curiously.

"What did you want to know?"

"Everything."

"You lied to me. They didn't confront you. You confronted them."

"Mere details. Inconsequential." I dismissed him.

"Not to them. They're on their guard now, protective and defensive. Three nearly died and they weren't pleased. No one with red eyes can cross their border now. Not even allies."

"I guess that explains your eyes then. You actually fed on an animal?"

"There was no other way and I wanted to speak to them."

"Three? I thought only one was rent."

"I think they count your fight with Alice as near certain death for her. After all, you command one of the Southern Clans don't you?" he asked.

"Did they tell you that?"

"No, I figured that out before I met them. You admitted you came from the south, but showed no fear of being hunted. A subordinate would never be so calm and self assured."

"Perceptive. What about the other two?"

"Rosalie was torn apart, but you must have known that. She's been repaired, but Emmett, her mate, is very protective now. I didn't get to speak to her."

"She's alive then?"

"Yes, alive and well. You failed to harm her permanently. The other was a werewolf, but I've no idea what happened as the only one who showed his face was a boy. He's smaller than most I saw standing against the Volturi, and he wasn't the one that stood close to the child. He was the wrong colour."

"What are their plans?"

"I don't know," he answered sullenly.

"What are they doing now then?" I asked exasperatedly.

"I don't know."

I was suddenly angry and leapt up from the bed to stand over him. "You've been gone for two weeks, and you DON'T KNOW? What on earth were you doing all that time?"

"Mostly waiting, I couldn't enter their land with the taint of human blood on me."

"You obviously got onto their land. Your eyes are still that sickly colour. What did you talk about when you were there?" I asked with my jaw clenched. Trying to get information out of him was like pulling teeth.

"I wanted to know about their life, how they managed to stay together."

"And what about what I wanted to know? Did you ask that by any chance?" The growing frustration had me pacing the room.

"No," he stated simply and looked away.

"Arrrgh! MATHIAS! What was the point of you going then? Why have you come away with so little information?"

"I went because I was curious, and I stayed to get the answers I wanted. I was thrown out before I asked what you wanted to know."

"But you are so BLAND, Mathias. Why on earth did they throw you out? Didn't you say your 'Please's and 'Thank you's?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, I attacked them," he answered – blandly.

My jaw dropped and I stood staring at him open mouthed. What was with this man? When I regained my voice I croaked out, "Why?"

"They refused to tell me what I wanted to know," he said and sighed.

"I am amazed you're still alive!" I gasped.

"So am I."

"What on Earth did you want to know so badly that you'd risk your life?" I asked.

"How Rosalie got pregnant," he said softly.

All the breath left my body and I sat down hard.

~o~

**Alice's POV**

"She knows," I said as visions filled my mind.

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**Abject apologies for the complete lack of anything over the summer holidays. The time vanished into the whirlwind that was having the kids home 24/7. Hopefully, the routine will drop back into place now and valuable writing time can be carved out again. **

**Thank you for your patience. Please, please review. K :o)**


	23. Chapter 23: Futures

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. Everything else is mine. Nothing may be copied without the express permission of the owner. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.**

**A huge thank you to RedSummer.**

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**Alice's POV**

They washed over me, all the possible futures that appeared and disappeared as Maria thought about what she'd just heard. None were pleasant. All showed someone I cared about either scared or in pain. One particularly vivid possibility showed Jasper wild with grief, being dragged away by Maria. I gasped and pushed the visions away, turning to throw myself into Jasper's arms. He enfolded me with his love and protectiveness without saying a word.

The wild flurry of visions settled and solidified into something that chilled me to the core. Another snow covered battlefield, great pyres of burning bodies, Maria's face twisted in fury and Jasper's scream of pain. Then that all changed, gone. I shook with the horror that still flooded my system, before that, too, was gently soothed away.

…"_What are you going to do about it?" Maria asked. Mathias just shrugged and turned away to get dressed. He appeared crushed, as if all the fight and hope had gone from him._

"_What can I do? By telling you I have forfeited my life, they won't let me live now that I've betrayed them. I have no chance of ever having a family. You have taken that away from me," he said sadly._

"_Can't you take what you want by force?" Maria asked, surprised._

"_What force? I am one, they are eight. The last time they were confronted they surrounded themselves with their friends and allies. What can I hope to gain by that? Carlisle said he'd take the secret with him to his end."_

"_I can provide you with an army," Maria said matter-of-factly._

_Mathias snorted in disbelief. "Your kind of army would destroy them. What use is that to me? What do you want from the Cullens anyway? You don't seem the mothering kind."_

"_They have something that is mine and I want it back. That simple. By helping you get what you want, I can get what I want."_

"_And what is that exactly?" Mathias asked._

"_Jasper," Maria snarled._

_Mathias laughed. It was a dark and bitter sound that held no humour in it whatsoever. "Then you have less chance than I of achieving your dream. You cannot break love like that without breaking Jasper, too."_

"_That's the idea. I want him back with me, fighting like the killing machine he is, not playing house and happy families."_

"_You don't get it, do you? If you kill Alice, Jasper will be nothing. The first fight you take him to will be his last. You've never been in love have you?" Mathias said bitterly._

"_What has love got to do with this?" Maria asked._

"_Everything! And that is why you will not win this fight with force. The only way you will ever get what you want, or for me to get what I want, is for it to be given willingly."_

"_Like _that's_ going to happen," she growled and threw herself down in a chair._

"_Then move on, leave what you cannot have."_

"_NO! He is mine, and I _will_ get him back. It's not as if you could walk away and leave what you cannot have, it is? You want what they know and you aren't going to rest until you've got it. So, don't expect me to do what you're incapable of," she snapped back bitterly._

_Mathias sighed. "That's where you're wrong, Maria. I can walk away and leave it. That is the best option I have of ever achieving my dream. If I give them peace and time, then there is a slim possibility. If cannot have a family, then I'd quite happily die."_

"_Then there is an option open for you, Mathias. Go to the Volturi. Ask for their help. They'll either kill you or back you against the Cullens. Your choice."_

"_How many ways do I have to say it, Maria? I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT THE CULLENS!" Mathias shouted into Maria's face, finally losing the calm exterior he'd put up around him._

"_But that's the beauty of it, Mathias. You won't have to fight, The Volturi can ask them in ways that can't be refused," Maria purred, and moved closer to Mathias to stroke his back and soothe him. "You're not the only vampire in the world to want a family. You'd be helping all the others in the same position as you. There ARE many you know. That's why there were so many immortal children, so many mothers yearning for a child."_

_Mathias crumpled under her touch, she pulled him close to her and whispered in his ear. "The Volturi need to understand. At the moment if anyone sees the baby they're going to think it's an immortal child. It won't be like the hybrid, it'll be pure vampire. The Cullens won't have a chance if the Volturi don't know what's going on. It'll be destroyed."_

"_NO! That can't happen."_

"_It's what will happen if they hear about it and don't know," Maria said softly stroking Mathias's hair._

"_Alright, I'll go. Maybe they can help, at the very least it will protect Rosalie's baby," Mathias replied looking defeated. Out of his sight, Maria grinned._

"_Don't tell them about me. If you do I'll die. They don't forgive those who fight in the Southern wars."…_

I jumped up quickly, anger coursing through me. Jasper followed me, obviously feeling my fury, but not knowing its source. "The twisted little BITCH!" I cursed, and began pacing the room with my fists clenched. I'd been right there in the vision, and now I desperately wanted that closeness to be able to punch her.

"Despite everything, he was still trying to resist her. He doesn't want to fight or hurt us. She's twisted that to make him do the one thing that will ensure we're destroyed!" I growled, still pacing in front of Jasper. He grabbed me and held my arms tightly, capturing my eyes with his own.

"What's she done?" he asked.

"Persuaded him to go to the Volturi!" I wailed.

"WHAT! Why?" Jasper asked aghast.

"She said that if they knew it wasn't a hybrid, they'd think it was an immortal child. She told him the child would be destroyed, and that it would protect Rosalie's baby if they knew the truth," I said.

"That would be Maria's way. She had a way of getting what she wanted; she manipulates people easily. She'd find a weakness and use that against them," Jasper explained.

"She's still after you, Jasper. She's going to use him to destroy us and get you," I said as my voice cracked into a sob. I remembered Mathias standing up to her about that, and I thought he was right. I knew that if Jasper died, I'd be looking for a way to follow straight after – why would it be any different the other way around.

"She's never going to get me, Alice. I'd never go back to her, ever. You know that. There's a new future I want to have with you now," Jasper said softly, lifting my face to kiss me. "You _are_ going to have the chance to be the mother of our child one day, and I _am_ going to be there for that day to happen." He wrapped his arms tight around me.

…_Aro paced with fury on his face. "You expect me to believe this fanciful tale on just your word? After the complete farce with the hybrid, I will not be taken for such a fool again."_

"_I thought you should know so you are not taken in by any other reports of the Cullens having an immortal child. Rosalie is pregnant. She will be having a baby and it will be pure vampire. But it will not be an immortal child," Mathias explained carefully and patiently._

"_And you expect me to just believe you?" Aro asked incredulously._

"_Yes, I am a man of my word," Mathias replied._

"_I do not believe in words, even memories can be deceiving. Show me," Aro commanded and held out his hand._

"_I have memories I do not wish to share. I have no wish for you to 'shoot the messenger' as it were."_

"_You believe you have a choice?" Aro asked coldly._

"_I do. I would not have come otherwise," Mathias answered cryptically._

"_Jane, dear. Would you?" Aro purred in her direction._

"_Aro, please. Enough of your posturing. Are you interested or not?" Mathias asked calmly as Jane hissed from across the room._

"_Interesting! Are you a shield too?" Aro asked smiling._

"_Anything but," Mathias stated as he strode up to Aro. Renata cowered behind Aro as Mathias approached, but his path never wavered. Aro looked momentarily stunned then covered quickly. He put his hand out to touch Mathias's, but removed it again after a moment._

"_Now you know," said Mathias._

"_I know nothing, you blocked me."_

"_Exactly. Now you know what I am capable of, is what I meant," Mathias explained._

_Aro smiled, and ushered Renata away. "Interesting indeed. You want me to protect the Cullen baby in exchange for what, exactly?"_

"_In time, I want their secret. I want a family. But they are not prepared to share it right now. Carlisle said he would take it to his funeral pyre rather than divulge it."_

_Aro laughed. "You are a contradiction aren't you? Powerful, but without the need for power. I take it Chelsea would have no effect on you either?"_

"_Absolutely none," Mathias replied wearily._

"_In that case may I offer you our hospitality? I want to check out your tale discretely to avoid another farce."_

"_It would be my pleasure. I've always wondered how the great Volturi lived."_

"_Demetri, Jane, Felix. See what you can find out"…_

I let out a huge sigh of relief. "They don't believe him! He wouldn't let Aro read him." I was almost bouncing with excitement. "He's still on our side, even if Maria has manipulated him into going, he thinks he really is helping."

Jasper smiled and ran a finger down my cheek. "You're speaking in the past tense again, about something that hasn't happened yet! Do you have any idea how confusing that is?" He bent to kiss me. "Do you know when this is going to happen?"

"Soon, his eyes were still golden. He hadn't hunted," I explained. "But Jasper, Aro is sending some of the guard to check on us," I said suddenly deflated.

"Who's he sending? And when do they get here? Did you see that?" he asked, the Major in him in charge again.

"He sent, is sending, Felix, Jane and Demetri. I haven't seen when they arrive. I'll search," I said as I reached for the visions that were gathering at the edges of my mind. Everything was so clear all of a sudden.

…"_That's disgusting! You cannot seriously be considering doing that!" Felix said aghast. Jane wrinkled her nose and stared at Demetri._

"_Oh no! Not me!" he said through gritted teeth._

"_What other option do we have? You heard them. We need to see her with our own eyes. If Aro looks and doesn't see her, what's he going to do?" Jane asked, giggling._

"_Ha ha, very funny, Jane. You don't have to enjoy it quite so much," Demetri snapped at her._

"_One of you is going to have to do this, Felix? Demetri? You don't want to be on the receiving end of one of my little smiles. Do you?" she challenged._

"_I don't think I can. I only fed recently, but your eyes are nearly black. It'll have to be you," Felix said smugly, smiling at Demetri._

"_Fine!" he snarled and stamped off leaving the others laughing…_

I had to laugh too. "Demetri has to hunt, the others refused. It's only him coming to the house."

"Well, at least we can handle one of them," Jasper said as he smiled. "I hope he takes down a herbivore! That would be a shock to the system for him."

"At least he had, has, the guts to do it. None of the others will," I said in his defence.

"True, but he'd still try and kill us all if he was told to," said Jasper seriously.

…_Demetri entered the house with Edward and Jasper at his side. Carlisle and Esme rose to greet him. "Welcome, Demetri. Thank you for your efforts, that can't have been easy."_

"_You have no idea," muttered Demetri. Edward laughed and Demetri scowled at him. "Oh yes, I forgot you could do that. Enjoy it while you can, Edward."_

"_I understand you want to meet Rosalie to confirm Mathias's story. You need to see her so Aro can pick it from your mind," said Carlisle purposely revealing just how much we knew. He turned to the door and called Rosalie in._

_Rosalie entered the room with Emmett hovering protectively at her shoulder. She was showing her definite bump to its best effect in expensive designer maternity clothes. Demetri's mouth dropped open…_

"Oh! It's soon. Rosalie is still pregnant, but only just by the looks of it. She's huge! When did Carlisle say she was due?" I asked.

"Not long, I know that. Did he see her?" Jasper asked.

"You could say that, his eyes nearly dropped out his head. Come on, we'd best warn Carlisle," I said as I grabbed his hand.

I saw him as we got to the top of the stairs, but didn't have time to call out.

…_A figure approached, she seemed scared, and confused. "Carlisle? Carlisle! What's going on?" she called across the lawn…_

Everything blurred and I heard Jacob apologise. I tried to hold the vision loosely so I could still pick out the words.

…"_Sorry, we had to be certain you were safe. A lot has happened recently and everyone is on their guard."_

_The figure became clear as Tanya ran to the house and into Carlisle's welcoming embrace. "What's been going on? I thought the wolves were your allies, but as I got to the border they surrounded me. When I met these two they dropped back. It was not a welcome I expected here," she said anxiously._

"_It is a long story, Tanya. One best told in the comfort of our living room. It's been an interesting few weeks to say the very least. A lot has changed, and unfortunately not all for the better. You're welcome as long as you like, but we will be moving soon," he replied…_

"Wow, its all happening. Jacob and Leah are back soon, and they meet Tanya on the way. I think that's happening today," I said uncertainly. Carlisle met my gaze and then looked out into the garden.

"Carlisle? Carlisle! What's going on?" Tanya's voice drifted across the lawn.

"Sooner rather than later then!" said Carlisle as we all moved to the door. As we stepped out, Jacob and Leah emerged from the trees.

"Sorry, we had to be certain you were safe. A lot has happened recently and everyone is on their guard," Jacob apologised.

Tanya ran towards us and straight into Carlisle's arms. He hugged her to him, and then she lifted her head. "What's been going on? I thought the wolves were your allies, but as I got to the border they surrounded me. When I met these two they dropped back. It was not a welcome I expected here," she said anxiously.

"It is a long story, Tanya. One best told in the comfort of our living room. It's been an interesting few weeks to say the very least. A lot has changed, and unfortunately not all for the better. You are welcome as long as you like, but we will be moving soon," he started to explain, but then Jacob and Leah stepped up onto the porch with us.

"Good to see you back. You best check in with Seth and Sam. I guess you've already picked it all up from the pack mind, but I know they'd be pleased to actually see you and talk it through face to face," Carlisle said as he released Tanya and clapped Jacob on the shoulder. He went to hug Leah before he caught himself and awkwardly ran his hand though his hair instead.

"It's okay, Carlisle," she said and quickly squeezed his hand. "Thanks, for… well, umm…" She shrugged and blushed before jogging into the trees.

"I'll catch up with you after my Dad has lynched me," said Jacob as he smiled nervously. The rumour was that Billy was livid that they'd just disappeared. He hadn't expected Carlisle's unorthodox solution to the problem of Leah coming into season.

"Alice!" Tanya cried and grabbed me in a huge hug. "You look like you've just seen a ghost! It can't be that bad surely? What's been going on?" she asked quickly.

"A lot, Tanya. We'll explain, but what about you? To what do we owe this honour?" I asked in return, she seemed to have a slightly frantic edge to her happiness. I could see Jasper frowning out the corner of my eye.

"I just needed to get away for a while," she said, dropping the mask and showing the true sadness that lay underneath. "With Irina gone, the house just seems empty. Well, not empty, but filled with couples. Carmen and Eleazar, and now Kate and Garrett. I'm feeling lonely all of a sudden and I haven't felt that in years," she explained.

I pulled her close to me and held her tight. "Well, you've come to the right place if you need a distraction, but I warn you, it's a bit of a mad house right now." I pulled her inside just as Rosalie and Emmett came down the stairs. Rosalie's face broke into a smile when she saw Tanya and she ran to hug her, too. Tanya went rigid in my arms and her breath strangled in her throat. We'd forgotten to warn her.

"W-what? How?" stuttered Tanya. She was frozen to the spot.

"Sorry, forgot to warn you. I did say a lot had happened," I apologised weakly.

"Geez, Alice! Understatement or what?" Rosalie cut in, grabbing Tanya's stiff arm and dragging her to the living room. "Come on, we'll tell you all about it. It's a long story."

"But, you're… What the hell is going on, Rosalie?" Tanya faltered, stopping them both in the middle of the hall.

"Yes, I am. In about two weeks. Now will you please let us tell you?" Rosalie said softly, and then pulled Tanya towards the living room again. She looked over her shoulder at me, stunned. I shrugged and followed them. It was going to be another long discussion, but hopefully less explosive than the one we'd had with Mathias.

~o~

**Jasper's POV**

I waited in the hall a moment longer, gasping at the force of the emotions radiating from Tanya. She hid them well, but I knew her hold was tenuous. If she was to hear Rosalie's story then I needed to be near her, preferably with her permission, to help keep those feelings in check. I pushed Tanya's turmoil away from me and focused instead on feeling soothing and calm. I knew it would leak out in spite of my efforts to keep it inside, but it would be subtle and take the edge off the mood without it feeling manipulating.

"Rosalie!" I called, following them into the room with a broad smile on my face. "Where are your manners? You can't grab our beautiful cousin and drag her away before we all get a chance to greet her," I said and walked towards Tanya with my arms open. We weren't the closest, but I could feel her relief as she rushed across the room and into my embrace.

"Oh, God! Help me, Jasper," she whispered into my ear as I squeezed her.

"I'm right here," I breathed back to her. Only Alice was close enough to have caught the exchange, but she showed no indication that she'd heard. I let the calm out from me slightly and felt Tanya relax in my arms.

"Thank you," she breathed, and then pushed herself away from my body and smiled up at me. "Jasper. It's a pleasure to see you, too. I can't wait to hear all your stories," she said as she grabbed my hand and Alice's and dragged us to the sofa, pulling me down next to her, grasping my hand desperately and tucking it out of sight between our bodies. Alice sat curled under my other arm radiating gratitude.

_Edward? We've got a visitor. Tanya's here and taking it badly. I could do with some backup_. I thought as loud as could and hoped he wasn't shielded.

We talked briefly about Denali; how Kate and Garrett were getting on and news from Carmen and Eleazar. Then I heard Nessie's high voice and tinkling laugh coming through the forest. She clattered up the steps, all grace forgotten in her rush to get into the house.

"Tanya! Daddy said you'd come to stay. Is Carmen coming too?" she trilled as she ran across the room and leapt on Tanya. I felt her surprise, and then the comfort she got from the huge hug.

"She's not, my sweet one. But she did say to give her _bebé linda_ an _abrazo grande y muchos besos_. I guess you beat me to it," Tanya laughed then kissed Nessie's forehead. Nessie grinned then snuggled down next to her.

Tanya stroked Nessie's hair absent-mindedly as the conversation turned to our own dramatic recent events. I tired to let her feelings flow as she took in the story, controlling them only when they escalated and her hand clenched tightly on mine. She was furious at Maria's attack and subsequent escape, horrified at what Rosalie had had to go through, completely perplexed by Jacob's actions and intrigued by the changes it brought.

Tanya's grip tightened on my hand as we came to Rosalie's pregnancy. I had to work hard to contain the confusion, jealously, longing and fear. But they were nothing compared to the resentment and indignation she felt when Carlisle refused to share our secret.

"But how can you keep it to yourselves, Carlisle? We're the closest thing to family that it's been possible to have. Why can't you share it with us? You know what it means to us. Please," Tanya pleaded desperately. Carlisle looked torn and I could feel his internal conflict. Compassion vying with caution, respect bordering on love weighed against loyalty and obligation.

Edward stood and crossed the room. He crouched at Tanya's feet as he took her hand. "Tanya, this is a very difficult decision for us all. It's not one we've taken lightly, but it is one we've had to make. If our secret got out before we are ready, then lives would be lost. There has already been too much killing, and we will not be the cause of pain such as that caused by the plague of the immortal children."

Tanya visibly flinched at his words and her face went hard as fury surged though her body. I rushed to contain it, but Tanya threw may hand away and rose to stride across the room, stopping inches in front of Carlisle.

"Have you _dared_ to create another immortal child? Didn't enough _die_ last time?" she hissed into his face. I reached out with my gift to sooth her, but she snapped around to me. "No, Jasper. Leave me be!"

"Tanya, please. It's not like that. This child will learn, mature and grow. It's everything that immortal children were not, everything they couldn't be. Don't you think that we would have stopped it before now if there was any danger of that happening again?" Edward tried to explain.

"How can you know? This hasn't happened before. There is no precedent. There is no one who can prove to the Volturi that _that_ baby isn't another immortal child." She was almost snarling.

"Of course we don't want to see them die! We would never risk our family or yours in that way." He seemed to be answering her thoughts instead of her words. Tanya, Irina and Kate had only survived the plague of the immortal children because of their ignorance, but they'd still had to watch their mother, and her child, burn. We, and now her, were all fully aware of Rosalie's baby and if the Volturi ruled against us, we would all die. Her eyes narrowed challengingly.

"Because I can hear it! It's like Nessie was; aware, advanced, understanding already," Edward revealed, stunning Rosalie and Emmett as much as Tanya. Silence filled the room as we all stared at Rosalie's belly. I saw the ripple of movement underneath the thin material.

"It's scared of all the noise and shouting," he said defeated. I reached out and could feel the anxiety overlaid by Rosalie's wonder and annoyance. I sent a wash of reassurance to the little being and felt its whisper relief.

"Why didn't you say?" Emmett asked softly, his hand resting protectively on Rosalie's belly, stroking the baby within.

"It's only been a few days. I didn't want to say in case it didn't end well. I thought it would be easier that way. When Nessie…" he trailed off and his fear and anxiety rocketed. Possibly remembering her touch-and-go birth.

Tanya stood shaking, wide eyed, clasping onto Carlisle's arm for support. Her shame and fear hit me hard, but it was a different kind of fear. Fear for the baby, rather than fear of the baby. I went to her with my hand out, a peace offering.

"No, don't. We understand. Don't feel that way," I said softly, waiting for her permission to help. She slipped her hand into mine and I pulled her into my arms so she could hide her face in my chest. It took a few minutes to calm her, but the shame and grief went slowly. The pity and compassion that replaced it confused me until I realised she had turned her head to meet Carlisle's eyes. I didn't need to read her mind to understand that she was thinking of Esme.

"You can't share it with anyone, can you?" she asked softly.

"No we can't, not even between ourselves. No matter how much we may wish it," he replied equally softly.

"I'm sorry for my outburst, Carlisle."

"I know. It's not the first over this and it won't be the last. There's more to our story you see; we've already been found out."

It was harder to sooth her anxiety as we told her about Mathias, Maria, and his impending trip to the Volturi, that was mainly because I was just as anxious, we all were.

"They'll come in a few days and we'll meet them at the border," Alice explained. "Demetri will have to change his diet temporarily, so it's only the one of them actually coming onto our land." She briefly slipped into a vision and smiled. Edward folded over laughing.

"Oh, I wish you could all see that!" he gasped. "Demetri on his first vegetarian hunt, you should see his face!" Even I had to crack a smile at that thought.

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**Thank you for your patience. Life is in a bit of a tail-spin. Please, please review. It would make my day! K :o)**


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